His question was the most common question I get in workshops on public speaking. “How do I overcome the fear and anxiety?” He had no idea where I was about to take him with my answer. It’s a good question because most people feel something on the inside when it comes to public speaking. But the crazy thing is there’s one secret to control the fear and it’s probably not what you think.
Tools You Can Use
Sure, there are plenty of tips and tools you can use to help get those butterflies flying in formation, but the real secret lies much deeper inside all of us. If you’d rather just start with the tools, here are a few that can help:
- Know your content. If you don’t know it well, go study.
- Prepare and rehearse. Run through your talk a few times. We even suggest you stand in the room you will be presenting to rehearse.
- Prepare for the tough questions. You’re going to get some. Speculate on the toughest questions you might get, and then rehearse your responses to them.
- Arrive early. Running late for anything will increase your heart rate and anxiety level. You don’t need that today.
But, what’s the deeper solution?
I’m glad you asked. This is the more permanent solution. This is the solution that provides a true foundation to confident public speaking. The true root of overcoming fear and anxiety of public speaking is simply this… be present. That’s it. If it sounds too simple, you’re right. It is simple. But that doesn’t make it easy.
What’s the key to being present?
I’m going to ask you to stick with me and hear me out. I’m preparing you because some of you are going to read the next paragraph, roll your eyes and say, “Oh brother! Please…” right before you exit this web page. Please don’t! Stick with me until the end…
The key to being present is getting your mind and body to occupy the same space and time. The way to do that is with meditation.
I knew it! You rolled your eyes didn’t you?! 😉
Please hear me out! I’m not talking about sitting in a lotus position, staring at a candle and burning incense in a dark room.
Do you know what mediation is? It’s one thing. That’s it. That’s the definition of mediation… one thing. To meditate you don’t clear your mind of everything. When you meditate, you clear your mind of everything except for one thing.
What’s the one thing?
It really doesn’t matter. Just focus on one thing for two minutes. If you know anyone who meditates regularly, ask them what you should focus on for two minutes and I bet they’ll tell you to start with your breathing. Just focus on your breathing for two minutes. Don’t change your breathing. Just focus on it. Notice your breathing.
For me, I usually coach people to pick one of their 5 senses and then focus on the data currently coming in through that port (you’re just like a computer!) for two minutes. My personal favorite is the sense of touch.
How I coach my leaders to meditate
I first learned this technique from my good friend and speaking coach, Paul Slattery. If I have a leader struggling with some anxiety before a presentation, I will find a quiet place for us to sit. Once he’s seated and still, I have him notice what he feels starting with the lowest touch point on his body (his foot in his shoe, pressure from the floor on the sole of his foot, etc.)
Then, we work up the body to the next touch point he can feel (one leg crossed and sitting on top of another leg). Then, move up the body to the next touch point (back of the thighs sitting on the chair). This continues until we reach the head. I have him turn his head slightly to feel it move. Then we work our way back down to the feet using the same checkpoints.
If you do this system check using your body’s sense of touch, up and down the body twice, you’ve just meditated for about 2 minutes!
Why does this work?
This is the essence of presence. The presence you project to others is rooted in your mind and body being in the same place. In other words, if your mind and body are occupying the same space and time, you’re present!
You know this is true because I’m sure you’ve had conversations with others and you can tell when their mind is someplace else. It bothers you. We want someone to be fully present when they’re communicating with us. Being fully present has benefits for both the speaker and the audience.
Before you speak, if you allow your mind to travel through space and time instead of being present, it starts to tell your brain stories and it takes you off your game.
- “I remember the last time I presented to this group and they tore me up with tough questions!” (Your mind is in the past.)
- “I just know they’re going to ask me a tough question and I won’t have the answer… or I’m going to forget something and lose my train of thought!” (Your mind is in the future… a false future!)
Get your head in the game!
If you played sports, my guess is your coach has dropped this one on you before. And she couldn’t have been more correct. Getting your head in the game means you bring it into the present. You get your mind to be in the same space and time as your body. That’s where your body is doing all the work right now… and it needs the brain to pull its weight too!
Be present for your audience.
It serves both you and the audience.
It’s where you live
In reality, the present is the only place you can really live. You can plan for the future and you can remember the past, but living can only take place in the present. So you might as well let your brain live a little too. Why should the body have all the fun?
Until next time,
Let’s connect…
on Twitter if we haven’t already?
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iSpeak teaches workshops on Professional Selling to help sales leaders gather the most important data and then use that information to create the right message. Are your sales presentations closing eyelids or deals?
Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. His leadership blog assists leaders in giving voice to their vision. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.
Useful for so many aspects of life! Great article – thank you!