I don’t want to make a series of poor choices that leads me down a dark path, (Is this my tie-in to Star Wars?). I discovered recently the difference between First Order and Second Order thinking.

The First Order

No, I’m not talking about the evil empire of the recent Star Wars trilogy. Although, I wonder if Lucas named his new Sith group “First Order” because of this cognitive thinking definition? It would certainly fit that group! Always thinking about immediate gratification instead of the long-term ramifications.

What is First-Order Thinking?

First-order thinking is short-term thinking. In other words, we only consider the immediate effects of any decision we make. As an example, if I eat that cake, my sweet tooth will be satisfied! Or… if I go to the gym, I’m going to be tired and have sore muscles.

First Order thinking puts us in a thinking category closest to the animals. (This is not a creation vs. evolution conversation… I’m simply stating a fact.) Animals don’t cognitively think about the future or consider strategic ramifications of their decisions. They simply make decisions to achieve short-term and immediate effects. What do I want right now and how can I get it right now?

Guess what? We do the same thing sometimes.

Second-Order Thinking Tool

In contrast, our ability to think further down the road about the derivative results spawned off of first-order decisions gives us more control over our future. This is called Second-Order Thinking. Of course, we don’t always do the best job of exercising this style of thinking.

To make better decisions we can use this tool to think about both the short-term and long-term results of the decision you’re about to make. This is heavy lifting for the brain. It pulls in multiple inputs and variables which could lead to a variety of potential outcomes. I’m reminded of the recent Avengers Infinity War movie where Dr. Strange played out one million potential outcomes in his mind and found only one good path forward where the Avengers could win.

That was some heavy-duty, second-order thinking!

But this tool creates a problem…

If you’re like me, then you love to play the second-order thinking game. It’s called speculation! My wife says if I were in the Avengers my super hero name would be “The Speculator” because I love to play out what-if scenarios. I prefer to think I’d be Dr. Strange, but I digress.

The problem we run into with second-order thinking is the tendency to overthink a situation and get caught in analysis paralysis. Sometimes we constantly play out scenarios to look at the potential results, but we never actually take action. That isn’t healthy or helpful. So how do we balance that? The second tool can help us!

The Tool to Force a Decision

Gen. Colin Powell is a retired 4-star general who served in the Persian Gulf War. He had a tool he used to make war-time decisions. His decisions had the greatest of ramifications (people’s lives were on the line) and they had to be made quickly.

To prevent himself from getting caught up in too much second-order thinking, he used a tool he called 40-70. He wouldn’t make a decision before having at least 40% of the information needed. He also didn’t wait to have all the possible information, he didn’t need more than 70%. In an imperfect world and with the constant change of the battlefield, he couldn’t afford to wait for more information.

If he had between 40 and 70% of the information needed for a decision, he felt he could make good decisions much faster than others.

We don’t need all the information and we don’t need perfect information, we just need a fair amount. Then we need the courage to make the call because we don’t have limitless time. So how do we finally pull the trigger? I present to you… the third tool.

20 Seconds of Courage Tool

In the Matt Damon movie, We Bought a Zoo, Damon’s character Benjamin moves his family to the country after losing his wife. The house also comes with a zoo. In one scene when Benjamin is talking to his son, he gives him advice on making decisions, “All you need is 20 seconds of courage… literally, 20 seconds of courage.”

Don’t be afraid to make that decision. It doesn’t take courage for a lifetime. It only takes 20 seconds of courage. All leadership requires courage, so don’t be surprised when you’re standing at the fork in the road and the followers are waiting on you to make your decision. Use your tools. You got this.

Tool 1: Did you consider the second-order ramifications of the decision?

Tool 2: Do you have between 40 and 70% of the information you need?

Tool 3: Can you muster 20 seconds of courage?

It’s time.

Have fun and enjoy the next 20 seconds.
Russ

Let’s connect…

on Twitter if we haven’t already?

OR Let’s connect on LinkedIn.

OR Let’s connect via my Facebook page!

iSpeak teaches workshops to help leaders put a voice to their vision. It’s about connecting with an audience and giving them what they came for.

Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. His leadership blog assists leaders in giving voice to their vision. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

Tools You Can Use

Sure, there are plenty of tips and tools you can use to help get those butterflies flying in formation, but the real secret lies much deeper inside all of us. If you’d rather just start with the tools, here are a few that can help:

• Know your content. If you don’t know it well, go study.
• Prepare and rehearse. Run through your talk a few times. We even suggest you stand in the room you will be presenting to rehearse.
• Prepare for the tough questions. You’re going to get some. Speculate on the toughest questions you might get, and then rehearse your responses to them.
• Arrive early. Running late for anything will increase your heart rate and anxiety level. You don’t need that today.

But, what’s the deeper solution?

I’m glad you asked. This is the more permanent solution. This is the solution that provides a true foundation to confident public speaking. The true root of overcoming fear and anxiety of public speaking is simply this… be present. That’s it. If it sounds too simple, you’re right. It is simple. But that doesn’t make it easy.

What’s the key to being present?

I’m going to ask you to stick with me and hear me out. I’m preparing you because some of you are going to read the next paragraph, roll your eyes and say, “Oh brother! Please…” right before you exit this web page. Please don’t! Stick with me until the end…

The key to being present is getting your mind and body to occupy the same space and time. The way to do that is with meditation.

I knew it! You rolled your eyes didn’t you?!

Please hear me out! I’m not talking about sitting in a lotus position, staring at a candle and burning incense in a dark room.

Do you know what mediation is? It’s one thing. That’s it. That’s the definition of mediation… one thing. To meditate you don’t clear your mind of everything. When you meditate, you clear your mind of everything except for one thing.

What’s the one thing?

It really doesn’t matter. Just focus on one thing for two minutes. If you know anyone who meditates regularly, ask them what you should focus on for two minutes and I bet they’ll tell you to start with your breathing. Just focus on your breathing for two minutes. Don’t change your breathing. Just focus on it. Notice your breathing.

For me, I usually coach people to pick one of their 5 senses and then focus on the data currently coming in through that port (you’re just like a computer!) for two minutes. My personal favorite is the sense of touch.

How I coach my leaders to meditate

I first learned this technique from my good friend and speaking coach, Paul Slattery. If I have a leader struggling with some anxiety before a presentation, I will find a quiet place for us to sit. Once he’s seated and still, I have him notice what he feels starting with the lowest touch point on his body (his foot in his shoe, pressure from the floor on the sole of his foot, etc.)

Then, we work up the body to the next touch point he can feel (one leg crossed and sitting on top of another leg). Then, move up the body to the next touch point (back of the thighs sitting on the chair). This continues until we reach the head. I have him turn his head slightly to feel it move. Then we work our way back down to the feet using the same checkpoints.

If you do this system check using your body’s sense of touch, up and down the body twice, you’ve just meditated for about 2 minutes!

Why does this work?

This is the essence of presence. The presence you project to others is rooted in your mind and body being in the same place. In other words, if your mind and body are occupying the same space and time, you’re present!

You know this is true because I’m sure you’ve had conversations with others and you can tell when their mind is someplace else. It bothers you. We want someone to be fully present when they’re communicating with us. Being fully present has benefits for both the speaker and the audience.

Before you speak, if you allow your mind to travel through space and time instead of being present, it starts to tell your brain stories and it takes you off your game.

• “I remember the last time I presented to this group and they tore me up with tough questions!” (Your mind is in the past.)
• “I just know they’re going to ask me a tough question and I won’t have the answer… or I’m going to forget something and lose my train of thought!” (Your mind is in the future… a false future!)

Get your head in the game!

If you played sports, my guess is your coach has dropped this one on you before. And she couldn’t have been more correct. Getting your head in the game means you bring it into the present. You get your mind to be in the same space and time as your body. That’s where your body is doing all the work right now… and it needs the brain to pull its weight too!

Be present for your audience.
It serves both you and the audience.

It’s where you live

In reality, the present is the only place you can really live. You can plan for the future and you can remember the past, but living can only take place in the present. So you might as well let your brain live a little too. Why should the body have all the fun?

Until next time,

Russ

Let’s connect…

on Twitter if we haven’t already?

OR Let’s connect on LinkedIn.

OR Let’s connect via my Facebook page!

iSpeak teaches workshops on Professional Selling to help sales leaders gather the most important data and then use that information to create the right message. Are your sales presentations closing eyelids or deals?

Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. His leadership blog assists leaders in giving voice to their vision. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

My coach yelled from the sidelines, “Peterson! Get up there and take that kick!” As a defender, I had rare opportunities to ever score a goal. My job was to stop others from scoring! Now please understand, I wasn’t totally without offensive ball skills, but I was just a defender. My coach knew that, but he was always encouraging. He showed his belief in me that day when he called my name for this moment.

Call it nerves or inexperience, but high and to the right didn’t win the day. I was crushed and I showed it with a fist slammed into the pitch. I left the field and my coach put a hand on my shoulder, gave me tight squeeze and direct eye contact before he said, “Next time.”

My first thought was “Whatever! There won’t be a next time! Why would you ever call on me again? I’m a defender! Why wouldn’t you just call on a forward to take that shot? There won’t be a next time.”

Coaching others to reach their potential can be difficult because we find ourselves in a balancing act of how much to demand and encourage. Nancy Darling, psychologist and parenting expert, has studied the effects of demanding and supportive approaches to coaching and the results. Her work was referenced in Angela Duckworth’s book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. The combination of the coaching demands and support can have tremendous effects on the tenacity and success of the individuals.

Demanding vs. Undemanding

I truly believe everyone performs better with a coach or trainer. Someone who can push you to give just 10% more than what you would have done on your own. Someone who will hold you accountable to a higher standard just outside your current comfort zone.

Without the discipline of commitment to reach further, you won’t improve. Remember, there’s no growth in the comfort zone and there’s no comfort in the growth zone. If you want to coach others to improve, you will need to demand change, outside their comfort zone, and they must be held accountable to that standard.

Remember “Facing the Giants” and how Coach Taylor pushed Brock to achieve more than he ever thought possible? First, Coach blindfolded Brock and asked him to put his faith in the Coach. Then Coach Taylor became the greatest encourager you could imagine. Demand more and encourage. It’s a powerful scene.

Supportive vs. Unsupportive

Demanding more from others without support can be detrimental. We all need support when we struggle or we will give up too soon. Demands without support is an authoritarian relationship, just making demands and telling them to figure it out. “Suck it up, Buttercup!”

If you are former military and flashing back to boot camp, you’ve been on the receiving end of these types of demands. But even in Navy SEAL training, some of the toughest physical, mental and psychological testing anywhere, the SEALS are taught to never go it alone. They learn the importance of supporting each other.

While they have a demanding coach wanting more from them, they find their coaching support in each other, and that’s by design. The Navy wants them to become reliant on their brothers. They are either with one buddy or a SEAL team for each part of the training. They learn how they can endure much more than they ever thought possible when they have the support of their team.

My Coach’s Encouragement…

For the next two weeks my soccer coach’s favorite two words to me at every practice were, “Next time.” I heard it so much I was determined to practice my penalty shots until I couldn’t get them wrong. Before practice or after I was taking shot after shot. I had lost faith in myself, but he believed in me.

That Friday night at our next game, our forward was slide tackled from behind within the 18 and once again the whistle blew for a penalty shot. I couldn’t help but look to the sidelines wondering if my coach was all talk or if he truly believed in me.

“Peterson! Get up there!”

This time was different. No nerves, just the same kick I’d practiced hundreds of times over the past two weeks. It wasn’t the game-winning goal, but it will always be the most memorable goal for me. It was because of a coach who wouldn’t let me stop believing in myself. He demanded much more from me in practice and he encouraged me even when I didn’t believe in myself.

As a coach, you will demand disciplined effort from others, but also give them support when they don’t feel like they can go on. It’s the coach’s job to see the potential in others even when they can’t see it in themselves. Coaches bring out the best in others through a blend of discipline and encouragement.

I challenge each of you who take up the mantle of coaching to never sacrifice on your demands but always be the first to support them when they miss the goal.

Still pushing myself to be a better coach,

Russ

Let’s connect…

on Twitter if we haven’t already?

OR Let’s connect on LinkedIn.

OR Let’s connect via my Facebook page!

iSpeak teaches workshops on Professional Selling to help sales leaders gather the most important data and then use that information to create the right message. Are your sales presentations closing eyelids or deals?

Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. His leadership blog assists leaders in giving voice to their vision. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

Have you been here before? I know I have. It’s a tough spot, but putting off your decision will only make it worse. A decision has to be made and you’re the only person who can make it… so choose!

Where I’ve Found Inspiration…

I don’t read a lot of poetry, but perhaps I should. This week I found myself engrossed in the depth and wisdom poets can offer. There’s something about poetry, how it takes simple words and adds a depth of humanity that seems to connect with something deep down inside. It’s more than just a deep thought or even strong feelings. It’s strange how it seems to touch your very soul at times.

If you’re contemplating a life decision about your career, your life, your studies, your world… my prayer is you can find some guidance and solace. The words of Robert Frost’s The Road Not Taken has been a source of inspiration for me in the past. I hope his words can help you today.

You know the decision needs to be made. It’s time to decide.

The Road Not Taken

by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

See you next week,

Russ

Let’s connect…

on Twitter if we haven’t already?

OR Let’s connect on LinkedIn.

OR Let’s connect via my Facebook page!

iSpeak teaches workshops on Professional Selling to help sales leaders gather the most important data and then use that information to create the right message. Are your sales presentations closing eyelids or deals?

Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. His leadership blog assists leaders in giving voice to their vision. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

I just don’t feel like doing it anymore.

Isn’t that why we all stop doing whatever it is we stop doing? We just don’t feel like doing it anymore!

• Why didn’t you go running today? I didn’t feel like it.
• Why did you stop your weekly blogging? I didn’t feel like it.
• Why did you eat drive-through food instead of cooking at home? I didn’t feel like it.
• Why didn’t you go to the gym after work? I didn’t feel like it.
• Why didn’t you clean your room? I didn’t feel like it.
• Why didn’t you turn off the TV and pick up that book? I didn’t feel like it.

As much as I’d like to think my decisions are logical, they’re really just about my feelings. Then you know what I do? I come up with a logical reason to support my poor-feeling decision. Somehow I feel like some stretch of logic will justify my lack of doing.

What Can We Do?

Three things we can do to outsmart our feelings and reach our goals. These three areas of focus help by making it easier, supporting you, and kicking you in the butt when it needs to be kicked.

First, Let’s Make it Easier

I’ve written about Dr. BJ Fogg before in my blogs. He’s dedicated his career to studying motivation and personal achievement. He’s most known for helping people achieve by developing what he calls tiny habits.

We can make our achievements easier by focusing on developing tiny habits first. Don’t make your first step too big or you’re more likely to give up on the enormity of the task. I’m reminded of the Bill Murray movie called “What About Bob.” Bill Murray’s character learns how to live a full life by taking baby steps toward his goals. Make sure you have some tiny goals to start. Let’s get a quick win!

Second, Let’s Get Some Help

Kerry Patterson is the author of several books, one of which is called Change Anything. In his research he has found there are 6 elements of support required for us to achieve anything. These 6 break down into two categories: people and tools.

People:

1. Yourself (you’ve got to believe!)
2. Cheerleader (your friends)
3. Coach (someone to hold you accountable and offer guidance)

Tools:

1. Information and tools (books, YouTube videos, DIY, Blogs, smart phone app)
2. Organized Group Sharing (Weight Watchers, book club, discussion groups)
3. Environment or System (organized classes, run club, structured eating plan, pre-defined shopping lists)

Third, kick your own butt

Mel Robbins is the author of The 5 Second Rule. What she found is that sometimes you just need to kick your own butt to defeat the “I don’t feel like it” excuse.

When we don’t feel like starting, we don’t. When we have an impulse or idea to progress toward a goal, we need to act on it… within 5 seconds. If we allow the “I don’t feel like it” feeling to stall us, it will recruit the brain to come up with a logical excuse within 5 seconds. If we don’t take action within 5 seconds of the impulse, we’re doomed. The feeling wins again.

So what am I going to do about my situation?

Well, I’m not going to wait until next year to start over again. It’s time to start over again… and that’s okay. I’m taking a mulligan.

Knowing I will eventually hit a wall and I won’t feel like doing it anymore, I’m going to approach it in three steps:

1. Pick a small step to start with (don’t run 10 miles on your first day… why not just walk 1 mile?) I’ll leverage the Tiny Habits approach from Dr. BJ Fogg.
2. Make a plan to enlist all 6 support elements Kerry Patterson describes.
3. When I don’t feel like doing it, I’m going to count down 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 and then say “Go!” to get past those hurdles. Time to kick my own butt.
   

Life’s failures are the learning lessons on the road to success. As Alfred (Michael Kane) in The Dark Knight movie says to Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale), “Why do we fall sir? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.” It’s time for me to get back up. If you’ve stumbled too, I invite you to join me.

If your New Year’s Resolutions aren’t where you want them to be… it’s not too late. Get up. Time to reset. Start over. It’s okay to take a mulligan. You can have a do over, and I’ll take one too. Seriously, if Batman gets a do over, so do we!

See you next week… that is… if I feel like blogging.
Just kidding
Russ

Let’s connect…

on Twitter if we haven’t already?

OR Let’s connect on LinkedIn.

OR Let’s connect via my Facebook page!

iSpeak teaches workshops on Professional Selling to help sales leaders gather the most important data and then use that information to create the right message. Are your sales presentations closing eyelids or deals?R

Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. His leadership blog assists leaders in giving voice to their vision. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

His question was not atypical. “What can I do to look more confident to my audience?” I get this one a lot in my workshops. I paused for a moment and said, “You’ve got to be more confident.” Of course, I had to say that with a smile and a wink.

There’s a big difference between being confident and just acting confident. I’m not a big fan of the “fake it until you make it” comment either. I never want the speakers I coach to be faking anything. I want them to “be” what they are meant to be. Put very simply, I want them to be authentic.

But how can we be authentic and what exactly does that even mean?

Your True and Authentic Self

What I’ve discovered, we all have an authentic self. That authentic self is at our core. While it’s at our core, it doesn’t mean it will never change or that it is something we were “just born with.” Our core is just the authentic self and a reflection of what we value most.

Now surrounding the Authentic Self is a layer that’s constantly being created, refined and formed to cloud out and cover up the Authentic Self. This layer is called the False Self. This False Self is created over time as we listen to that internal voice. You know the one. It’s the voice we all seem to have in our mind. It’s not our friend. It is some kind of enemy who speaks to us. Attempting to redefine our authentic self.

“You don’t have what it takes.”

“You’re a fake and they’re going to know it!”

“Your just a loser and they’re going to find out.”

“You’re no expert. Who do you think you’re kidding!?”

“You’re way out of your element. You don’t belong here. You’re not good enough.”

When the False Self does a good job of getting us to listen, we begin to believe the lies. We believe them so much, we actually begin to believe the False Self and the Authentic Self are one in the same.

The Quick Fix Question…

I’m guilty of this too, we start to think we need to show a better self to the public. We think we need to create a third layer on top of the false self. We need to cloak or hide the false self. Maybe we can project a better version of us to the public! Maybe we can “fake it” long enough that we will eventually become better at it? We call this outer layer the Projected Self and we use it for masking the False Self. It’s what we want others to see when they look at us. This is the layer I get asked about all the time in workshops. People want me to help them create a projected self.

“How can I show more confidence when I’m speaking?”

“What can I do to increase my approachability?”

“What should I do with my hands so I don’t look so nervous?”

We Don’t Teach Acting

If you want to learn how to act, don’t take one of our workshops. We don’t teach acting. We teach authenticity. What this means is that we don’t add a third layer (projected self) on top of the unnatural you (false self). Instead, we help you remove any remnants of the false self so you can be your true, authentic self. That’s what the audience wants anyway. They want you to be you!

So, what do we give you in our workshops to help release the authentic self? We give you tools and exercises you can use to strengthen your core. When you have a stronger core you can better defend your authentic self against the enemy speaking lies into you.

Don’t get caught up with anyone who promises quick-fixes or promotes masking your nervousness or lack of confidence. Your audience doesn’t want a projected self. The audience wants authenticity… not acting. So give it to them!

See you next week,
Russ

“I hate my job.” That’s all he said. Then he just sat there with a blank stare focused somewhere between me and the back wall. It’s a look I’d seen before… but I was the one wearing it back then. Have you been there before? It’s not a fun place. But, you do have choices. You can change it. You actually have 3 choices.

Remember, nothing improves until something changes. That’s just logical. If everything stays the same… then everything stays the same. If you want the situation to improve, then you need to change something! Otherwise, you’ll just keep getting what you’re getting. You’ve got to change something!

Two-Step Process Toward Improvement

You really have two major decisions to make before you can improve your situation. Each decision must be made and if you think you’re not making these decisions, then you’ve really already made your decision. Once you’ve consciously made these two decisions, you can know what to expect out of life. While each of us must decide for ourselves, there is nothing wrong with choosing either option. But, these decisions are made by all of us. When you recognize you’re making these choices, you’ll know what to expect.

Your FIRST Decision

First you need to have a very raw conversation with yourself and make a critical decision about your life. I’m not over exaggerating this when I say it. This question is not to be dismissed quickly. You’ve got to decide who is steering your ship. We’re all moving through life and someone is going to steer. It can be you or it can be someone else.

There is nothing wrong with what you decide. You just need to understand and accept who has the steering wheel. If you get on a bus and the driver says he’s going to St. Louis, then don’t be surprised when you end up in St. Louis! Even if you’d rather be in Baltimore… the bus driver who wants to go to St. Louis is taking you to the gateway to the West!

Stop complaining about being in St. Louis and stop telling everyone about how great Baltimore is this time of year. We’re going to St. Louis and you knew it. If you have a certain set of expectations for your life, but you’ve given the steering over to another person heading in a different direction, you’ll be very disappointed when you don’t end up where you want to go.

What are your options for someone to steer? At a high level I think we all have 3 choices for someone to steer. You can steer yourself, you can let someone else steer, or (if you are so inclined) you can look to a higher power.

Whatever you select, know who’s steering so you know what to expect.

Your SECOND Decision

The second decision is simple, but not easy. The second question is, “Where do you want to steer?” At a very high level, you really have three choices:

• You can work for someone else
• You can be an independent contractor
• You can start your own company

Option 1: Work for Someone Else

When you work for someone else, you can take ownership of your career by working with your internal Organizational Development group to understand your career path options within your company. The OD Department is responsible for the development of the human resources within the organization to fulfill the business objectives for the company. Understand you are on one ship which you are not steering, but you are free to move around the ship and find where you fit in best.

Option 2: Independent Contractor

This is a job with no boss. That’s how I think of an independent contractor. The most successful independent contractors know they do have a boss. In fact, they have many bosses. The bosses are the customers. The best independent contractors are self-starters who understand their business and customer service. In today’s online virtual world, many people are finding this a great place to land. With websites like Fiverr.com and UpWork.com, the people who are highly skilled specialists can focus on using their talents while these web services focus on providing the marketing and sales.

Option 3: Start Your Own Company

This is different from being an independent contractor. From my experience I’ve found many people who are independent contractors and would be very successful if they remained just that, but instead they allow the customers to drive them into starting their own company. It goes something like this…

Independent contractor is a highly skilled specialist and begins working for a customer. She does outstanding work as the technical expert. Through referrals, the contractor gets even more business. Now the contractor discovers she has too much work to complete herself and she also has to do the invoicing, bookkeeping, customer service, quarterly taxes, sales follow-up, and logistics too.

The independent contractor takes care of what she can, starts to outsource some of it or hires her first employee so she can stay focused on what she loves… the technical work she wanted to do in the first place!

Then, before she knows it, the hired help is dropping the ball because she’s put no effort into training these people or giving them any direction. “Why can’t people just do their jobs!” she’s thinking as she’s working on a Saturday now to clean up the errors they’ve made.

Then one day the independent contractor wakes up and realizes they hate their own jobs because they’re running around crazy, doing the extra work they don’t like, and not being given enough time to do the technical work they love so much. Congratulations… you’re an independent contractor with the accidental company you never meant to start in the first place.

“ Go to work ON your business, not IN your business. —MICHAEL GERBER

If you want to start your own company, you’re not doing it because you love the technical work. You’re doing it because you want to build a business that does the technical work. That means it will be your job to create the business plan, define all the processes, create the roadmap for where you’re steering this company, and the proper Organization Development plans to effectively train up the skills of everyone working for you.

As Michael Gerber says in his book The E-Myth, if you started as the independent contractor and found yourself owning a company, you need to “start working on your business not in your business.”

Just another accidental entrepreneur,
Russ

I was about to jump… but the 50-foot drop to the rocks below caused me to pause. “Just step out to the edge and jump away from the edge.” My zip-line guide made it sound so simple. I’d just seen 6 others do it and walk away without a scratch, but now it was my turn. I was with my family on our summer vacation taking a zip line tour at Zip Adventures in Colorado.

This stop was called “The Canyon Plunge” and although our zip line tour guides said it was optional, everyone was lining up to do it. This was not a zip line, but a free fall jump off of a cliff. I tried to calm my nerves by talking with Chris, the guide who had just harnessed me into both auto-belays. I asked him, “Do you use two belays for redundancy?” He smiled at me and said, “Exactly… and each one alone can belay 280 pounds. That’s 560 all together…” He gave me a quick once over with his eyes and with a smile he finished his sentence, “I think we’re good.”

Whether you’ve ever jumped off a cliff before or not, I think we’ve all been in a position where we’ve had something at risk and we had to pause before we took our next step. Whether you’re a salesperson, an executive, a volunteer coordinator, a teacher, a parent, a project manager, or an engineer… we will all play the role of the leader when we’re required to choose a next step for our own story.

“ Choices with consequences create movement in our stories.

Here’s what I’ve discovered about making those tough decisions. I’ve learned these steps by reflecting on the actions of leaders I’ve had the honor to work with in my own career. Their tough decisions were tough because there was something at risk. They had something at stake… something to gain but potentially something to lose. We can all learn from these steps. I hope you find the words of encouragement you need to take your next step… because it’s time to jump.

5 Steps for Making Risky Decisions

1. Recognize the Fear

Fear is not a weakness. Please hear me… FEAR IS NOT A WEAKNESS! Fear is one of your senses. Losing one of your senses would be a disadvantage to overcome or a weakness. When you have all your senses you are stronger. Fear is one of your senses. So when you have fear in a situation, just recognize it. Thank your mind for doing what it’s supposed to do… alert you when you should take notice of the situation.

2. Know the Real Risk and Payoff

The only reason we have fear in a situation is because something is at risk and we don’t want to lose what is at risk. In my example of stepping off the cliff, I was thinking about losing my health (e.g. broken bones, etc.) or my life! In your tough situations, slow down and reflect on what is actually at risk here. Know what you stand to lose but also know what you stand to gain! Think about the reason why you’re willing to risk. What do you have to gain? Then, move quickly to the next step!

3. Devise a Plan to Mitigate

Now, answer this question… How can you reduce that risk? Can you make one more phone call before you submit your pricing proposal? Can you talk to a mentor before you present your quarterly business review to the executives? Can you put a contingency plan in place in case the vendor can’t deliver on your tight timeframe? Can you put some pillows on the floor before you jump off the top bunk bed? Can you connect a second belay to the jumpers before they jump off the cliff?

4. Believe in your Plan

This step can be a tough one because it’s a mental game you’ll play with yourself. This ugly question will rise up in your brain, “But… can I trust my plan?” Here’s how I’ve learned to deal with this question. Your brain will try to take you back to the original risk.

For me on the cliff it was… “You’re risking your life!” But I had to counter that thought with the new risk… the mitigated risk. “No, that’s not true!” With the 4 carabiners attached to me, the two support lines, the two auto belays each able to handle 280 pounds, and the benefit of seeing 6 others go in front of me successfully… my risk is not my life. My new risk was much smaller… and just think of what I had to gain! The thrill, the excitement, the fun, the story to tell!

“ Have faith in your plan.

5. JUMP!

Now comes the fun part. You’ve addressed the biggest risk.

You’ve got a plan to reduce your risk exposure.

You know the payoff.

Now enjoy the ride.

JUMP!

So What Do We Do Now?

We can all implement these steps when we arrive at the forks in the road of our own career… or when we arrive at the 50-foot cliffs. Just like many things in life, it may be simple but that doesn’t mean it’s easy! Just knowing the process for addressing the tough decisions isn’t enough. We need to be willing to implement the plan.

It’s been said that people are either in a tough situation right now, they’re coming out of tough situation, or they’re about to go into one. Regardless of your current status, use this process to address the forks in your road. Remember, your story would have no movement if you weren’t making decisions that included some risk. It’s time to move your story along… It’s time to make the decision… It’s time to choose!  Let’s go!

It’s time to jump…
Russ

“Um, Good morning everyone. I… uh… well, I’m really glad to be here and um… um… really excited to share um, our thoughts on, um, well it’s not just our thoughts really, it’s really um, our vision, um…well, um… let’s get started.”  Your speaker for the day begins like this and you’re in the audience. How excited are you to hear the rest of the presentation? How confident are you in this so-called vision? I’m guessing the “yawns” are starting to creep in!

It’s easy for us all to sit in the audience pointing fingers or offering guidance using that horrible coaching word “should,” but we’ve probably all found ourselves in that same position as the speaker at some point in our career. I know I have and it wasn’t fun. Speaking and presenting can be tough.

It Never Gets Any Easier

While this is the truth and it can sound like bad news, it’s not. The fact is that with proper focused attention, you get stronger. That should not only be comforting, it should be motivating! The task never changes. It never gets any easier. It is what is is and it always will be. But what does change is you! You become more skilled, more experienced, and more practiced. You get stronger.

“ It never gets easier, but you get stronger!

4 Ways to Eliminate the Filler Words

You’ve heard this before, instead of saying “um” you need to be silent. Just don’t say anything! Just replace the filler words with a pause instead. You don’t need me to tell you that and you certainly don’t need to waste your time reading a blog post if that’s all it gives you for controlling filler words.

Here’s what I’ll give you next. These are the four steps for eliminating the filler words.

1. Awareness

Let’s face it, if you don’t know you’re doing something how can you ever expect to make a decision to change? In our workshops we video record each student as they address the audience. “I said that many ‘ums’? There is no way!” That’s when we can say, roll the tape! I’m guilty of the same thing. Even after two decades of public speaking, I still catch myself using fillers I let creep back in. Audio or video record yourself rehearsing sometime and make yourself aware!

2. Get Comfortable with Silence

If you’re not comfortable using a powerful tool, you won’t use it. The first time I ever used a saws-all I had a friend show me exactly how to hold it and apply the appropriate pressure to cut through the wall. It’s a scary tool if you’ve never used one. Silence is just as powerful for the speaker. Practice using silence in your next presentation by building in a longer pause at some point. After a thought-provoking question would be ideal.

3. Slow Down

I know this is easier said than done, but that doesn’t give you permission not to try. Here’s something magical that happens when you slow down. If you could slow your pace down to one word every second you wouldn’t say any filler words… ZERO! If you slow down just a little bit from your normal public speaking pace, the vast majority will also disappear.

4. Read Out Loud

Do this every day for about 5 minutes. When you read out loud your ears get the  benefit of hearing your own voice speak in a semi-formal environment (you’re on a script so it feels more formal than just talking to other people in conversation.) You don’t say “um” when you’re reading. When your ears get tuned to hearing you speak out loud without saying “um” they become hypersensitive and aware of the nasty filler words. Your brain naturally begins to avoid them!

I’d love to say you can follow these 4 steps once and every “um” will be magically eliminated, but I’m living proof, it doesn’t always happen that way. It’s more of a constant awareness, and remember… while it doesn’t get easier, you get stronger. Never stop trying.

“ Your words matter. Your words change lives. —RUSS PETERSON JR.

Your future audiences have too much riding on your messages. Do it for their benefit. Your words matter. Your words change lives.

Time to go get stronger…
Russ

I’m sure you’ve heard the advice from others to grab your audiences’ attention from the very start of your presentation. Then, hang on to it throughout your presentation. That sounds great! The tough part is answering the question… “Now, how do I do that exactly?”

Don’t use a joke!

I’m sure at some point you’ve heard people say, “Oh, you’re giving a speech? You should start with a joke! That’ll loosen up the audience!” If you’re a delivering a keynote speech or the groom’s toast at a wedding, you can probably make that work. But, if you’re speaking in a business environment, I would advise against it.

I’ve got nothing against using some humor in a business presentation, but out-right jokes (e.g. “Two guys walk into bar…”) is not appropriate for a business presentation. In most cases, (because there are always exceptions) jokes like this in a business setting will be interpreted by the audience as an amateur attempt to gain acceptance with the audience.

What’s the difference between humor and jokes?

Jokes are delivered with an intent to gain laughter and the joke is the point. Humor is usually injected with a pithy anecdote which serves as a humorous side-note, but it is not the point. The point is something else.

5 ways to grab audience attention

There are many ways to open a presentation or speech and grab the audiences’ attention. Think about how you can connect with your audience and where they are today by using one of the following methods to gain their attention.

1. Tell them a story

Storytelling is an art form. I think you know this is true because there are people in your life and you love to hear their stories. Then there are others in your life… well, maybe not so much. If you’re going to share a story with your audience first, make sure you have a point or a moral to the story. Next, tell it in as few words as possible. Use character names and give them a voice. Here’s a past blog post with more details on storytelling.

2. Quote someone they know

Using a meaningful quotation from another person can create an immediate connection with your audience. When I deliver a keynote to a larger group I mingle with the audience before I begin. When I get their thoughts on the topics for the day, I can use that in my opening and give credit to them by name. Quotes don’t need to be from someone like George Washington, you can simply quote Dave in Accounting and get the same affect with the audience.

3. Ask them a thoughtful question

Some of my students tell me they want to be more engaging with their audiences. I think we would all love to be more engaging, but the question can be, “How do I effectively do that?” When I’m coaching others, I always start with engaging the audiences’ minds. Engage their brains! One simple way to do that is with a question that makes them think. If the question is too simple, it doesn’t work. Go for the question that makes them go, “Hmmmmmm…”

• “If you only had 10 minutes to prep before a meeting, what would you want to know?”
• “How much money do you think we spend globally each year on airfares?”
• “What do you think is the number one complaint from our customers?”

4. Make a bold statement

Bold statements need to shake the audience’s foundation a little bit. It can be a cruel reality or it could be a challenging goal for the future. Either way, it needs to wake them up. Depending on who is in the audience, this can take on many forms.

• “20% margin by the year 2020.”
• “ZERO personal injuries for this next fiscal year.”
• “Wendy Johnson is retiring and stepping down as our CEO.”

5. Share an illustration

Illustrations are not stories. These are descriptions that tap into the imagination of the audience. If you want to engage the audience’s brains you should focus on three key areas: their logical brain, their feeling brain, and their imagination. One of the easiest (and most effective!) ways to engage their imagination is to get the audience to picture something in their mind. Sometimes, the crazier the better!

• “Picture 2 billion iPhones stacked end to end and reaching all the way up to the moon.”
• “Imagine our organization in 10 years. We have grown to 7 global locations on 5 continents…”
• “What if we could take all of our datacenter and consolidate them down to only 2 on each coast.”

Gaining your audience’s attention from the very start is something you need to plan. It doesn’t happen by accident… I guess I shouldn’t say it won’t ever happen without planning. It happened by accident with me once…

I was speaking in downtown Dallas and as I gestured my hand toward the large screen behind me from the stage, I fell off the back of the stage…

I’m sure that mishap got everyone’s attention and I’m positive I didn’t plan that one. Ask me about it the next time you see me and I’ll be happy to finish that story for you.

Time to go PLAN my next opening!
Russ