You’ve just been promoted to a management position and you will be transferred to a new location. The people on your new team are new to you and you are new to them. How can you possibly connect with this group?
This is the daily struggle for every leader. How can I connect with my team better? Leaders help groups move to new locations, but that will never happen if the leader has no connection with the audience.
As a speaker, if you can build a strong connection with the audience, you’ll have more leadership influence with the group.
The Key is Influence
John C. Maxwell has summarized leadership into one word… influence. Remember, influence has a noble purpose, not a self-serving purpose. The negative side of influence is called manipulation. It’s selfish and pure evil. We’re talking about the noble skill of leadership influence.
Influence is not about what the leader wants personally. It’s about what the team needs. Here are four methods Maxwell has presented as bridges we can all build to connect with others.
1. What you know
Do you remember the game show called “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” In that trivia game show, if you didn’t know the answer, you could use a life line and phone a friend. From the show, you could tell the host who you’d like to call for help on the question. Then, they would ring up your friend so you could ask the question.
When people need advice or guidance, they call upon people who have a knowledge they don’t. When speaking to a team you may have advanced training and knowledge or you may have received information from the executives and they want to know it. Either way, when you know information the team wants and needs, they will connect with you and seek your input or advice.
2. What you’ve done
Imagine if you were attending an industry conference and the breakout sessions were about to begin. There were 2 speakers speaking in different breakout rooms at the same time. You obviously can’t be in two places at once, so you’re being forced to pick just one. Choose wisely because you will never get to hear the other. Who will you pick?
The first speaker is a great speaker. Delivery is impeccable, great tone in the voice, little bit of humor, and uses the stage effectively. Not sure about the content she’s talking about, but she is guaranteed to have a great delivery.
The second speaker is not nearly as good on the stage. That’s a fact because he’s not a professional speaker. But,he’s just returned from being stranded on a desert island in the Pacific after a shipwreck. He was trapped on the island all alone for 7 weeks. He’s going to speak about his physical, mental and emotional struggles.
I’m guessing 9 out of 10 of you would rather hear the Robinson Crusoe speaker! Why? Because of what he’s done. When people have had struggle experiences we have not, we want to learn from them. It creates a connection.
This isn’t about bragging to others. It’s about recognizing if you have something of value you can share with others to help them move further down the road and avoid some of the issues you’ve had to endure.
3. What you can do
One of our instructors once had a student in class mention he could do a back flip. Seriously! From a standing position in the classroom, he said he could do a full back flip. What do you think the next comment was from another student? You guessed it. “Do it!”
But before he did, someone else asked, “How did you learn to do that?” The student told his back story of always challenging himself. He came up with the idea to learn a back flip and committed himself to doing it. He recruited a friend to come over and spot him and after many bruises and attempts, he did it! The moral? Find your next challenge, recruit help from others, and commit to overcoming it!
When others know we are capable, they may want to leverage our skill set in the future. If you are willing and able to help others with a skill you have, they will want to connect with you. Use your skills to help others, not so you can expect something in return. Do it because it aligns with your core value for serving others. Which leads us to the 4th method of connection…
4. How you’ve lived
This is all about your values. It’s so true that words are cheap. I’m sure we’ve all experienced the pain of hearing a friend say the right things and then act in a completely different or inappropriate manner. It’s the source of the expression, “Actions speak louder than words.”
People like Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Jesus… all lived lives of sacrifice. If we had the opportunity to have a conversation with an any of these people, we would want to listen! We appreciate strong core values, worthy of admiration, but even more than that… we appreciate someone who has lived out the values they preach.
Know your values and live in alignment with them. It sounds so simple. I’m willing to admit… I’m still working on doing just that.
A challenge for all of us… use the 3 steps from last week’s conversation tool and let’s combine it with living out our core values. Then, let’s start building stronger connections and relationships with the ones we serve and love.
Until next week…
Let’s connect…
on Twitter if we haven’t already?
OR Let’s connect via my Facebook page!
iSpeak teaches workshops on Professional Selling to help sales leaders gather the most important data and then use that information to create the right message. Are your sales presentations closing eyelids or deals?
Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. His leadership blog assists leaders in giving voice to their vision. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.
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