It might be hard to believe that I’m already giving up on a New Year’s resolution, but then again… maybe you’re right there with me. Seriously, it’s not even February and my life-changing commitment has already fallen by the wayside. But why? I’ve found the reason and if you’ve ever given up on a commitment, you did it for the same reason…
I just don’t feel like doing it anymore.
Isn’t that why we all stop doing whatever it is we stop doing? We just don’t feel like doing it anymore!
- Why didn’t you go running today? I didn’t feel like it.
- Why did you stop your weekly blogging? I didn’t feel like it.
- Why did you eat drive-through food instead of cooking at home? I didn’t feel like it.
- Why didn’t you go to the gym after work? I didn’t feel like it.
- Why didn’t you clean your room? I didn’t feel like it.
- Why didn’t you turn off the TV and pick up that book? I didn’t feel like it.
As much as I’d like to think my decisions are logical, they’re really just about my feelings. Then you know what I do? I come up with a logical reason to support my poor-feeling decision. Somehow I feel like some stretch of logic will justify my lack of doing.
What Can We Do?
Three things we can do to outsmart our feelings and reach our goals. These three areas of focus help by making it easier, supporting you, and kicking you in the butt when it needs to be kicked.
First, Let’s Make it Easier
I’ve written about Dr. BJ Fogg before in my blogs. He’s dedicated his career to studying motivation and personal achievement. He’s most known for helping people achieve by developing what he calls tiny habits.
We can make our achievements easier by focusing on developing tiny habits first. Don’t make your first step too big or you’re more likely to give up on the enormity of the task. I’m reminded of the Bill Murray movie called “What About Bob.” Bill Murray’s character learns how to live a full life by taking baby steps toward his goals. Make sure you have some tiny goals to start. Let’s get a quick win!
Second, Let’s Get Some Help
Kerry Patterson is the author of several books, one of which is called Change Anything. In his research he has found there are 6 elements of support required for us to achieve anything. These 6 break down into two categories: people and tools.
People:
- Yourself (you’ve got to believe!)
- Cheerleader (your friends)
- Coach (someone to hold you accountable and offer guidance)
Tools:
- Information and tools (books, YouTube videos, DIY, Blogs, smart phone app)
- Organized Group Sharing (Weight Watchers, book club, discussion groups)
- Environment or System (organized classes, run club, structured eating plan, pre-defined shopping lists)
Third, kick your own butt
Mel Robbins is the author of The 5 Second Rule. What she found is that sometimes you just need to kick your own butt to defeat the “I don’t feel like it” excuse.
When we don’t feel like starting, we don’t. When we have an impulse or idea to progress toward a goal, we need to act on it… within 5 seconds. If we allow the “I don’t feel like it” feeling to stall us, it will recruit the brain to come up with a logical excuse within 5 seconds. If we don’t take action within 5 seconds of the impulse, we’re doomed. The feeling wins again.
So what am I going to do about my situation?
Well, I’m not going to wait until next year to start over again. It’s time to start over again… and that’s okay. I’m taking a mulligan.
Knowing I will eventually hit a wall and I won’t feel like doing it anymore, I’m going to approach it in three steps:
- Pick a small step to start with (don’t run 10 miles on your first day… why not just walk 1 mile?) I’ll leverage the Tiny Habits approach from Dr. BJ Fogg.
- Make a plan to enlist all 6 support elements Kerry Patterson describes.
- When I don’t feel like doing it, I’m going to count down 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 and then say “Go!” to get past those hurdles. Time to kick my own butt.
Life’s failures are the learning lessons on the road to success. As Alfred (Michael Kane) in The Dark Knight movie says to Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale), “Why do we fall sir? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.” It’s time for me to get back up. If you’ve stumbled too, I invite you to join me.
If your New Year’s Resolutions aren’t where you want them to be… it’s not too late. Get up. Time to reset. Start over. It’s okay to take a mulligan. You can have a do over, and I’ll take one too. Seriously, if Batman gets a do over, so do we!
See you next week… that is… if I feel like blogging.
Just kidding 😉
Russ
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iSpeak teaches workshops on Professional Selling to help sales leaders gather the most important data and then use that information to create the right message. Are your sales presentations closing eyelids or deals?R
Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. His leadership blog assists leaders in giving voice to their vision. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.
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