I was about to jump… but the 50-foot drop to the rocks below caused me to pause. “Just step out to the edge and jump away from the edge.” My zip-line guide made it sound so simple. I’d just seen 6 others do it and walk away without a scratch, but now it was my turn. I was with my family on our summer vacation taking a zip line tour at Zip Adventures in Colorado.

This stop was called “The Canyon Plunge” and although our zip line tour guides said it was optional, everyone was lining up to do it. This was not a zip line, but a free fall jump off of a cliff. I tried to calm my nerves by talking with Chris, the guide who had just harnessed me into both auto-belays. I asked him, “Do you use two belays for redundancy?” He smiled at me and said, “Exactly… and each one alone can belay 280 pounds. That’s 560 all together…” He gave me a quick once over with his eyes and with a smile he finished his sentence, “I think we’re good.”

Whether you’ve ever jumped off a cliff before or not, I think we’ve all been in a position where we’ve had something at risk and we had to pause before we took our next step. Whether you’re a salesperson, an executive, a volunteer coordinator, a teacher, a parent, a project manager, or an engineer… we will all play the role of the leader when we’re required to choose a next step for our own story.

“ Choices with consequences create movement in our stories.

Here’s what I’ve discovered about making those tough decisions. I’ve learned these steps by reflecting on the actions of leaders I’ve had the honor to work with in my own career. Their tough decisions were tough because there was something at risk. They had something at stake… something to gain but potentially something to lose. We can all learn from these steps. I hope you find the words of encouragement you need to take your next step… because it’s time to jump.

5 Steps for Making Risky Decisions

1. Recognize the Fear

Fear is not a weakness. Please hear me… FEAR IS NOT A WEAKNESS! Fear is one of your senses. Losing one of your senses would be a disadvantage to overcome or a weakness. When you have all your senses you are stronger. Fear is one of your senses. So when you have fear in a situation, just recognize it. Thank your mind for doing what it’s supposed to do… alert you when you should take notice of the situation.

2. Know the Real Risk and Payoff

The only reason we have fear in a situation is because something is at risk and we don’t want to lose what is at risk. In my example of stepping off the cliff, I was thinking about losing my health (e.g. broken bones, etc.) or my life! In your tough situations, slow down and reflect on what is actually at risk here. Know what you stand to lose but also know what you stand to gain! Think about the reason why you’re willing to risk. What do you have to gain? Then, move quickly to the next step!

3. Devise a Plan to Mitigate

Now, answer this question… How can you reduce that risk? Can you make one more phone call before you submit your pricing proposal? Can you talk to a mentor before you present your quarterly business review to the executives? Can you put a contingency plan in place in case the vendor can’t deliver on your tight timeframe? Can you put some pillows on the floor before you jump off the top bunk bed? Can you connect a second belay to the jumpers before they jump off the cliff?

4. Believe in your Plan

This step can be a tough one because it’s a mental game you’ll play with yourself. This ugly question will rise up in your brain, “But… can I trust my plan?” Here’s how I’ve learned to deal with this question. Your brain will try to take you back to the original risk.

For me on the cliff it was… “You’re risking your life!” But I had to counter that thought with the new risk… the mitigated risk. “No, that’s not true!” With the 4 carabiners attached to me, the two support lines, the two auto belays each able to handle 280 pounds, and the benefit of seeing 6 others go in front of me successfully… my risk is not my life. My new risk was much smaller… and just think of what I had to gain! The thrill, the excitement, the fun, the story to tell!

“ Have faith in your plan.

5. JUMP!

Now comes the fun part. You’ve addressed the biggest risk.

You’ve got a plan to reduce your risk exposure.

You know the payoff.

Now enjoy the ride.

JUMP!

So What Do We Do Now?

We can all implement these steps when we arrive at the forks in the road of our own career… or when we arrive at the 50-foot cliffs. Just like many things in life, it may be simple but that doesn’t mean it’s easy! Just knowing the process for addressing the tough decisions isn’t enough. We need to be willing to implement the plan.

It’s been said that people are either in a tough situation right now, they’re coming out of tough situation, or they’re about to go into one. Regardless of your current status, use this process to address the forks in your road. Remember, your story would have no movement if you weren’t making decisions that included some risk. It’s time to move your story along… It’s time to make the decision… It’s time to choose!  Let’s go!

It’s time to jump…
Russ

Nobody answers their phone anymore and they never return a cold call voice mail! Right? I’d beg to differ. iSpeak has been using outbound calling for almost 15 years now and we still see positive results. Much of what I share below was learned from Dara, our Sr. Sales Consultant. She’s the highest caliber professional in the learning and development industry; her clients love her and we’re lucky to have her.

Of course, we all love it when we get an inbound lead from a referral, but what if your phone isn’t ringing much? What if your passionate customers just aren’t recommending you to others? You can’t just sit around waiting for the next LinkedIn ad or Blog post to generate a lead, right? So what can you do?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not disputing the importance of social media selling, opt-in marketing, SEO, online funnels and other types of lead generation, but if you think cold calling just doesn’t work… maybe you’re just doing it wrong.

What can we do proactively?

Do you want to stand out from your competitors? Well think about this. If people are abandoning the traditional cold call, you might just stand out from the crowd if you do make those calls… and if you do them well! In his book The 4 Disciplines of Execution: Achieving your Wildly Important Goals, Sean Covey points out the necessity to identify both your lead and your lag measures if you want to affect outcomes.

“ One of the few things that can’t be recycled is wasted time. —SEAN COVEY

Lag vs. Lead Measures

A lag measure is what we are usually very good at measuring. It’s measuring the outcomes. What were your sales last month? How much of your quota have your required? How many opportunities did you add last week? Sometimes we forget about the lead measures.

A lead measure is something we can measure that will ultimately drive the outcome we want. Think of it as the measurement of the activity prior to achieving the results. If, for example, we want to achieve sales per month of $10,000, then we can’t just track our sales each month. That is a lag measure. By the time we get the measurement, we have no opportunity to change it. It’s already in the past!

However, if we measure things like the number of cold calls made per day, the number of emails sent per day, the number of face-to-face meetings per week or the number of proposals sent out each week, we’re now measuring the primary activities that ultimately affect the outcome we’re seeking. We know that if these numbers (lead measures) increase, our odds of reaching our higher sales goal (lag measure) also increases.

7 Tips for Better Cold Calling

If one of your lead measures is to make more outbound calls to potential prospects, here are some tips for improving your cold calls (lead measures) so you can improve your outcomes (lag measures).

1. Use both voicemail and email

Call and leave a voicemail and mention you will send them an email, as well. In case it is easier to respond that way. Then, send an email and point out, “I just left you a voicemail, as well…” The combination of the two messages received in a short period of time will stand out.

2. Don’t sound desperate

People buy to satisfy a business need. They are looking for a solution to an issue. They want to improve their business. If you have a product or service that best fits their business need, they’ll want to have a conversation. If the voicemail or phone conversation sounds like it’s more about you making a sale… they will smell it… and they will run.

3. Establish your credibility

You don’t have much time in a voicemail or an email, so you need to be succinct. If the prospect is not familiar with you or your company, you need to establish yourself as a credible source and you need to do it quickly.

“We’ve worked with other Learning and Development leaders similar to you…”

4. Focus on their business need

They have a business need. It’s been said, “No one likes to get sold, but everyone likes to buy.” The point is this… establish quickly that you’re looking for business needs where you can help. If you know the typical issues your customers struggle with, let them know you’re familiar with those needs.

“… and they’ve told us one of their biggest concerns is replenishing the numerous leadership vacancies being created by retiring baby boomers over the next 10 years.”

5. Position yourself as a problem solver

You don’t sell products or services. You sell solutions. You are a professional problem solver! If you’re going to satisfy their business need, you need to be good at solving problems. In your first voicemail or email, you could include something like this:

“We’ve been able to assist others in preparing their next generation of leaders with our High-Potential Leadership Communication workshops.”

6. Offer a connection

Give them an opportunity to connect with you for a future conversation. This can be short and simple with a couple options for connecting. You could leave your phone number, email or even send them a LinkedIn invite, as well.

“If this is an area you’re also investigating, I’d be happy to share some thoughts on how we’ve been able to help others and what we’ve learned. If you’d like to speak and if the timing is right for you, would you please let me know the best way to set a time for us to talk?

I appreciate your time and look forward to connecting with you.”

“ People don’t buy from people they like. They buy from people they trust. —RUSS PETERSON JR.

7. Be patient, it’s a relationship

If you’ve been in sales for awhile, you know it rarely happens quickly and there is no magic potion for sales success every time you try. People don’t buy from people they like… they buy from people they trust. Take the time to establish some trust with your prospects and customers.

“If I don’t hear from you, I’ll set a reminder to reach out to you again in 3 months.”

If you thought cold calling was dead… I’d invite you to try it again.

Let’s sell like professionals,
Russ

Books referenced in this post:

Cut The C.R.A.P. and Make the Sale, by Russ Peterson Jr.

The 4 Disciplines of Execution: Achieving your Wildly Important Goals, by Sean Covey, Chris McChesney, Jim Huling

The executive sat there staring at me while I thought about his question. I didn’t have an answer. His question was about the financial structure of our deal. I didn’t see any problem with structuring the payments by his request, but I didn’t have the authority to make that call. I’d have to run this by my boss for approval. I responded by saying, “I don’t have that answer right now. Can I get you a response by Friday?”

I knew my response didn’t sit well with the VP when he shot back, “I need that answer right now! …or this meeting is over.”

Ouch.

I made a phone call to get the answer. Even though we agreed to his request. I didn’t win that business. You don’t win ’em all… but it sure feels good when you do!

Over my 25+ years as a sales professional, I’ve had my share of sales wins and losses. But even when I lose a deal, I know I can always look back and find a lesson learned. Maybe there was nothing I could’ve done different to win that particular deal, but maybe I could change my approach in the future. For this experience, I learned to always think through what I’m empowered to negotiate and what I will need manager approval on before I go into any sales presentation.

Here are 7 sales lessons I’ve learned…

1. You’re too focused on your quota

Jokingly I’ve heard it expressed that all salespeople are coin-operated. While we do get paid a commission for retiring our quota, the quota cannot become the primary focus. Why? Because customers can smell it. If they get the sense that you see them only as another notch in the belt as you move closer to your accelerator commission kicking in, they’ll turn and walk… or run!

2. You don’t understand the business need

All customers talk to salespeople because they have a business need. They’re either fixing an issue or they’re building for a brighter future. Either way, their investment in whatever you’re selling is to help their business. I’ve seen too many sales opportunities either lost completely or reduced in $$ size because the salesperson was just selling widgets instead of understanding how the customer was going to use the widgets. Ask about the business need!

“ Seek first to understand and then to be understood. —STEPHEN COVEY

3. You don’t know why you won

I had just won a large contract that took 18 months to chase. I was excited about the win and took it to my manager. His first question brought me back to earth quickly. “Why did they pick us?” I could’ve guessed, but I really didn’t know the answer. Obviously they thought we were the best choice, but I didn’t know any specifics. My manager’s point was this, “If you don’t know why they picked you, then how do you expect to duplicate this type of win in the future?” Always find out why you won or lost!

4. You’re not curious

When the customer says something that makes you go, “Hmmmmm.” You need to take note and ask about it! I learned to start labeling anything that made me curious. If it was good news or a potential to increase in the sale, I’d mark it with a $ in my notes. If it was potential hurdle to closing the deal, I’d mark it with a ! in my notes. If it definitely made me curious but I wasn’t sure if it was good news or bad news at this point, I’d label it with a ? in my notes. Question anything that makes you curious and you may increase the size of your opportunity!

“ To be a better listener, stay curious! —RUSS PETERSON JR.

5. You’re not familiar with the buyer process

Every buyer makes a decision for a reason. They walk through a mental process of defining a need, searching for potential solutions, analyzing the options, then justifying the final choice (weighing risks), before they make their final decision. This is the buyer process. When you align your actions to help them walk through this process, they feel you’re helping. When you move through your sales process with no concern to their process, you just became the pushy salesperson.

6. You don’t know how to influence without manipulating

The tools of influence and manipulation are the same. The difference comes in the answer to the question, “Why are you doing this?” If the answer to the question is purely a selfish reason with no regard for customer’s needs, you’re manipulating. Stop trying to bend the customer to your thinking. Enter every engagement with a focus on helping the customer solve a problem and your heart will be in the right place.

“ Example, whether it be good or bad, has a powerful influence. —GEORGE WASHINGTON

7. You ask too many closed questions

I’m reminded of this one every time I’m speaking with my teenage kids. I want to develop a good relationship with them by engaging them in conversation. How can I get them to open up and talk to me? Ask questions! So, I start asking questions. “What are you doing tonight? Who are you going with? What time are you leaving? When will you be home?” I’m asking questions, but they’re all closed questions! My kids feel like I’m interrogating them! When I ask more open questions like, “What do y’all talk about? Why do you think so many kids drop out of school their senior year? What do you think are the best challenges to write about for college application essays?” Practice asking open questions to hear the whole story.

I’ve had my share of losses and my share of successes over my selling career. One thing I’ve learned, I can turn anything into a win when I take the time to reflect on the learning lesson in each experience.

Here’s to learning something new!

Best,
Russ

Books referenced in this post:

Cut the C.R.A.P. and Make the Sale, by Russ Peterson Jr.

I’ve always loved the wisdom found in a short statement. In keynote speaker terms, we call these “sticky statements.” If you’re speaking to an audience and you make a statement that causes everyone to write it down, you just gave them a sticky statement.

As we’ve brought the first quarter of 2018 to a close and we look toward the remaining 75% of the year, I have one question for you…

How’re you doing?

It’s a fair question. It’s a good question. I’m guessing you may have been like me back in January, full of excitement and hope for the new year. I had my New Year’s Resolutions locked and loaded and ready to take on the world. Then, the whirlwind happens. You get caught up in the day to day list of tasks that need to be completed. We become busy but not necessarily productive.

This can be a killer for any leader because it affects the entire team. Leaders have to be time travelers and live in two different time zones. The leader must always have the vision for tomorrow. You know the goal and you know where you’re taking the team.

What about today?

But then you also need to live in today… in the present. Work can only get done in the present. If you only focus on the vision of tomorrow, the work of today will never get done. Failure to recognize this will turn visions into dreams. Dreams with no chance of ever becoming reality.

To keep us all focused on our visions for 2018 and the work we need to get done today, here are 21 of my favorite inspiring quotes to keep us all moving.

Have a GREAT rest of the year!

Best,
Russ

“ Things no one sees creates results everyone wants. —CRAIG GROESCHEL

“ People buy into the leader before they buy into the vision. —JOHN C. MAXWELL

“ Capital isn’t scarce; vision is. —SAM WALTON

“ Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny. —C.S. LEWIS

“ The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight but no vision. —HELEN KELLER

“ Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality. —WARREN G. BENNIS

“ There is no best; there’s always a better. —KEVIN KARSCHNIK

“ The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader adjusts the sails. —JOHN C. MAXWELL

“ Work on tomorrow after you debrief today. —CHRIS HODGES

“ The decision to lead is a decision to change. —RUSS PETERSON JR.

“ A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves. A call to become something more. —ROSABETH MOSS KANTER

“ If you are working on something exciting that you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you. —STEVE JOBS

“ We will steer where we stare. —LYSA TERKEURST

“ Vision without execution is hallucination. —THOMAS EDISON

“ The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. —NELSON MANDELA

“ Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction. —JOHN F. KENNEDY

“ No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself or get all the credit for doing it. —ANDREW CARNEGIE

“ Leadership is about vision and responsibility, not power. —SETH BERKLEY

I was driving and listening to the radio (KLOVE) when a song by Mercy Me started. It gripped me from the opening line. “Dear younger me, where do I start?…” The song itself is powerful and it made a lasting impression on me because it made me think. I’m 30 years out of high school and 26 out of college now. What would I say to my younger self if I could write a letter back in time to me?

As I thought about this question and my sales career, I started taking notes. Not that my advice will apply directly to you, but here are five things I’d want to tell myself when I began my professional sales career.

Perfection is a direction, not a destination.

Making decisions early in my career I wanted to prove myself. The best way I thought to do that was to never be wrong. I wanted every decision to be the right decision. But that also meant, I didn’t make decisions until I had done all my homework. With research to back it up, I’d make sure I knew everything about everything before making a decision.

When I was overlooked 3 times for a promotion and my peers were given promotions, I was shocked at first. “How can they promote those guys when they don’t even do their homework before making decisions like I do!”

Then it became clear… Peter Drucker was right when he said, “You’ll never have 100% of the information before you make a decision.” I was waiting too long to make my decisions. I wanted the information to be perfect so there would be zero chance of being wrong. But that’s not where sales leaders live.

Lesson:  Be prepared to make decisions even when you don’t have 100% of the information.

Nothing improves until something changes.

About 10 years after graduating college my sales career was being put to the test. I was being asked to chase bigger and more complex deals. That’s when I found the sales book, Hope is Not a Strategy: The 6 Keys to Winning the Complex Sale  by Rick Page. The book was good, but the title was even better!

This book prompted me to learn more and improve my professional selling skills. I began by asking our Sales Manager for a list of the biggest deals closed by our company over the past 12 months. Then I contacted each of the Business Development Managers who won those deals. I asked them a simple question, “What was the key to success for you in winning that deal?”

If I didn’t change my approach to selling, I knew I’d continue to find the same small deals instead of winning the larger, more complex sales. I had to be humble myself and admit I don’t know nearly as much as these other sales reps. I needed to learn from them!

Lesson: When you want your situation to improve, find something to change.

Positive thinking doesn’t work.

If it did, none of us would still be looking for answers! If all it took was positive thinking, then most of the troubles in your life would be gone. We’ve all tried it and yet we still fail. Now don’t get me wrong. I firmly believe what Zig said when he told us positive thinking is always better than negative thinking. But, I’ve come to realize, positive thinking alone doesn’t get you there.

“ Positive thinking won’t help you do anything. But it will help you do everything better than negative thinking will! —ZIG ZIGLAR

According to research by Russ Harris, author of The Confidence Gap: A guide to overcoming fear and self-doubt, hanging on to positive thoughts doesn’t magically improve your situation. In fact, it could end up hurting you in the long run. But, the good news is that neither will negative thinking. The best way to manage our thoughts is to recognize all our thoughts (good and bad) as just that… thoughts! Then, release them and let them drift away. Don’t allow either to become your identity!  Zig has words of wisdom on this too.

“ Failure is an event, not a person. —ZIG ZIGLAR

Lesson: When you fail, seek to understand why you lost. When you win, find out why you won. Either way, you gain knowledge. Success or failure are events, not people!

It will never get easier…

But you’ll get STRONGER! I love this one. You’ve probably heard that if you practice enough, eventually it’ll get easier… not exactly! You actually become stronger. The task hasn’t changed one bit. It is still the exact same task. What has changed is your ability to deal with the situation.

The first time I delivered a professional presentation was the summer of 1991 and it did not go well. I realized then I had to do something to improve my public speaking or my professional career would not be a very successful one. Since that day, I’ve been a student of communication. I read, study, and observe as much as I can about communication.

Now I’m blessed with opportunities to speak to large and small audiences all around the world. (As I write this… next week for me is… Korea!) The challenge of presenting to audiences hasn’t gotten any easier, and in some cases, the challenge is even more difficult. But, I can honestly say, I’m not the same person I was back in 1991. I’ve gotten stronger.

Lesson: Once you decide to make changes to improve, don’t expect the task to get easier. But, you can expect your abilities to get stronger!

Success is easy to define.

Stop comparing yourself to others. That’s not how you measure success. The tricky part about success is that you need a measuring stick. Success has to be compared to a standard. How can you call something a success unless you can compare it to the standard and measure against it? In sales, we call it your quota. Easiest way to measure the success of a sales professional… did you exceed quota?

Comparing yourself to others is a dangerous game and the enemy loves to use it. Why is comparison such an attractive tool for the enemy to use? Because, there is always someone else with more. Achieving goals (like your quota, KPIs, objectives, etc.) is a requirement in business and we should all work hard to achieve them.

But, I’ve learned to be careful with associating my identity as a success or a failure based on an arbitrary number (i.e. quota) handed down to me by the corporate sales office. My belief on personal success is measured against core values. If you live your life in alignment with your core values, you’re living a successful life… but don’t let that be an excuse NOT to hit your quota… now go crush it!

Lesson: Strive to achieve your goals, but your true success can only be found in living out your core values daily.

If you could write a letter to your younger self… what would you say?

Share your thoughts with everyone!

Best,

It’s Wednesday and I’m in St. Louis getting some work done in my hotel room before I speak this afternoon for my customer. When I opened my Blogging Dashboard I noticed something… this is my 100th weekly blog post. That’s two years, almost 100,000 words, and the equivalent of two published books. I paused for a minute as it sank in and I actually said “Wow.”

When I first started blogging two years ago I wasn’t sure exactly how it would all go. What would I write about each week? Would anyone really read it? Would anyone really care? Would it really be helpful to anyone? Without knowing the answers to any of them, I decided to just start at the encouragement of my dear friend Cynthia.

I’ve learned a lot in 25 years of communication and I’ve also learned a lot over the past 2 years of blogging. Here’s four lessons I’ve pulled from this experience.

4 Leadership Lessons for us all…

1. It’s a conversation not a research paper

Talk to people when you communicate, don’t just share research. This applies to Sales Professionals and Leaders too. When you’re speaking to your prospective customer or the team you lead, they want you to communicate with them conversationally.

Don’t do the “show up and throw up” method of dumping data on them. Sure there needs to be a logical reason for making a decision, but they want to be engaged in conversation, not “sold an idea.” Be genuine, be real, and focus on what they need from you… then give it to them!

2. Do it for love

The past two years of blogging has not always been easy. There were times I was filled with self-doubt and I questioned what I was doing. But then, with almost divine perfect timing, I’d get one comment from one person, totally unprompted… “I read your post this week and it helped me with a  conversation that day! Keep it up!”

You’ve all heard this tip before. We will find happiness when we find the work we love. But how do we find that? Here’s a hint… find your work by focusing on how it helps others. You’ll find more joy when you believe in the “why” behind your work. Let your love for others drive your love for the work. Focus on the “why” not the “what” of your work.

“ You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want. —ZIG ZIGLAR

3. Leadership is about relationships, not goals

True leaders know you can’t get everything done on your own. Even with my small blog site, I’ve had to leverage multiple relationships to gather research, obtain guidance, ask for feedback, and request input. (To all of those who have provided input to me over the past two years I am thankful!)

If you want to achieve a goal, whether you’re an individual contributor or a leader, always remember… Goals are achieved through people. So, focus on your relationships first and your goals second.

4. There’s always more to learn; never stop learning

With my first few blog posts I expected to write about what I already knew from my past experience. In the first 100 posts, I’ve probably written equally about past knowledge and something new I’d just learned! No matter what your title is or where you are in your career, there’s always something else you can learn.

The goal for learning more is so you can share more. If you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backwards. There is no standing still. Don’t learn for personal gain, learn so you can share with others. Think of yourself as a pipeline, not a jar. The knowledge and learning should flow through you to connect and teach the next generation. Don’t let it fill up and stop with you!

Whether you know it or not, people are watching you and learning from you.

What Did You Like?

Based on your reader comments, online shares, and web-page visits, here are the top 8 posts from the first 100 articles.

1. The Authenticity Manifesto
2. Four Ways to Visually Engage Your Audience
3. How to Leverage the Power of “Different”
4. Four Ways to Truly Know the People You Lead
5. Five Reasons Why Stories Are Better than Data
6. Three Steps for a Leader to Create Change
7. One thing you can do this year to improve your influence
8. How the Best Leaders Make Change Stick

Thank you!

Thank you all for being a part of my life over the past two years and THANK YOU for reading and engaging. Please let me hear from you if I can ever help. If you’ve got a suggestion on what to write about or if you need to challenge my thinking, I hope you’ll reach out and connect.

My prayer for you all is better communication for stronger relationships leading you to true joy.

Best,
Russ

Let’s connect on Twitter if we haven’t already?

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iSpeak teaches workshops on Professional Selling to help sales leaders gather the most important data and then use that information to create the right message. Are your sales presentations closing eyelids or deals?

Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

We were presenting our quarterly sales updates to our executives and most of us were not looking forward to it. No matter how well your quarterly numbers were, it always seemed like an interrogation. Afterwards I felt like one salesperson got off easy because he didn’t get any tough questions. Later I found out from my manager that wasn’t the case.

While I only heard the executives ask this person a few simple questions about numbers or why something happened, the rest of us were grilled on the next steps for projects, the best growth options we saw for our accounts, and where we saw our relationship expansion opportunities. Not long after that, the one salesperson who received zero tough questions was downsized and let go.

I found out from my manager the salesperson was doing very little to expand his accounts and the executives only trusted him with delivering data, but not with making decisions that could affect the future direction of the account. I came to realize there are 3 types of questions people tend to ask. Each question type tells you how you’re perceived by your audience.

3 Types of Questions Audiences Ask

You can prepare for your next presentation by focusing on the three types of questions you might get asked. While this will help you prepare for your presentation, it will also help you figure out how your audience currently perceives you.

Factual Questions

These questions are focused on data you have but the audience doesn’t. If the audience’s questions never go beyond data recall, it may indicate the audience is not comfortable asking you for analysis or recommendations for the future. In some cases, it could mean the audience thinks future decisions are reserved for more qualified individuals.

Some examples of factual questions:

• When did the servers first start triggering alerts?
• What phase is your deployment team in right now?
• Who did you put in charge of that project?
• How long did it take for the marketing team to get it done?

“ The important thing is not to stop questioning. —ALBERT EINSTEIN

Analytical Questions

These questions reveal an audience perception of you as a good source for historical data and as an expert in analyzing that data. Your answers to these questions show you can analyze data and deduce what happened. It shows your ability to find a root cause for something. You’re seen by the audience as an expert in your field.

You have the ability to explain why something happened. Your audience sees you as an investigator with the ability to look at clues to create a narrative. You can analyze the past and share your discoveries.

• Why would the database cluster fail over like that?
• What motivated you to do it that way?
• How did the delay from our vendor affect your team?
• Why did you invest so much in the Alpha Project?
• What was the reason your team sales spiked so high this quarter?

“ The best sales questions have your expertise wrapped into them. —JILL KONRATH

Predictive Questions

The reason why we study the past is to help us predict the future. If we can predict the future, we can better control it and prepare for it. Once data is gathered and analysis has been performed, the next logical question type is future-oriented.

When you’re able to answer predictive questions it shows the audience your ability to use logic, analysis, and speculations to choose a path forward. This also shows leadership. Your audience sees you as someone who can use information from the past to create a better tomorrow.

• How do we use this information to adjust our path forward?
• What do you recommend?
• What would you do different next time?
• Where do you see the greatest potential for the Mid-West Region?
• So, where do we go from here?

The Real Value

You can provide the greatest value to your audience when you’re able to answer all three types of questions. As you prepare for your next presentation, spend some time considering what your audience may ask you in each of these three areas. Then, make sure you are prepared to answer them all. When your audience is asking you all three types of questions, you know you’re on the right track.

All the best,
Russ

Let’s connect on Twitter if we haven’t already?

OR Let’s connect on LinkedIn.

OR Let’s connect via my Facebook page!

OR You can get my weekly Blog Post here.

iSpeak teaches workshops on Professional Selling to help sales professionals gather the most important data and then use that information to align the right message. Are your sales presentations closing eyelids or deals?

FREE Coming Soon… The Corporate Ovations Self-Study online video training… stay tuned!

Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

This week I finished a book on my flight back from Seattle. The Like Switch is by retired FBI Agent Dr. Jack Schafer. I love reading about people who use communication skills to navigate tense situations. I can’t think of a more tense situation than international espionage! Dr. Schafer shared tactics used by the FBI to gain access to others by genuinely befriending these individuals.

While I still think I’d make a pretty good spy, I don’t think I could actually keep up with Tom Cruise if the Mission Impossible movies are what field work looks like. I’d probably be the guy back at the lab reviewing transcripts of recorded conversations.

“ Be likable. People tend to help people they like. —DR. JACK SCHAFER

One interesting method I learned from Dr. Schafer’s book was the friendship formula. While he may have applied it to approach foreign nationals about spying, we can all use this (and we already do!) to make new friends and to develop stronger friendships.

The Four Methods for Making Friends

Proximity

According to Dr. Schafer, it is easiest to make friends when we are in close proximity to other people on a regular basis. One fascinating aspect of this technique is the projection of good feelings we will attribute to others. In other words, when someone experiences an endorphin rush from a fun experience (exercising, a 10k race, watching an exciting movie, competitive sport, watching sports, etc.) we will subconsciously attribute the positive feeling to the people we are with.

As a spy, Schafer said that agents who were assigned a target would make it a habit to be seen in certain areas where the target would frequent. I don’t recommend stalking potential friends in a creepy way. But, we should think about how we can make an effort to socialize with others in person. In other words, put down the technology communication tool and have a go0d ol’ fashioned face-to-face conversation with someone.

Frequency

The more frequently we associate with someone, the more comfortable we become with that person. Of course, this is assuming the two of you are both friendly to be around! The more often you visit with someone, the closer the relationship becomes. This sounds like common sense and it’s definitely simple… but it isn’t always easy.

We’re all busy these days and we don’t always have margin in our calendar to sit and visit with others. If we aren’t able to make the effort to create time in our schedule for others, we can expect the friendship will not flourish as much as it could.

Duration

I think this one boils down to getting comfortable with someone. Not necessarily rocket science, but it makes sense. If you’re able to spend quality time with another person instead of always making them feel like you’re in a rush, your friendships will become stronger.

“ Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. —BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

While in some cases I can agree with Benjamin Franklin, it’s also obvious that quality time with someone usually means dedicating more time. The best conversations aren’t measured in seconds.

Intensity

Dr. Schafer’s basic premise here focuses on the intensity of the interactions you have with someone. For example, when two people survive a life-threatening ordeal, they often develop life-long friendships. I’m not suggesting you choreograph an avalanche-survival hiking trip with someone you’d like to know better.

Schafer points out that even watching an adventure survival movie with another person can give the intensity needed to feed the friendship. Mild experiences like doing a skydiving excursion or zip-lining adventure with someone, can foster stronger ties with them.

Another method of increasing intensity is a willingness to wade into the deep end of conversations. If you’ve known someone for awhile but don’t feel like your friendship is as strong as it could be, consider asking questions about core values when you have the right amount of time and the best environment.

The Golden Rule of Friendship

All four of these can be summarized into what Dr. Schafer calls the golden rule of friendship. This golden rule says that we like people who make us feel good about ourselves. If we use all four of these methods properly, we can help others feel good about themselves.

When we have a true friendship we cherish, it tends to be more about serving and supporting the other person. Through that mutual support and care for each other, lifetime friendships will enrich our lives.

The richest lives are secured with the ties of friendship.

I’m gonna go spend some time with my friends,
Russ

Let’s connect on Twitter if we haven’t already?

OR Let’s connect on LinkedIn.

OR Let’s connect via my Facebook page!

OR You can get my weekly Blog Post here.

iSpeak teaches workshops on Professional Selling to help sales professionals gather the most important data and then use that information to align the right message. Are your sales presentations closing eyelids or deals?

FREE Coming Soon… The Corporate Ovations Self-Study online video training… stay tuned!

LAST CHANCE TO DOWNLOAD THIS E-BOOK!

I’m removing this eBook link. If you’d like to get your free copy, please download before November 1st, 2017.

I collected over 80 quotes that give me inspiration as a salesperson and leader. I hope they bring you some inspiration as well. Get my FREE eBook on Sales and Leadership Inspiration.

Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

Last week we looked at the 7 Deadly Sins in Conversations. Rather than just avoiding those 7 to be a better conversationalist, we’ll look at the 5 virtues of outstanding conversationalists. If we can all focus on these 5 when we’re blessed by someone else’s company, the relationship will prosper because of it. Just as I said last week, I’m no saint with avoiding the 7 deadly sins or fulfilling the 5 virtues… but I’m gonna keep on trying. It’s worth it.

If I want to build trust, what should I do?

If you find yourself guilty of the 7 deadly sins of conversation, here are 5 virtues you can implement to become a better conversationalist and build stronger relationships with others.

Virtue #1: Listening more than talking

Both leaders and sales professionals can benefit from listening more than talking. While numerous studies have been done to show others appreciate when we allow them to speak, SalesHacker found that the top sales professionals had the highest ratio of listening (43%) to talking (57%.)

In addition, Randy Conley says in his leadership blog, “Listening shows you care for people and is a critical component of building trust.” As Patrick Lencioni points out, with trust as the critical foundation for leaders and sales professionals to build upon, what better reason do you need for listening to others more than just giving them your thoughts?

“ Trust is knowing that when a team member does push you, they’re doing it because they care about the team. —PATRICK LENCIONI

Virtue #2: Asking open-ended follow-up questions

When I teach a sales communication workshop, of course, we’ve got to have some role-play! When I’m listening to the mock conversations I hear the sales person ask questions but the vast majority of them are closed questions. In other words, they ask for a specific piece of information and then continue their line of questioning. While this method is the fastest path to a destination, it also invites doubt and suspicion from the other person because they feel like they are being led somewhere. Here are some examples of the closed questions I hear from salespeople and leaders:

• Did you know…?
• You like getting things done on time, right?
• Was this what you expected?
• Did you already speak to Janna?
• When are you scheduling the planning meeting?

These questions are great for gathering specific data, but when someone receives too many, they feel like they’re being interrogated! Open questions usually begin with how…, why… or sometimes what…. These questions can’t be answered with a simple one or two word response. If you will phrase your questions so they must be answered with a story you’ll usually find more than you anticipated and you’ll build much stronger relationships.

“ My greatest strength as a consultant is to be ignorant and ask a few questions. —PETER DRUCKER

Virtue #3: Showing empathy when listening

Life is tough. It’s tough on all of us. When someone needs to talk, we should be willing to listen with an empathetic ear. Empathy means that we listen and relate to their situation. Even if you’re tempted, don’t allow yourself to respond in kind with your own hardships. Remember, it’s not a contest and you also don’t want this to turn into a pity party. Listen to this person. Then, let him/her know they’ve been heard.

“ Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another. —UNKNOWN

Virtue #4: Listening without solving

From my own experience, I think men are more guilty of this than women, but we all do it. As we listen to someone’s dilemma, we immediately start to solve the problem. When we do this, our questioning turns to data gathering instead of empathetic questions. “Who did you talk to? When did that start? What have you tried so far? Have you thought about doing this…?” These problem-solving questions make a person feel even more inadequate.

In other words, what they hear in their mind is something like, “If you’d have been a little bit smarter… like me, you wouldn’t be in this mess you’re in today.” You don’t always need to put on the “Mr./Ms. Fix It” Hat. Sometimes people just need to be heard. So let them talk it out. I’ve learned this well after 23 years of marriage. Sometimes my wife just needs me to listen.

“ Honey, I just need you to listen right now. —THE LOVELY AND TALENTED, MRS. PETERSON

Virtue #5: Listening without judgement

When you question to draw out someone’s beliefs and opinions, they know they’re exposing themselves to risk if they respond. The risk is that you will vehemently disagree with their statements and judge them as “less than” you. When someone opens up to offer their own personal opinion, you don’t have to agree with them, but you should listen without judgement.

Remember you don’t have to respond to them as if you’re stepping into battle. Acknowledge their opinions as different than your own, but don’t allow the opinion to be confused with the person. You can dislike the opinion but that doesn’t mean you have to dislike the person.

Then if you really want to wade into the deep end of the pool, question their statement to understand where this belief originated. “How did you come to that conclusion?” or “I’m still on the fence. How did you decide on your stance?” or even, “Where does that belief come from?”

“ Diversity: The art of thinking independently together. —MALCOLM FORBES

What advice do you have for better listening? Leave your comments here or send me an email.

All the best,
Russ

Let’s connect on Twitter if we haven’t already?

OR Let’s connect on LinkedIn.

OR Let’s connect via my Facebook page!

OR You can get my weekly Blog Post here.

iSpeak is the winner of FOUR American Business Awards for our Sales Training Programs.

Coming Soon… I’m working on getting you all free access to our Corporate Ovations online Video training… stay tuned!

I collected over 80 quotes that give me inspiration as a salesperson and leader. I hope they bring you some inspiration as well. Get my FREE eBook on Sales and Leadership Inspiration.

Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

First of all, please hear me, I’m no saint and I know it. What you’re about to read in this article, I’m guilty of them all and I know it. But one thing I also know about me… I’m an observer. It’s what I do. It’s what I get paid to do! I’m a professional coach and I’m paid to observe how people communicate and then offer my professional feedback on how communication can be improved. After 25 years I’ve picked up a few things I’ve seen in myself and in those whom I’ve been privileged to coach.

From my experience the best communicators are able to develop trust and relationships with how they communicate with others. If we can avoid the pitfalls and focus on the right actions, we can build stronger relationships that stand the test of time.

“ They may forget what you said — but they will never forget how you made them feel. —CARL W. BUEHNER

Why should we care?

Because we only have two ways to build relationships with others through communication: we can use either verbal or non-verbal communication. What we say to others (verbal) has a profound effect on how other people feel and act toward us.

That’s how we build trust in our relationships. Regardless of the nursery rhyme about sticks and stones and words not hurting, it just isn’t true. How we communicate with others can have a life-changing effect on others, either good or bad. As Stephen Covey says, “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”

“ Trust is the most essential ingredient in effective communication —STEPHEN COVEY

What are the 7 deadly sins of conversation?

Whether I’m observing executives, future leaders of an organization, my family, myself, or my friends, I can’t help but do what I do. I’m a coach and my career is built upon observing how people communicate with each other. Here’s what I’ve observed in conversations where one person leaves the conversation feeling either ignored, devalued, or unappreciated.

1.  Make every conversation topic about themselves

You know the type. Every time someone tells a story, this guy has to turn the conversation back to himself. This is also the person that asks a baited question just so they can tell their own story. “So how did you break your leg?” As soon as the person starts to tell their story about the broken leg, this guy responds with the story about his own broken leg 4 years ago. When this person hears another person talking about any topic they share in common, he will immediately jump into his own story.

2.  Interrupt and don’t let them finish

Sometimes people start listening to a story, only to interrupt with something completely off-subject. One person begins telling a story and then she interrupts with, “Before the waitress comes back, what do you think I should order… the mojito or the moscow mule? Oh wait, here she comes. I’ll just ask her which is better. Excuse me, Miss!”  After the interruption about drinks, she never acknowledges the fact that she interrupted or gives her friend the opportunity to finish the story.

“ Oh, I’m sorry! Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? —ANONYMOUS

3.  Show you’re not listening

Non-verbal language speaks volumes to others. According to Dr. Paul Ekman we are all born with an innate ability to read 7 basic facial expressions and nobody teaches this to you. We just know it from birth. We come from the factory this way. It’s fairly obvious when someone else is not totally listening. If you want to show you’re not listening, just keep replying to your text messages while you say, “Go ahead and keep talking. I can do two things at once. I’m just responding to this text while you talk.” Congratulations, you’re showing a total lack of respect and interest by not giving your full attention.

“ The art of conversation lies in listening. —MALCOM FORBES

4.  Play the “poor me” card as much as you can

If you’re constantly complaining or whining about how difficult things are for you without turning the conversation back to your conversation partner, you just sound like your fishing for empathy or sympathy. These people seem like they are playing “trophy talk” by showing how they’re life is so much more challenging than others.

“ You can be pitiful or you can be powerful, but you can’t be both at the same time. —JOYCE MEYER

5.  Try to beat their stories

We might think this one is reserved for the men and not the women, but unfortunately we are all guilty of it. If you want to show how shallow your personal self-esteem is, then just make sure you practice one-upmanship – always try to top the other person’s story. This shows a lack of humility and the desire to always place yourself on a pedestal as the winner. Whether it’s the greatest achievement or the greatest mistake, some people take pride in owning first place with every conversation. This creates a winner (as if there’s going to be a trophy!) for each conversation, but unfortunately is also creates losers.

“ Out of all the addictions in the world, attention is slowly but surely becoming one of the most dangerous. —SAAHIL PREM

6.  Never ask a question

Just keep talking about yourself and your interests and don’t bother asking any questions. Want to play a game? Next time you are in a personal conversation, count how many questions you ask the other person. Then, count how many questions they ask you. If you never ask questions about personality, preference, or opinion you’ll never move your conversations or relationships to a level three conversation.

“ Sometimes the greatest adventure is simply a conversation. —HENRY NATHAN

7.  Gossip about other people

Talking poorly about other people behind their backs is tempting because it creates allies with the people you’re gossiping with. One of the dangers with gossip is that it forces us to label someone. Simple labels are never going to be 100% accurate because we are all wonderfully complex. But, labels make life easier because we can throw a person into a labeled bucket and be done with them. (i.e. slut, idiot, cheater, loser, etc.) What I’ve found is that the best leaders talk more about ideas than people.

“ Isn’t it kind of silly to think that tearing someone else down builds you up? —SEAN COVEY

Trying to create camaraderie by allying one person in conversation against another person or group who isn’t there will ultimately lead to a lack of trust between everyone. If someone is willing to label others and gossip about them with you, it makes you wonder how they talk about you when you’re not around!

I’m no Saint…

As I said earlier, I’m no saint. I’m sure I have committed each of these 7 deadly conversation sins. I know I’m getting better at conversations and my prayer is that I continue to be sensitive to others in conversation so I can eventually eliminate these sins completely.

Tune in next week when we tackle part two of this topic… The 5 Virtues Found in the Best Conversations.

Am I the only one, or have you seen these 7 deadly sins in conversations? How did they affect the relationship? Leave your comments.

Until then,
Russ

Let’s connect on Twitter if we haven’t already?

OR Let’s connect on LinkedIn.

OR Let’s connect via my Facebook page!

OR You can get my weekly Blog Post here.

iSpeak is the winner of FOUR American Business Awards for our Sales Training Programs.

Coming Soon… I’m working on getting you all free access to our Message Builder online training… stay tuned!

I collected over 80 quotes that give me inspiration as a salesperson and leader. I hope they bring you some inspiration as well. Get my FREE eBook on Sales and Leadership Inspiration.

Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.