Russ Peterson Jr.Influence | Russ Peterson Jr.

Let’s connect…

iSpeak teaches workshops to help leaders put a voice to their vision. It’s about connecting with an audience and giving them what they came for.

Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. His leadership blog assists leaders in giving voice to their vision. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

The post The 2 Secrets for Building Strong and Lasting Teams first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

How and When to Use the “David and Goliath” Story Template

RPjr — Sun, 14 Apr 2019 11:02:00 +0000

Whether you’re Jewish, Christian or neither, you’ve probably heard the Biblical story of the shepherd boy destined to become a king. David was the shepherd boy who courageously accepted the fight-to-the-death challenge from the Philistine warrior Goliath, a man twice his size. It’s a classic tale of the underdog facing the champion.

If you’ve heard this story then you already know the outcome. If you haven’t heard this story, you can probably still guess how it turned out. Our shepherd boy, armed with only a few stones and a sling, was the champion of the day when he defeated the heavily armored and weaponized giant.

According to Malcolm Gladwell, in his book David and Goliath: Underdogs, misfits, and the art of battling giants, the best way to pull off the upset is to play by a different set of rules. In other words, be unconventional.

Do we truly love underdogs?

We love any story that fits the template of this classic tale. The underdog defeats the heavily favored champion! In a 2007 study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, the researchers asked 71 participants to imagine two teams.

One was described as a strong champion, most likely to win. The other was described as the underdog. With only knowing the information of who was most favored to win, participants in the study were asked who they would rather see win. The underdog was chosen in every instance.

Or, do we just despise the most likely winners?

There’s seems to be something deep inside us that makes us want to see the underdog win. Or, according to one study by the Baylor College of Medicine, maybe we like to see winners lose because we’re envious of the teams that always win. This phenomena is called schadenfreude. Homer Simpson is a great example of someone who expresses this often.

Regardless of whether it’s a love for the unlikely hero or a joy for seeing the champions struggle, you can’t deny there’s something that attracts us all to the underdog stories. Maybe it’s that we can see ourselves as the underdog in these stories?

When to use this template in business

This type of story is used by leaders to inspire. When the team has to overcome tremendous odds to be successful, they need encouragement to press on. Leaders can use a David-and-Goliath story to give them hope and inspiration. If it’s been done in the past, we can do it now!

I’m not suggesting you tell the actual David-and-Goliath story, but instead, use it as a template to show your audience that nothing is impossible. Show them how their current situation is not impossible. It can be overcome!

How do I pick a story?

The closer your story is in relation to the actual situation they’re facing, the more impact it will have on the audience. In other words, just sharing a college basketball comeback story from March Madness may be exciting, but the audience can easily dismiss the story by saying, “Yeah, but that’s basketball! This is managed IT services we’re talking about here! It’s not the same thing.”

Try to find an underdog victory story that aligns closely with the current situation your team is facing. If it’s a tough business situation where you’d like to use the story, try to find another business story similar in scope. I recommend you use Paul Smith’s book on storytelling if your looking for stories you can use.

How do I structure the story?

The key to any David-and-Goliath story is to make sure your audience can see themselves as David. The audience needs to be invited into the story if you want to generate the feeling of encouragement and inspiration.

Give the landscape and characters for the story and do this quickly! This should also include the obvious problem (Goliath) that seems impossible to overcome.
Provide the thoughts of the underdog (David) by showcasing two things:
1. The underdog’s awareness of the challenge and the insurmountable odds he/she is facing.
2. The hope and faith to try anyway. This should point directly to the reason why it is still worth pursuing.
Describe the approach used to solve the problem. What did the underdog do to approach the problem? Remember, history has proven when the underdog wins, they tend to use unconventional methods. What is the unique approach they took? It’s important that this element be something within his/her control. Do NOT let this be a product of pure luck. If it is just a lucky break, your team can easily dismiss this as a fluke which is unlikely to occur again for them.
Describe the feeling of victory and what it meant to the team. This is the part of the story that gives the audience the deep sense of satisfaction. It should generate the feeling of a tough victory earned by fighting unconventionally to overcome amazing odds.

It’s time for you to go slay that giant and inspire your team.

Until next time,

Let’s connect…

iSpeak teaches workshops on Professional Selling to help sales leaders gather the most important data and then use that information to create the right message. Are your sales presentations closing eyelids or deals?

The post How and When to Use the “David and Goliath” Story Template first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

How do you Influence When You Have Limited Authority?

RPjr — Sun, 07 Apr 2019 11:02:56 +0000

When I was young we used to find adventure on the new home sites at the end of our street. A big pile of dirt would quickly become a trophy centerpiece to do battle for the reigning title of “King of the Mountain.”

If you’ve never played it before, every person tries their best to take the hill by standing on top and fighting off the onslaught of people who are now trying to push you off. It was classic fun for a group of young boys looking for a challenge.

Of course, eventually we’d either get tired of this game or someone would get hurt so we’d switch to something less aggressive, like “Follow the Leader.” We’d argue over who gets to be the leader first (usually whomever was last king of the mountain) and we’d all line up behind him. The leader would then lead us through an adventure of climbing, jumping, or swinging from something, the more dangerous the better. Both games could keep us entertained for hours.

When I look back on those children’s games now, I can see a metaphorical perspective on how each of those games portrays an approach some leaders use to influence their teams.

King of the Mountain

In this approach to business leadership, power is taken or a strong hierarchial authority is given to one person. The leader now rules the kingdom with strong methods of persuasion. The general idea is “I’m the leader and you’re not, so you have to do what I say. You don’t get to question it or tell me what to do until you get promoted above me.”

Influence of this type will usually result in teams who perform well and get things done on time. However, the turnover on the team is much higher. In other words, this leader achieves Compliance from the team or possibly… conflict. This team gets things done but they don’t always feel very positive about it.

Methods used by these leaders are heavy-handed:

Coercion – The tactics used here could easily be identified as intimidation. Knowing he is in a position of authority, he exercises his power to intimidate others into getting something done. “Why should you do it? Because it’s your job. So, quit your whining about it and just do it!”
Consequence – Using a negative term here, you would call this a threat, plain and simple. You do it or else! A manager might lean on a team to get action by telling them about the consequence of not doing it. “If you don’t get this done by Friday at 5, I’ll be forced to write you up.”
Contract – This is when someone uses a legal contract to get what they want. Contracts serve a purpose, but when you allow all goodwill to be eroded by following the letter of the law instead of the spirit, you will get your way, but at the expense of the relationship. “According to the Work for Hire Agreement we have with you, you are liable for the entire cost overrun. We won’t pay that.”

Follow the Leader

This game only works if the followers actually follow the leader. If no one follows, as John C. Maxwell says, you’re just taking a walk! When we played this game, no one was making us follow. We actually wanted to follow. If a leader gets the team to follow because they want to follow, she’s achieving a different type of result called commitment. This is where your team is getting things done and they have positive feelings about doing it.

To exercise this type of authority with your team, the leader has usually earned it. In other words, the trust, empathy, competence has earned a higher level of credibility for the leader. The team knows she cares about them and their success. The tasks are tied to a greater purpose.

Methods used by these leaders inspire long-term movement:

Inspiration – This is best done through effective narratives and storytelling. Leaders who use this method get their team to focus on the purpose and the Why for what they do.
Relational – This method of influence is based on strong ties of credibility and trust. As we all know, building a strong level of trust takes time to develop. When teams trust that a leader is honest, wants the best for them, and has a high degree of competence, the team wants to follow.
Exchange – We all work for our wages. This is the simple example of the exchange influence. On top of salary, the leaders who instill the strongest positive feelings with exchange will offer something the team values even more than money. It could be a team party, a day off from work, small token or gift, or more of the leader’s time.

As leaders, we all want commitment from our teams but we know that takes time and is not always possible. So when something needs to get done and there is no time, we may settle for compliance. But the leaders with the most successful teams know the strong positive feelings will outperform the negatively driven teams in the long run.

I’m ready to follow the leader… who’s gonna step up?

Will it be you?
Russ

Let’s connect…

The post How do you Influence When You Have Limited Authority? first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

How the Best Coaches get the Most out of Others

RPjr — Sun, 24 Mar 2019 11:02:24 +0000

It was the final minutes of a tied game and I was in my usual varsity soccer starting position of Center Fullback watching our offense crash on the opponent’s goal. That’s when the referee blew the whistle while hoisting a yellow card to the opposing team. The other team’s Center Fullback had taken a cheap shot on my forward within the 18. Our team has a chance to win with this penalty shot! That’s when I got the call…

My coach yelled from the sidelines, “Peterson! Get up there and take that kick!” As a defender, I had rare opportunities to ever score a goal. My job was to stop others from scoring! Now please understand, I wasn’t totally without offensive ball skills, but I was just a defender. My coach knew that, but he was always encouraging. He showed his belief in me that day when he called my name for this moment.

Call it nerves or inexperience, but high and to the right didn’t win the day. I was crushed and I showed it with a fist slammed into the pitch. I left the field and my coach put a hand on my shoulder, gave me tight squeeze and direct eye contact before he said, “Next time.”

My first thought was “Whatever! There won’t be a next time! Why would you ever call on me again? I’m a defender! Why wouldn’t you just call on a forward to take that shot? There won’t be a next time.”

Coaching others to reach their potential can be difficult because we find ourselves in a balancing act of how much to demand and encourage. Nancy Darling, psychologist and parenting expert, has studied the effects of demanding and supportive approaches to coaching and the results. Her work was referenced in Angela Duckworth’s book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. The combination of the coaching demands and support can have tremendous effects on the tenacity and success of the individuals.

Demanding vs. Undemanding

I truly believe everyone performs better with a coach or trainer. Someone who can push you to give just 10% more than what you would have done on your own. Someone who will hold you accountable to a higher standard just outside your current comfort zone.

Without the discipline of commitment to reach further, you won’t improve. Remember, there’s no growth in the comfort zone and there’s no comfort in the growth zone. If you want to coach others to improve, you will need to demand change, outside their comfort zone, and they must be held accountable to that standard.

Remember “Facing the Giants” and how Coach Taylor pushed Brock to achieve more than he ever thought possible? First, Coach blindfolded Brock and asked him to put his faith in the Coach. Then Coach Taylor became the greatest encourager you could imagine. Demand more and encourage. It’s a powerful scene.

Supportive vs. Unsupportive

Demanding more from others without support can be detrimental. We all need support when we struggle or we will give up too soon. Demands without support is an authoritarian relationship, just making demands and telling them to figure it out. “Suck it up, Buttercup!”

If you are former military and flashing back to boot camp, you’ve been on the receiving end of these types of demands. But even in Navy SEAL training, some of the toughest physical, mental and psychological testing anywhere, the SEALS are taught to never go it alone. They learn the importance of supporting each other.

While they have a demanding coach wanting more from them, they find their coaching support in each other, and that’s by design. The Navy wants them to become reliant on their brothers. They are either with one buddy or a SEAL team for each part of the training. They learn how they can endure much more than they ever thought possible when they have the support of their team.

My Coach’s Encouragement…

For the next two weeks my soccer coach’s favorite two words to me at every practice were, “Next time.” I heard it so much I was determined to practice my penalty shots until I couldn’t get them wrong. Before practice or after I was taking shot after shot. I had lost faith in myself, but he believed in me.

That Friday night at our next game, our forward was slide tackled from behind within the 18 and once again the whistle blew for a penalty shot. I couldn’t help but look to the sidelines wondering if my coach was all talk or if he truly believed in me.

“Peterson! Get up there!”

This time was different. No nerves, just the same kick I’d practiced hundreds of times over the past two weeks. It wasn’t the game-winning goal, but it will always be the most memorable goal for me. It was because of a coach who wouldn’t let me stop believing in myself. He demanded much more from me in practice and he encouraged me even when I didn’t believe in myself.

As a coach, you will demand disciplined effort from others, but also give them support when they don’t feel like they can go on. It’s the coach’s job to see the potential in others even when they can’t see it in themselves. Coaches bring out the best in others through a blend of discipline and encouragement.

I challenge each of you who take up the mantle of coaching to never sacrifice on your demands but always be the first to support them when they miss the goal.

Still pushing myself to be a better coach,

Let’s connect…

The post How the Best Coaches get the Most out of Others first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

Are You One of the 4 Types of Speakers we Love?

RPjr — Sun, 10 Mar 2019 11:02:03 +0000

You’ve just been promoted to a management position and you will be transferred to a new location. The people on your new team are new to you and you are new to them. How can you possibly connect with this group?

This is the daily struggle for every leader. How can I connect with my team better? Leaders help groups move to new locations, but that will never happen if the leader has no connection with the audience.

As a speaker, if you can build a strong connection with the audience, you’ll have more leadership influence with the group.

The Key is Influence

John C. Maxwell has summarized leadership into one word… influence. Remember, influence has a noble purpose, not a self-serving purpose. The negative side of influence is called manipulation. It’s selfish and pure evil. We’re talking about the noble skill of leadership influence.

Influence is not about what the leader wants personally. It’s about what the team needs. Here are four methods Maxwell has presented as bridges we can all build to connect with others.

1. What you know

Do you remember the game show called “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” In that trivia game show, if you didn’t know the answer, you could use a life line and phone a friend. From the show, you could tell the host who you’d like to call for help on the question. Then, they would ring up your friend so you could ask the question.

When people need advice or guidance, they call upon people who have a knowledge they don’t. When speaking to a team you may have advanced training and knowledge or you may have received information from the executives and they want to know it. Either way, when you know information the team wants and needs, they will connect with you and seek your input or advice.

2. What you’ve done

Imagine if you were attending an industry conference and the breakout sessions were about to begin. There were 2 speakers speaking in different breakout rooms at the same time. You obviously can’t be in two places at once, so you’re being forced to pick just one. Choose wisely because you will never get to hear the other. Who will you pick?

The first speaker is a great speaker. Delivery is impeccable, great tone in the voice, little bit of humor, and uses the stage effectively. Not sure about the content she’s talking about, but she is guaranteed to have a great delivery.

The second speaker is not nearly as good on the stage. That’s a fact because he’s not a professional speaker. But,he’s just returned from being stranded on a desert island in the Pacific after a shipwreck. He was trapped on the island all alone for 7 weeks. He’s going to speak about his physical, mental and emotional struggles.

I’m guessing 9 out of 10 of you would rather hear the Robinson Crusoe speaker! Why? Because of what he’s done. When people have had struggle experiences we have not, we want to learn from them. It creates a connection.

This isn’t about bragging to others. It’s about recognizing if you have something of value you can share with others to help them move further down the road and avoid some of the issues you’ve had to endure.

3. What you can do

One of our instructors once had a student in class mention he could do a back flip. Seriously! From a standing position in the classroom, he said he could do a full back flip. What do you think the next comment was from another student? You guessed it. “Do it!”

But before he did, someone else asked, “How did you learn to do that?” The student told his back story of always challenging himself. He came up with the idea to learn a back flip and committed himself to doing it. He recruited a friend to come over and spot him and after many bruises and attempts, he did it! The moral? Find your next challenge, recruit help from others, and commit to overcoming it!

When others know we are capable, they may want to leverage our skill set in the future. If you are willing and able to help others with a skill you have, they will want to connect with you. Use your skills to help others, not so you can expect something in return. Do it because it aligns with your core value for serving others. Which leads us to the 4th method of connection…

4. How you’ve lived

This is all about your values. It’s so true that words are cheap. I’m sure we’ve all experienced the pain of hearing a friend say the right things and then act in a completely different or inappropriate manner. It’s the source of the expression, “Actions speak louder than words.”

People like Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Jesus… all lived lives of sacrifice. If we had the opportunity to have a conversation with an any of these people, we would want to listen! We appreciate strong core values, worthy of admiration, but even more than that… we appreciate someone who has lived out the values they preach.

Know your values and live in alignment with them. It sounds so simple. I’m willing to admit… I’m still working on doing just that.

A challenge for all of us… use the 3 steps from last week’s conversation tool and let’s combine it with living out our core values. Then, let’s start building stronger connections and relationships with the ones we serve and love.

Until next week…

Let’s connect…

The post Are You One of the 4 Types of Speakers we Love? first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

How to Become More Likable in 3 Simple Steps

RPjr — Fri, 01 Mar 2019 19:11:16 +0000

When was the last time you had a great conversation with someone? I’m serious. Think about the last time because I want you thinking about that conversation as you continue to read today’s blog. We will review the 3 elements that make a great conversation and you can see if they showed up in that last conversation.

Are You Ready?

So here’s the first part we all need to agree on… just because you thought it was a great conversation, doesn’t mean the other person did too. Can we all agree on that? Yep, I’m willing to admit it too. Sometimes I love a conversation with someone and then later realize the other person may not have felt the same way.

Why would I think that? Because looking back on that conversation, I didn’t do these three things and my conversation partner did! So while I may have enjoyed the conversation, my partner most likely did not.

The Research

Don’t worry, I’m not going into professor-lecture mode, I promise. Just a quick note on where these 3 steps originated. Much research has been done by social psychologists on how we communicate with each other and the effects our communication has on each other.

One interesting study was conducted by several researchers at Harvard, led by Karen Huang. The study wanted to extend previous research done by others on something called “responsiveness” which to you and me really just means “likability.”

Their question was two-fold, First, they wanted to know if asking follow-up questions would increase likability. Of course, you and I immediately think, “Really? they had to research this?” But of course, they had their hunches too. They just wanted scientific measurement and proof. What may be even more interesting was the second question they wanted to answer.

Second, if it is true, and it certainly seems like common sense that it would be true, then why is it that some people participate in conversations without ever asking a question of the other person? If it’s common sense, shouldn’t we all be pretty good at this?

The Three Steps To Better Conversations

I’m calling this better conversations because if both parties in the conversation do these three things, the research study proves they will both enjoy the conversation and ultimately enjoy each others’ company even more.

First Step: Understanding

People like to be understood, but for them to be understood, the other person needs to be a good listener. There’s a lot of info out there on how to be a good listener, but I’ll keep the focus on this research study, which focused on questions.

How can you show the other person you want to understand them? It’s simple… ask them a question so they can express their thoughts, opinions and feelings. Don’t just ask a question about facts and data.

Ask this…

“How did y’all pick Antigua for your anniversary trip?” (This question allows the other to express their opinion on a choice.)

Not this…

“When are you going on vacation?” (This question is too closed. The answer will be a fact, not an opinion.)

Second Step: Validation

When do people feel better in a conversation? It’s when your conversational partner validates your opinion, thought, or feeling. Think about your own conversation I asked you to come up with at the beginning. Someone most likely asked you a question. You expressed your thoughts or opinion. Then what happened?

Did they validate your opinion? Everyone’s entitled to an opinion and even if they have a different one, did they validate yours? When someone confirms your thoughts, feelings or actions, we feel comfortable and safe in the conversation.

Please don’t think I’m asking you to agree with everyone on everything just to make friends. I’m simply asking you to confirm the other person has an opinion. The research suggests we like to know someone else has heard us and they validate our line of thinking… even if they disagree.

Say this…

“That sounds like an amazing place to visit.”

Not this…

“Antigua? That place is crazy expensive! Why would you go there? You would’ve been better off going to Jamaica.”

Third Step: Caring

The final step is to show the other person you care about what they’ve shared. What’s the easiest way to do that? Ask a follow-up question.

The research study found that when someone not only asks you one question, but then asks a follow-up question based on the answer you’ve given, you’ll feel more like the other person truly cares about you and your responses.

Unfortunately, in many cases, that doesn’t happen. Instead, the person hears your answer to the first question and then immediately turns the story back to himself/herself based on what you said.

Say this…

“Where did you go for your anniversary trip?” (Response: “We went to Antigua.”)

“That sounds amazing. What was the best part?”

Not this…

“Where did you go for your anniversary trip?” (Response: “We went to Antigua.”)

“I’ve never been there. We usually go to the Bahamas. You can get to the Bahamas easily with the direct flights from Atlanta.”

The Blind Spot

And this brings us to the second finding in the research study, which I find even more interesting. It’s a natural blind spot we all share. While it seems like common sense that asking questions, validating responses, and asking follow-up questions will increase your likability, most of us are blind to that fact and we don’t do it.

In other words, when we dominate conversations with talking about ourselves instead of asking questions, we don’t even realize we’re doing it!

Ouch.

The Bottom Line

It’s a simple 3-step process we can all use to get better at conversations:

Ask a question to UNDERSTAND the other person or their situation
VALIDATE what they tell you as a legitimate opinion, even if you personally don’t agree with them.
Ask them a follow-up question to show you CARE about them and what they’re telling you.

As simple as these steps sound, I’ll be the first to admit it. I still need practice implementing them! I leave some conversations and realize I dominated the conversation and didn’t ask nearly enough questions about the other person. But, I can always work on it.

See you next week,

Let’s connect…

The post How to Become More Likable in 3 Simple Steps first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

A Simple Template to Create a Persuasive Message…

RPjr — Sun, 06 Jan 2019 11:02:26 +0000

It was the start of the day and I had just asked my Storytelling class what they wanted to learn today. The Sr. Manager spoke up, “I want to learn how to get people to do something.” As a coach myself, I couldn’t help but respond with…

“Can you tell me what you mean by that?” His eagerness to learn more about persuasion was both common and understandable among the leaders I’m privileged to serve. He answered me, “When we need to get something done as a team, I want to be able to use stories to help motivate them all to get it done… even if they don’t really want to do it.”

One method for persuading a group toward action is with a template I call “The Leader’s Lesson” where the focus is on two key areas:

a tough situation from the past and…
an opportunity for the future.

The Leader’s Lesson Story Template

This template generates two emotions in your audience. The emotional piece is important and shouldn’t be overlooked. While we all like to think we make our decisions based on logic and data, science says otherwise. All of our decisions require a feeling element before we act upon them. In fact, Mel Robbins points out in her book The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage, that we don’t keep our New Year’s Resolutions for one simple reason… we don’t feel like doing them anymore!

So how do you get the team to do something? They will need to feel like doing it. This is why the emotional element is so critical. The first emotion focuses more on the negative side (anxiety, nervous, scared, etc.) while the second emotion focuses on the positive (inspired, intrigued, curious, empowered, etc.).

The Negative

Start with an experience from your past and then draw the audience into the story. Let them look at the tough situation through your eyes. Let them see themselves in your role. What does this sound like?

I was 2 months into my new role as Sr. Project Manager and my supplier for the 40 web servers told me he would be 6 weeks late on delivery to our data center. My project update meeting with our executive sponsors is in 20 minutes. I’m about to walk into a meat grinder…

Invite them In

Next, you invite the audience into the story by placing them in the situation. This is where they need to feel the emotion of the tough situation. What does this part sound like?

We’ve probably all been there before… What do I say in this meeting? How do I address this issue? … What would you say? How do you handle a situation like that? We all face situations like this more than we think…

Show Vulnerability and The Lesson

Next, let them know how you handled it, how you failed, and what you learned from the experience. What might this part sound like?

I started my presentation and began with an update of the bad news I had just received. I’m immediately interrupted by the COO when she says, “Stop. Where is this in your handout I have here?” I began to respond, “Well, I didn’t have time to update the handout or the slide deck so…” She interrupted again, “STOP. This meeting is over. I expect you to be prepared when you’re speaking to this group. Please come back tomorrow at the same time when you’re better prepared.” I learned a lot that day…

Share the Challenge / Opportunity

At this point, the audience understands what you learned through failure. You’ve got their attention because they’ve experienced the emotion of a stressful situation. You’ve shown your own vulnerability, which helps the audience relate to you better, and they also know how you solved the situation.

The next step is to share the current challenge or opportunity the team is facing. They need to see the similarity between the story you’ve just shared and what you learned so they’ll be open to solving it. When they know similar tough situations have been solved successfully in the past, they’re more eager to play the protagonist role of the hero in this new story. What does this part sound like?

Our current reporting situation with our customers is very similar. We don’t have a timely method for updating our project status to each of them. While they may not speak to us in the same manner as my former COO, I can imagine what they’re saying about us after we get off our weekly calls. There’s a way we can improve our project updates. We just need to find the right solution and implement it.

Inspire them to Solve It

This is where you turn the challenge over to them without solving it for them! Avoid your urge to step in and solve the issue! Don’t let the message turn into a command and control message. When the leader takes command and attempts to control exactly what the team should do next, they’ll feel less than inspired or encouraged. In social psychology of persuasion we call this compliance but not commitment! Rather than just doing it, we want them to want to do it! What does that sound like?

Imagine your next call with Acme Corporation. Imagine when they ask you for the status on a change request given to you only 15 minutes earlier. You already have it built into the project plan and you can show them exactly how it affects the delivery timelines. Think about how you’d feel after that call compared to how I felt after my meeting with the COO many years ago. I know we can fix this. Let’s see how we can make this a reality. Let me know what you come up with and we’ll discuss it next week at our team meeting.

Make it so…

Giving your audience the opportunity to solve a problem, overcome an obstacle, rise to a challenge… is motivating. It’s inspirational and it feels empowering to the audience. Remember, we can all logically agree with what we should do (eat better, exercise more, etc.) but if we don’t feel like it… it won’t get done. Help your audience feel better about their challenges when you want them to do something!

Until next week,
Russ

Let’s connect…

The post A Simple Template to Create a Persuasive Message… first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

Do You Want Your Data To Tell a Story?

RPjr — Sun, 04 Nov 2018 11:02:58 +0000

Borrow this one storytelling technique to make that happen!

What is the most exciting part of any story? What’s the one thing that creates movement in a story? How do Hollywood directors like Spielberg and Howard make it impossible to look away? They do it by creating a sense of flow in the storyline. This sense of flow can be created with many techniques, but it’s most often done with this one simple tool…

Decisions! Remember… “No Decisions = No Movement.” If there is nothing for the main character to consider or decide, then we’re really just looking at a landscape. It’s like looking at a picture or a painting of a lake with some trees. There’s no decision to be made. There’s no movement. It’s still. It could be beautiful, but there is no movement. If your goal is to create movement in the audience, then you’ve got to present more than just a beautiful landscape.

We Love the Fork In the Road

Think about it… when someone is giving you information, you’re waiting for the decision moment. If someone were to say, “I left my house around 8:30 and started driving toward town. I passed several busses, a few trucks, and some cars on my way. There had to be at least 5 stoplights I had to sit through. It was fairly cloudy too. The sun wasn’t shining at all.”

I think your eyes would be glazing over as you’re wondering, “Exactly where is this tale is going anyway?” If he stopped talking right there you’d probably respond by saying, “…and then what?” You’re waiting for something else in the story, but what is it? You’re waiting for the fork in the road! That’s the moment. That’s the catalyst you need to move this story along!

A fork in the road is the one critical moment when something unexpected happens and the main character is forced to make a decision. Stories don’t get exciting until the main character is forced to make a decision.

For us to connect with a story, we need to place ourselves in the story. As audience members, one of the most common ways we do this is by focusing on the decisions a main character is faced with. Then, we immediately start thinking, “What would I do in that situation?” NOW you’ve engaged your audience.

Make it a Tough Choice

As a speaker, you can’t just present any fork in the road and expect your audience to stay engaged. The decision to be made must be something out of the ordinary. The choice needs to be difficult. If it’s an easy answer to select, it won’t compel the audience to engage. But when it’s a tough choice, we’ll start to think, “Now… what would I do?”

Think about your next presentation. Do you want your data to tell a story? Then paint the scene with the data but take the audience to the fork in the road. This is where the decision needs to be made. What is the data telling you? Does the data present options to choose from? Which direction should we go in? What makes the most sense for our next step? What are the decisions you and the audience need to make? Why these choices? Why now? Why us?

The tougher the decision, the more compelling and engaging the message. When we have no idea what we would do and we’re waiting to see what our speaker suggests, we’re engaged!

Don’t Forget the Risk

Some of your friends are great storytellers and you love to hear them spin a yarn. Others… maybe not so much. While there are many techniques for telling better stories, presenting decisions (forks in the road) is one of the most fundamental tools and also one of the most effective. If you want to make your decisions even more compelling, make sure you expose the risk in either choice.

In other words, show the potential consequences if either of the decisions doesn’t turn out well. What is at stake here? What is the risk and what is the consequence if this choice goes South on us?

“	Choices with consequences create movement in stories.

This is what we love about movies like Die Hard, Star Wars, or Raiders of the Lost Ark. Our heroes are placed in impossible situations and they need to make a choice. What is your next move? How will you play this? What is at risk if you choose wrong? I’m reminded of C3-PO in the Star Wars movies constantly offering the odds of survival in every dire situation.

How risky is the choice to Han Solo? 34 million to 1 (nearly impossible)

What is the consequence if you choose wrong? Death

Talk about making the audience aware of the risk in a decision! We’re drawn to watch the “high-risk, high-consequence” forks in the road.

How can you apply this in business?

I’m not asking you to overdramatize your business presentations, but if you want your data to tell a story, take a lesson from Spielberg. You need to create forks in the road. What are the tough decisions in your message? Tell the audience what you decided on and where that decision took you next.

Every fork in the road… every decision to be made… when tied to the level of risk and the consequence if you’re wrong, will create movement in your stories.

Now go let your data tell a story!

Until next week…

Let’s connect…

The post Do You Want Your Data To Tell a Story? first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

It’s not WHAT you say that’s most important…

RPjr — Sun, 30 Sep 2018 11:12:57 +0000

Can you finish that sentence?

You’ve heard it plenty of times, “It’s not WHAT you say that’s most important, it’s HOW you say it.” I disagree with that statement. I don’t think the WHAT or the HOW is most important. What’s most important is “what they HEAR!”

Too often I feel like the emphasis we put on speaking skills is on the speaker without putting too much thought into the WHY behind everything we coach into a speaker. Why would we coach a speaker to do the following:

slow down when you say this line
give a pause immediately after you ask this question
make sure your eye contact lands on other eyeballs
step toward the audience when you transition to this content

Why should we care?

As a coach, why do I care if the speaker does any of these things? Why is it important? Why do I think it would be good for the speaker to implement some of these things? Why…??

If we can’t answer the why question then we shouldn’t be coaching these things into people. I think sometimes we all lose sight of this “why” and it starts to hurt our own coaching and communication. There is an answer to the why question and it’s extremely important. But we may have to ask the why question several times to get to the real answer.

Why do you want the speaker to pause after that question?

Because… it will go the audience time to think about it.

Why do you want them to think about it?

Because… it will be more engaging to the audience.

Why do you want it to be engaging to the audience?

Because… I want them to really listen to the message.

Why do you want them to listen to the message?

Because… they will need to understand this to get their work done effectively.

There it is!

There is the real benefit to the audience. The speaker speaks for the audience… always! I know the speaker showed up that day for a reason. The speaker has a goal to accomplish by speaking. But sometimes we forget the audience showed up for a reason too. Sometimes they have their own goals for attending the session.

Even if the audience doesn’t know why they showed up, they will assume they will gain something by being there. There is a benefit to them attending and you (the speaker) needs to make sure they get it. Do you want to know the secret to being one of the greatest communicators ever? It’s actually quite simple. Always give the audience what they came for!

“	Always give the audience what they came for!

You see it’s not WHAT you say that’s most important, and it’s not HOW you say it that’s most important. What’s most important is what the audience HEARS. The audience shows up for a reason.

So when it comes to you coaching yourself or others, it doesn’t take a masters degree in Neuro-Linguistic Programming to offer the best coaching. You just need to make sure you’ve answered the one question everyone in the audience has… “Why should I listen?”

Still trying to give them what they came for…

See you next week,
Russ

Let’s connect…

The post It’s not WHAT you say that’s most important… first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

5 Ways Engaging Speakers Engage You

RPjr — Sun, 26 Aug 2018 11:02:25 +0000

It's all taking place in your brain!

After the conference one of your friends poses the question, “Which keynote speaker did you like the best?” As soon as one person answers everyone else immediately jumps in and says, “YES! Me too! She was so good. Why do you suppose we all loved her so much more than the others?”

I can tell you one thing she probably did… She engaged your brain!

What exactly does “engage their brains” mean? It simply means this… keep their minds working with things they love to do. Now there are different ways to keep their minds busy. Remember, there’s a reason why reading a dictionary vs. watching the next Mission Impossible movie feels different. One of these would be difficult to do for even 10 minutes while the other can be done for over 2 hours and it seemed like 10 minutes!

So there’s got to be more to it than just keeping their brains busy. We have to look at how you’re keeping their brains busy. What are you asking their brains to do? Pick the right tasks and you can be more engaging too!

How can we engage their brains?

The best way to do this is to make the entire experience engaging! We do this by engaging different regions of their brains. Remember, don’t make these into huge engagements like the grand finale of a fireworks show. Most of these techniques are extremely subtle, but they’re still quite effective.

Here are 5 techniques you can use to engage your audience’s brains throughout your message.

1. Say the words “imagine…” or “picture this…”

I know, I know… this one sounds too simple! It’s crazy how effective this technique is with an audience. But just picture this… a speaker is on the stage. You’re in the audience listening. She pauses for a moment of silence as she looks down and away. Then her gaze comes back up to the audience and she says, “Will you all do me a favor? I want you to imagine something. Think about…”

When someone tells us to imagine, we immediately warm up our imagination to picture whatever she is about to tell us to imagine. That creative, imaginative part of our brain is quickly put to work. Creating scenery in our minds is something we’re good at and it’s something we love to do. By the way… did you see how I started this explanation by asking you to picture the speaker on stage? Engaging right?

2. Offer one line of dialogue

My manager popped his head in my office and asked me, “Hey Dave, would you have any additional headcount to support the Alpha project this quarter?”

This is an example of dialogue. When the speaker is actually quoting someone else, but they deliver it to the audience as if we’re all (audience included) hearing this line delivered for the very first time. It’s as if it’s being performed LIVE for us to relive the actual moment with the speaker. Our imaginations will create a scene in our minds as we watch the scene unfold. We construct that scene so quickly we don’t even know we’re doing it. It’s fun. It’s easy. We love doing it. It’s engaging!

3. Propose a tough question

But what happens if we invest in this upgrade and 18 months later, the software is obsolete? Is it worth the risk to save thousands next year?

Our brains love to solve problems. We love doing it on our own because we gain a sense of accomplishment, but if we can’t solve the problem on our own, we want someone to help solve it with us to remove the internal tension. Think about it. You know this is true. When someone proposes a really tough trivia question and you don’t know the answer, it can drive you crazy if you don’t know the answer. Luckily today we just turn to Google or Siri for the answer. Wa-LAH! Tension is gone! Give your audience a tough question to wrestle with to engage their problem-solving brain. Then lead them with your message to your proposed solution.

4. Generate a feeling

I’m sure you’ve heard it before. This quote is credited to Maya Angelou, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” I can prove this is true. Think about the 5 most memorable experiences in your life. I certainly hope there were more than 5, but we don’t have all day. Just pick five. Now… can you recall a feeling from each one?

Sharing stories or experiences can help generate both positive and negative feelings in your audience. They will remember how they felt when you finish speaking. As you saw in last week’s blog, we use feelings from memorable moments to reconstruct each memory. Engage them with a feeling you want them to have walking away… excitement, anxiety, fear, pride, confidence.

5. Give them candy for their 5 senses

We don’t like to just hear a story… we want to experience it! The way we experience a story in our mind is with our mind’s senses. When we hear someone talk about a loud clang or a bright flash of light, we use our mind’s ear and our mind’s eye, respectively, to internally recreate the sound or the sight. The regions of our brain that handle actual sound and sight are stimulated even when we are just imagining them through a recreation in our mind!

If you want to engage the audience’s brain, then describe parts of your story with words that will stimulate their senses.

The sandpaper feel of grandpa’s hands.
The warm sweet aroma of apples and cinnamon.
The loud tinging clash of the metal frame falling.
The salty taste of the ocean.
The yellow-orange haze of dawn over the meadow.

I’m not asking you to turn your next business presentation into story time, but I am challenging and encouraging you to stimulate their brains. The audience wants a logical presentation but they also want to love the journey.

Engage their brains!

Have a great week,
Russ

Books referenced in this post:

Corporate Ovations: Your Roadmap to More Effective Presentations, By Kevin Karschnik and Russ Peterson Jr.

Let’s connect…