It was a conversation for the ages! My family and our dear friends from Dublin were all seated around their dining table in Ireland. The conversation was full of laughter, questions, tears, intrigue, and dreams. We were swimming in deep waters and we loved it. But what was it exactly that made this 3-hour conversation so memorable for everyone? It was actually quite simple…

It was just one conversation

Everyone seated around the table was engaged in one conversation the entire time. Everyone was given chance to speak and everyone was heard when they did. There were no side-bar conversations between two people seated at the table ever. It was just one conversation… and it was amazing!

Not long after returning to the United States with my family, I read an article from Michael Hyatt expressing a similar experience when he and his wife attended a dinner party. Their friend, Luci Swindoll, told everyone as they entered her home for the party, “I have only one rule… there will be only one conversation at the dinner table.”

The reason for my experience in Dublin was not obvious to me right away until I read Hyatt’s article. Then it became clear! Here are some of the benefits Michael Hyatt points out from one conversation dinners.

• It validates and honors everyone by giving all a chance to be heard
• Sets the stage for real connections
• It makes everyone feel comfortable

You can read Hyatt’s take and all 6 of the benefits he sees in his article.

What I learned about better conversations

Over the years I’ve come to understand that conversations are valued by people who value others. Relationships are developed into stronger ties through good conversation. If someone takes the time to foster great conversations, I’ve found it’s safe to assume this person also values relationships.

“ Life is better in the company of others. —RUSS PETERSON JR.

As humans, we were built to commune with others. I know some of you may be reading this and saying to yourself, “Not me. I like my alone time! I recharge when I can get away from everyone else.” I can relate to that, because I recharge my batteries through retreat. But when I think about my life, it would be meaningless without the closest relationships I have with a small number of people.

Relationships Require Presence

For me, my strongest personal relationship is with my wife. At times when I need to recharge my batteries, I may need some time by myself. I might need to read a book or take 3-mile run. But, I would not be happy living in solitude like that forever. An interesting thought I’ve heard before is the definition of when you love someone… “You want nothing more than to be in their presence.”

“ When you love someone, you’ll want nothing more than to be in their presence.

Hundreds of years ago handwritten letters kept us connected with the ones we loved. Years later the phone brought us even closer by allowing us to hear someone’s voice. Today we have tools like FaceTime and Skype to make our loved ones feel even closer. But we all know… it doesn’t replace being in the same room with someone. I experience this for myself whenever I travel overseas for my work.

Relationships are built in four ways:

• Proximity – Get together with others in person
• Frequency – Meet more often with people
• Duration – Spend quality time with others and don’t be in a rush
• Depth – Create one conversation and make it safe for others to share personal beliefs

How will you strengthen your relationships in 2018?

Thank you for allowing me into your email inbox in 2017. My hope is that you’ve been able to take some of my communication training and experiences to apply to your own situations. I’ll say this again, I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I’m always willing to share what I’ve learned.

I hope you have amazing conversations as you close out 2017 with your family and friends! I’m wishing you, your family, and your friends better communication and stronger relationships in 2018!

Happy New Year!

All the best,
Russ

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Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.