You’ve heard it plenty of times, “It’s not WHAT you say that’s most important, it’s HOW you say it.” I disagree with that statement. I don’t think the WHAT or the HOW is most important. What’s most important is “what they HEAR!”

Too often I feel like the emphasis we put on speaking skills is on the speaker without putting too much thought into the WHY behind everything we coach into a speaker. Why would we coach a speaker to do the following:

• slow down when you say this line
• give a pause immediately after you ask this question
• make sure your eye contact lands on other eyeballs
• step toward the audience when you transition to this content

Why should we care?

As a coach, why do I care if the speaker does any of these things? Why is it important? Why do I think it would be good for the speaker to implement some of these things? Why…??

If we can’t answer the why question then we shouldn’t be coaching these things into people. I think sometimes we all lose sight of this “why” and it starts to hurt our own coaching and communication. There is an answer to the why question and it’s extremely important. But we may have to ask the why question several times to get to the real answer.

Why do you want the speaker to pause after that question?

Because… it will go the audience time to think about it.

Why do you want them to think about it?

Because… it will be more engaging to the audience.

Why do you want it to be engaging to the audience?

Because… I want them to really listen to the message.

Why do you want them to listen to the message?

Because… they will need to understand this to get their work done effectively.

There it is!

There is the real benefit to the audience. The speaker speaks for the audience… always! I know the speaker showed up that day for a reason. The speaker has a goal to accomplish by speaking. But sometimes we forget the audience showed up for a reason too. Sometimes they have their own goals for attending the session.

Even if the audience doesn’t know why they showed up, they will assume they will gain something by being there. There is a benefit to them attending and you (the speaker) needs to make sure they get it. Do you want to know the secret to being one of the greatest communicators ever? It’s actually quite simple. Always give the audience what they came for!

You see it’s not WHAT you say that’s most important, and it’s not HOW you say it that’s most important. What’s most important is what the audience HEARS. The audience shows up for a reason.

So when it comes to you coaching yourself or others, it doesn’t take a masters degree in Neuro-Linguistic Programming to offer the best coaching. You just need to make sure you’ve answered the one question everyone in the audience has… “Why should I listen?”

Still trying to give them what they came for…

See you next week,
Russ