Why is it so hard to build new habits?

Steps to help you create permanent change

Why is it so difficult to create sustained change in our lives? We hear the dismal statistics on how many New Year’s resolutions are broken each year by the end of January. I know its true because I’ve been that guy.   And without pointing any fingers, I’m guessing I’m not alone. It’s hard to keep those commitments!

Creating change is difficult and we tend to give in to our indulgences and our escapes instead of keeping our commitments. A Wall Street Journal article in 2009 pointed out how our brain can become taxed with a simple task like navigating the crowds while walking down a busy sidewalk. And as a result… we cave to our animalistic desire for a reward and we consume that pint of ice cream we so deserve or watch mindless television instead of reading that book.

I’ve definitely set my share of goals (e.g. starting a blog, learning what that Twitter thing is all about, that gym thing, I’ll just stop there…) and I’ve broken more than I care to recall. But if I want to change my track record, something has got to change for the better. Nothing improves until something changes.   So what can we do to keep our commitments to ourselves and develop new habits?

BJ Fogg, research scientist, points out that developing new habits only happens when three areas converge; motivation, ability and a trigger.  I’m a firm believer in motivation and ability creating the pathway to success. If I want to lose a few pounds or just feel healthier, I know I need to change my consumption rate of Tex-Mex Food. In the 90’s my wife and I joined the masses and jumped on board the Atkins diet (a tortuous affair where everything good about food was taken away, except for bacon, which is about the only reason I accepted the challenge!). This diet created a bounce effect with me and most everyone else on the diet. All of the allowed menu items were such an extreme shock to the system that the habit of eating this way could not be sustained long-term, bacon or not.

My ability to maintain the diet lost out to my motivation for consuming bread. Another habit bites the dust. Okay Dr. Fogg, you got my attention. Now I was intrigued how the third element, the trigger, plays a role in my habitual success.

According to Fogg, developing new habits will take an increasing level of motivation depending on your current level of ability. It’s best to start with a tiny habit performed after an already established habit. This is the trigger. His example is, “After I brush my teeth (established habit), I will floss one tooth (tiny new habit.)” Eventually you can develop those tiny habits into larger ones. Crash diets don’t work for sustained periods of time because the ability required for success is too high for your current level of motivation.

So, take the first step, but make it a small one. For example, I’ll give up all bread on Mondays and Wednesdays. We know the first step can be the toughest, but the good news is that it’s only a step. If you place it immediately after an established habit (your trigger), you’re more likely to follow through. If you are old enough to remember the movie “What about Bob?” starring Bill Murray (one of the greatest!), then you remember his secret to change was all about taking baby steps. Dr. Fogg would be proud of Bob. The best way to create big change is to take tiny steps.

We all struggle with adopting new habits, but the good news is we can make the process easier by working on tiny habits. I understand the power behind pursuing a big goal, but I’m glad I have permission to take tiny steps to get there. I think I’ll take a tiny step toward the kitchen… for some bacon.

How do you deal with change?

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