Russ Peterson Jr.Coaching | Russ Peterson Jr.

Let’s connect…

iSpeak teaches workshops to help leaders put a voice to their vision. It’s about connecting with an audience and giving them what they came for.

Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. His leadership blog assists leaders in giving voice to their vision. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

The post The 2 Secrets for Building Strong and Lasting Teams first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

How the Best Coaches get the Most out of Others

RPjr — Sun, 24 Mar 2019 11:02:24 +0000

It was the final minutes of a tied game and I was in my usual varsity soccer starting position of Center Fullback watching our offense crash on the opponent’s goal. That’s when the referee blew the whistle while hoisting a yellow card to the opposing team. The other team’s Center Fullback had taken a cheap shot on my forward within the 18. Our team has a chance to win with this penalty shot! That’s when I got the call…

My coach yelled from the sidelines, “Peterson! Get up there and take that kick!” As a defender, I had rare opportunities to ever score a goal. My job was to stop others from scoring! Now please understand, I wasn’t totally without offensive ball skills, but I was just a defender. My coach knew that, but he was always encouraging. He showed his belief in me that day when he called my name for this moment.

Call it nerves or inexperience, but high and to the right didn’t win the day. I was crushed and I showed it with a fist slammed into the pitch. I left the field and my coach put a hand on my shoulder, gave me tight squeeze and direct eye contact before he said, “Next time.”

My first thought was “Whatever! There won’t be a next time! Why would you ever call on me again? I’m a defender! Why wouldn’t you just call on a forward to take that shot? There won’t be a next time.”

Coaching others to reach their potential can be difficult because we find ourselves in a balancing act of how much to demand and encourage. Nancy Darling, psychologist and parenting expert, has studied the effects of demanding and supportive approaches to coaching and the results. Her work was referenced in Angela Duckworth’s book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. The combination of the coaching demands and support can have tremendous effects on the tenacity and success of the individuals.

Demanding vs. Undemanding

I truly believe everyone performs better with a coach or trainer. Someone who can push you to give just 10% more than what you would have done on your own. Someone who will hold you accountable to a higher standard just outside your current comfort zone.

Without the discipline of commitment to reach further, you won’t improve. Remember, there’s no growth in the comfort zone and there’s no comfort in the growth zone. If you want to coach others to improve, you will need to demand change, outside their comfort zone, and they must be held accountable to that standard.

Remember “Facing the Giants” and how Coach Taylor pushed Brock to achieve more than he ever thought possible? First, Coach blindfolded Brock and asked him to put his faith in the Coach. Then Coach Taylor became the greatest encourager you could imagine. Demand more and encourage. It’s a powerful scene.

Supportive vs. Unsupportive

Demanding more from others without support can be detrimental. We all need support when we struggle or we will give up too soon. Demands without support is an authoritarian relationship, just making demands and telling them to figure it out. “Suck it up, Buttercup!”

If you are former military and flashing back to boot camp, you’ve been on the receiving end of these types of demands. But even in Navy SEAL training, some of the toughest physical, mental and psychological testing anywhere, the SEALS are taught to never go it alone. They learn the importance of supporting each other.

While they have a demanding coach wanting more from them, they find their coaching support in each other, and that’s by design. The Navy wants them to become reliant on their brothers. They are either with one buddy or a SEAL team for each part of the training. They learn how they can endure much more than they ever thought possible when they have the support of their team.

My Coach’s Encouragement…

For the next two weeks my soccer coach’s favorite two words to me at every practice were, “Next time.” I heard it so much I was determined to practice my penalty shots until I couldn’t get them wrong. Before practice or after I was taking shot after shot. I had lost faith in myself, but he believed in me.

That Friday night at our next game, our forward was slide tackled from behind within the 18 and once again the whistle blew for a penalty shot. I couldn’t help but look to the sidelines wondering if my coach was all talk or if he truly believed in me.

“Peterson! Get up there!”

This time was different. No nerves, just the same kick I’d practiced hundreds of times over the past two weeks. It wasn’t the game-winning goal, but it will always be the most memorable goal for me. It was because of a coach who wouldn’t let me stop believing in myself. He demanded much more from me in practice and he encouraged me even when I didn’t believe in myself.

As a coach, you will demand disciplined effort from others, but also give them support when they don’t feel like they can go on. It’s the coach’s job to see the potential in others even when they can’t see it in themselves. Coaches bring out the best in others through a blend of discipline and encouragement.

I challenge each of you who take up the mantle of coaching to never sacrifice on your demands but always be the first to support them when they miss the goal.

Still pushing myself to be a better coach,

Let’s connect…

iSpeak teaches workshops on Professional Selling to help sales leaders gather the most important data and then use that information to create the right message. Are your sales presentations closing eyelids or deals?

The post How the Best Coaches get the Most out of Others first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

Do you have what it takes to be a coach?

RPjr — Sun, 29 Jul 2018 11:02:45 +0000

5 Characteristics of the Best Coaches

A couple weeks ago I wrote about the difference between a coach and a critic. A question came up about “What are the traits of a great coach?” I spent a few weeks pondering this question and reflecting on my own career over the past 25 years. I’ve found there are 5 key characteristics that differentiate the great coaches.

The best coaches always…

1. See the potential you can’t see in yourself

Either through their own experience of success and failure or though coaching many others down a similar path, coaches have vision. They can see the potential we have in ourselves, even when we can’t see it ourself. They can see the building blocks of so much more than what you are today. They see your current foundation and they have a vision for how you can leverage those strengths into a much stronger tomorrow.

“	When you catch a glimpse of your potential, that’s when passion is born. —ZIG ZIGLAR

2. See your next step as a set of options, not rules

The best coaches are not all about rules. “Do this but don’t do this!” The best coaches include you in the decision process. They provide several options for your next steps toward improvement, but they don’t make the decision for you. They include you in the decision. They empower you to make the choice. It’s called autonomy and every human on planet earth craves it. Anyone can criticize but it takes a special type of person to see the options for improvement.

3. Teach instead of scold

The best coaches are teachers at heart. This means they do what they do for one main reason… to see the student learn! Never forget… the heart of the teacher beats for the mind of the student! The best coaches will patiently teach by offering tools, models, and methods to apply immediately. Learning the theory is great, but if you can’t practically apply the theory to your world, it’s worthless.

As a speech coach, if I hear someone using too many filler words (e.g. like, um, okay) I could tell them to stop it! But… if I can’t tell them HOW to stop, then I’m nothing more than a critic.

“	The heart of the teacher beats for the mind of the student. —RUSS PETERSON JR.

4. Encourage you to achieve more

When I think back on my athletic career in high school, there was an assistant coach who seemed to be the meanest and toughest coach on staff. He always pushed us harder and further by telling us his expectations were much higher than our own. When I was a senior, I realized he was just trying to bring out the best in each of us. What seemed to upset him the most is when we couldn’t see our own potential and we failed to try. We failed to give him everything we had.

If you’ve ever seen the movie “Facing the Giants” you probably remember the scene with Coach Taylor pushing Brock to give everything he had on the field. The best coaches will encourage you to give your all and to be your best. If you haven’t seen this movie or this scene… do yourself a favor and take 5 minutes right now to watch this inspirational scene!

5. Hold you accountable

Setting expectations, making a commitment, meeting or beating those expectations… that’s what a coach expects. Accountability is the most important characteristic of a coach. I’m serious. Think about it. If a coach does everything else on this list but fails to hold you accountable for your commitments… then nothing will change. If that’s the case… you need to find a new coach.

One of the best lines I’ve heard from a coach following up on the actions/inaction he noticed from someone who made a commitment to achieve a goal was this question, “How does this action align with the goals you said you’ve set for yourself?”

“	Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out. —JOHN WOODEN

I’m grateful for the coaches in my life. I’ve had some amazing coaches and some awful coaches in my professional career. I can learn from each one, but I can honestly say, my personal goal as a coach is to be one of the better coaches to everyone I’m privileged to serve.

Eagerly awaiting my next opportunity to get coached!
Russ

Let’s connect…

The post Do you have what it takes to be a coach? first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

5 Steps to Make Risky Decisions Less Risky

RPjr — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 11:02:39 +0000

How to overcome fear when faced with a tough decision

I was about to jump… but the 50-foot drop to the rocks below caused me to pause. “Just step out to the edge and jump away from the edge.” My zip-line guide made it sound so simple. I’d just seen 6 others do it and walk away without a scratch, but now it was my turn. I was with my family on our summer vacation taking a zip line tour at Zip Adventures in Colorado.

This stop was called “The Canyon Plunge” and although our zip line tour guides said it was optional, everyone was lining up to do it. This was not a zip line, but a free fall jump off of a cliff. I tried to calm my nerves by talking with Chris, the guide who had just harnessed me into both auto-belays. I asked him, “Do you use two belays for redundancy?” He smiled at me and said, “Exactly… and each one alone can belay 280 pounds. That’s 560 all together…” He gave me a quick once over with his eyes and with a smile he finished his sentence, “I think we’re good.”

Whether you’ve ever jumped off a cliff before or not, I think we’ve all been in a position where we’ve had something at risk and we had to pause before we took our next step. Whether you’re a salesperson, an executive, a volunteer coordinator, a teacher, a parent, a project manager, or an engineer… we will all play the role of the leader when we’re required to choose a next step for our own story.

“	Choices with consequences create movement in our stories.

Here’s what I’ve discovered about making those tough decisions. I’ve learned these steps by reflecting on the actions of leaders I’ve had the honor to work with in my own career. Their tough decisions were tough because there was something at risk. They had something at stake… something to gain but potentially something to lose. We can all learn from these steps. I hope you find the words of encouragement you need to take your next step… because it’s time to jump.

5 Steps for Making Risky Decisions

1. Recognize the Fear

Fear is not a weakness. Please hear me… FEAR IS NOT A WEAKNESS! Fear is one of your senses. Losing one of your senses would be a disadvantage to overcome or a weakness. When you have all your senses you are stronger. Fear is one of your senses. So when you have fear in a situation, just recognize it. Thank your mind for doing what it’s supposed to do… alert you when you should take notice of the situation.

2. Know the Real Risk and Payoff

The only reason we have fear in a situation is because something is at risk and we don’t want to lose what is at risk. In my example of stepping off the cliff, I was thinking about losing my health (e.g. broken bones, etc.) or my life! In your tough situations, slow down and reflect on what is actually at risk here. Know what you stand to lose but also know what you stand to gain! Think about the reason why you’re willing to risk. What do you have to gain? Then, move quickly to the next step!

3. Devise a Plan to Mitigate

Now, answer this question… How can you reduce that risk? Can you make one more phone call before you submit your pricing proposal? Can you talk to a mentor before you present your quarterly business review to the executives? Can you put a contingency plan in place in case the vendor can’t deliver on your tight timeframe? Can you put some pillows on the floor before you jump off the top bunk bed? Can you connect a second belay to the jumpers before they jump off the cliff?

4. Believe in your Plan

This step can be a tough one because it’s a mental game you’ll play with yourself. This ugly question will rise up in your brain, “But… can I trust my plan?” Here’s how I’ve learned to deal with this question. Your brain will try to take you back to the original risk.

For me on the cliff it was… “You’re risking your life!” But I had to counter that thought with the new risk… the mitigated risk. “No, that’s not true!” With the 4 carabiners attached to me, the two support lines, the two auto belays each able to handle 280 pounds, and the benefit of seeing 6 others go in front of me successfully… my risk is not my life. My new risk was much smaller… and just think of what I had to gain! The thrill, the excitement, the fun, the story to tell!

“	Have faith in your plan.

5. JUMP!

Now comes the fun part. You’ve addressed the biggest risk.

You’ve got a plan to reduce your risk exposure.

You know the payoff.

Now enjoy the ride.

JUMP!

So What Do We Do Now?

We can all implement these steps when we arrive at the forks in the road of our own career… or when we arrive at the 50-foot cliffs. Just like many things in life, it may be simple but that doesn’t mean it’s easy! Just knowing the process for addressing the tough decisions isn’t enough. We need to be willing to implement the plan.

It’s been said that people are either in a tough situation right now, they’re coming out of tough situation, or they’re about to go into one. Regardless of your current status, use this process to address the forks in your road. Remember, your story would have no movement if you weren’t making decisions that included some risk. It’s time to move your story along… It’s time to make the decision… It’s time to choose! Let’s go!

It’s time to jump…
Russ

Let’s connect…

The post 5 Steps to Make Risky Decisions Less Risky first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

Dear Younger Me, …

RPjr — Sun, 25 Mar 2018 11:12:45 +0000

5 Things I wish I knew as a young Sales Professional

I was driving and listening to the radio (KLOVE) when a song by Mercy Me started. It gripped me from the opening line. “Dear younger me, where do I start?…” The song itself is powerful and it made a lasting impression on me because it made me think. I’m 30 years out of high school and 26 out of college now. What would I say to my younger self if I could write a letter back in time to me?

As I thought about this question and my sales career, I started taking notes. Not that my advice will apply directly to you, but here are five things I’d want to tell myself when I began my professional sales career.

Perfection is a direction, not a destination.

Making decisions early in my career I wanted to prove myself. The best way I thought to do that was to never be wrong. I wanted every decision to be the right decision. But that also meant, I didn’t make decisions until I had done all my homework. With research to back it up, I’d make sure I knew everything about everything before making a decision.

When I was overlooked 3 times for a promotion and my peers were given promotions, I was shocked at first. “How can they promote those guys when they don’t even do their homework before making decisions like I do!”

Then it became clear… Peter Drucker was right when he said, “You’ll never have 100% of the information before you make a decision.” I was waiting too long to make my decisions. I wanted the information to be perfect so there would be zero chance of being wrong. But that’s not where sales leaders live.

Lesson: Be prepared to make decisions even when you don’t have 100% of the information.

Nothing improves until something changes.

About 10 years after graduating college my sales career was being put to the test. I was being asked to chase bigger and more complex deals. That’s when I found the sales book, Hope is Not a Strategy: The 6 Keys to Winning the Complex Sale by Rick Page. The book was good, but the title was even better!

This book prompted me to learn more and improve my professional selling skills. I began by asking our Sales Manager for a list of the biggest deals closed by our company over the past 12 months. Then I contacted each of the Business Development Managers who won those deals. I asked them a simple question, “What was the key to success for you in winning that deal?”

If I didn’t change my approach to selling, I knew I’d continue to find the same small deals instead of winning the larger, more complex sales. I had to be humble myself and admit I don’t know nearly as much as these other sales reps. I needed to learn from them!

Lesson: When you want your situation to improve, find something to change.

Positive thinking doesn’t work.

If it did, none of us would still be looking for answers! If all it took was positive thinking, then most of the troubles in your life would be gone. We’ve all tried it and yet we still fail. Now don’t get me wrong. I firmly believe what Zig said when he told us positive thinking is always better than negative thinking. But, I’ve come to realize, positive thinking alone doesn’t get you there.

“	Positive thinking won’t help you do anything. But it will help you do everything better than negative thinking will! —ZIG ZIGLAR

According to research by Russ Harris, author of The Confidence Gap: A guide to overcoming fear and self-doubt, hanging on to positive thoughts doesn’t magically improve your situation. In fact, it could end up hurting you in the long run. But, the good news is that neither will negative thinking. The best way to manage our thoughts is to recognize all our thoughts (good and bad) as just that… thoughts! Then, release them and let them drift away. Don’t allow either to become your identity! Zig has words of wisdom on this too.

“	Failure is an event, not a person. —ZIG ZIGLAR

Lesson: When you fail, seek to understand why you lost. When you win, find out why you won. Either way, you gain knowledge. Success or failure are events, not people!

It will never get easier…

But you’ll get STRONGER! I love this one. You’ve probably heard that if you practice enough, eventually it’ll get easier… not exactly! You actually become stronger. The task hasn’t changed one bit. It is still the exact same task. What has changed is your ability to deal with the situation.

The first time I delivered a professional presentation was the summer of 1991 and it did not go well. I realized then I had to do something to improve my public speaking or my professional career would not be a very successful one. Since that day, I’ve been a student of communication. I read, study, and observe as much as I can about communication.

Now I’m blessed with opportunities to speak to large and small audiences all around the world. (As I write this… next week for me is… Korea!) The challenge of presenting to audiences hasn’t gotten any easier, and in some cases, the challenge is even more difficult. But, I can honestly say, I’m not the same person I was back in 1991. I’ve gotten stronger.

Lesson: Once you decide to make changes to improve, don’t expect the task to get easier. But, you can expect your abilities to get stronger!

Success is easy to define.

Stop comparing yourself to others. That’s not how you measure success. The tricky part about success is that you need a measuring stick. Success has to be compared to a standard. How can you call something a success unless you can compare it to the standard and measure against it? In sales, we call it your quota. Easiest way to measure the success of a sales professional… did you exceed quota?

Comparing yourself to others is a dangerous game and the enemy loves to use it. Why is comparison such an attractive tool for the enemy to use? Because, there is always someone else with more. Achieving goals (like your quota, KPIs, objectives, etc.) is a requirement in business and we should all work hard to achieve them.

But, I’ve learned to be careful with associating my identity as a success or a failure based on an arbitrary number (i.e. quota) handed down to me by the corporate sales office. My belief on personal success is measured against core values. If you live your life in alignment with your core values, you’re living a successful life… but don’t let that be an excuse NOT to hit your quota… now go crush it!

Lesson: Strive to achieve your goals, but your true success can only be found in living out your core values daily.

If you could write a letter to your younger self… what would you say?

Share your thoughts with everyone!

Best,

Let’s connect on Twitter if we haven’t already?

Books / Authors / Artists Mentioned in this Post:

The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self Doubt, by Russ Harris

Hope is Not a Strategy: The 6 Keys to Winning the Complex Sale by Rick Page

Dear Younger Me, by Mercy Me

Corporate Ovations: Your Roadmap To More Effective Presentations, by Kevin Karschnik and Russ Peterson Jr.

The post Dear Younger Me, … first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

Want to Know How the Best Communicators Connect with Any Audience?

RPjr — Sun, 18 Mar 2018 11:12:34 +0000

Leadership messaging is much more than just setting your goal

I was asked to coach the CFO for a company in downtown Houston. I asked her more about why we were meeting. She said, “I told them (her audience) they complain too much and they should like this new HR plan. Later my boss (CEO) said I came across harsh and abrasive.” Wow… you think so? As she shared more about how she spoke to her organization, I had a flashback to when I broke one of Grandma’s favorite china pieces and now I was getting a tongue lashing before being sent to my room to “think about what I’ve done.”

Here is what I’ve learned. This is a poor way for a leader to inspire a group to action. I’ve seen this type of approach before and even if it does move the audience to action, they almost always do it out of compliance, not commitment. That means they do it with negative feelings, not positive.

So if you want to get the job done at the expense of how they feel about you or the company, go ahead. Just remember, you can only go back to this well so many times before the crew starts a mutiny.

The Problem

Over the years I’ve coached a lot of speakers and I still consistently see a shallow approach to preparation. The entire focus of developing and delivering a message is on what the speaker wants to accomplish with the talk. In other words, what is the speaker’s goal for the speech? What is the desired outcome?

In business, people are used to setting goals for every project. This is nothing new to them. Set a goal, then achieve that goal! So it doesn’t really surprise me when I see business professionals approach public speaking and presentations the same way.

You’re probably thinking right now, “What’s so wrong with setting a goal? That sounds like a good thing to do!” And to answer your question, NOTHING is wrong with setting a goal. It is a great thing to do! BUT… it’s only half the equation. Most of these same presenters who set a goal for speaking stop right there. They’re always very clear about their goal for speaking. But, they almost never define the current location of their audience. What does the audience want?

“	If you don’t know where you’re going, you might end up someplace else. —YOGI BERRA

The Solution

You’ve got to answer the question, “Where is my audience at today?” I was born and raised in Austin, Texas, but we currently live about 30 miles outside of town. Let’s imagine my wife calls me from Austin one day because she’s lost and all gps is not functioning on her devices. She says to me, “Russ, I’m in Austin and I’m lost. I need you to give me directions so I can get home.” What is my first question to her? Exactly… “Where are you?”

Now, grant it, she is lost so she may not be able to answer me exactly, but she could still look around to give me some hints on her current location. This is a logical question to ask when you want to give someone directions. Where are you right now? In fact, if you start giving directions without asking this question, you may end up directing them to the wrong destination!

This same logic applies to anyone wanting to move their audience to a new location. You can set a goal for where you want to take the audience, but if you start giving them directions to that new location without knowing where they are today, your audience may end up someplace else by the time you’re done.

“	The audience knows when you’re speaking to yesterday’s audience. —RUSS PETERSON JR.

The Approach

We teach a method for preparation using the analogy of a bridge over a canyon. The other side of the canyon is the destination, or the goal. The audience is currently on one side of the canyon, opposite of the goal, and there is no bridge to get across. The audience not only needs a bridge, they also need the motivation or inspiration to make the trip across. This is the job of the speaker.

You can define the current location of your audience by answering just 3 questions:

WHO is your audience?
Are they salespeople? Accountants? Your team? Executives? A customer? A vendor? A group of new hires? Do your best to define what they have in common and how they may differ. Overall, you want a good understanding of the areas you can appeal to for inspiration. Look for commonalities.
How much do they currently KNOW?
What does your audience know and understand about the topic you are presenting to them? Are they subject matter experts? Do they know more than you? Do they even know what you’re talking about today? Have they heard of the project initiative but they don’t know their role yet? Do they think they know everything but they really don’t? What is their level of understanding?
How much do they really CARE?
Is this topic something they are interested in? If so, why? Do they care about this project? Do they care about the outcomes? Do they care about you? Do they feel like they are part of a team? Do they feel encouraged by you? Threatened by you? Do they feel like they have a voice? Do they feel like you care about them? If the audience understands the why behind the message and the direction, they are more likely to care deeply. Do your best to figure out how much they care today and use this to meet the audience where they are today.

“	If you’re going to connect, people need to know that you understand them. —JOHN C. MAXWELL

Meet them where they are today

Once you’ve defined the current state of your audience, you’re not done. Even after completing these questions, I still see speakers construct a message that places themselves (the speaker) on the destination side of the canyon (the goal) when the message begins. Picture this, you (the speaker) are standing on the other side of a royal gorge and you’re shouting to the audience to make changes, build a bridge and then cross the bridge to join you.

That sounds like a lot of hard work… and it is! The best speakers meet their audience where they are today. The best speakers come alongside the audience to explain how they too were once at this same starting point. The best speakers connect with the audience’s feelings as they stand on one side of the canyon, gazing across at the other side.

Then, after pointing out the far side of the canyon (the goal), the speaker shows why it’s so important for the team to get to the other side. Finally, the speaker explains how the bridge can be built. At this point, something amazing happens… the speaker can be trusted, the goal is seen as a worthy goal making the audience part of a story bigger than themselves, and the plan for getting there doesn’t seem so daunting.

Now… the audience will not only comply with the plan, they will be committed to the plan!

Try this preparation for your next presentation or speaking engagement. Let me know how it goes!

Best,

Let’s connect on Twitter if we haven’t already?

Let’s connect on Twitter if we haven’t already?

Books / Authors Mentioned in this Post:

Corporate Ovations: Your Roadmap To More Effective Presentations, by Kevin Karschnik and Russ Peterson Jr.

Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently, by John C. Maxwell

The post Want to Know How the Best Communicators Connect with Any Audience? first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

One Question That Can Change Your Life

RPjr — Sun, 11 Mar 2018 11:02:24 +0000

Do you really want to improve? Try this...

My wife and I were both excited to attend the leadership conference! The lineup of speakers included one of my favorites and one of my wife’s favorites. I was amped to hear from Craig Groeschel on topics like leading change and building systems. My wife was most excited about Lysa Terkeurst and her talk on dealing with disappointment. (and as far as I know, my wife’s interest in that topic had nothing to do with the fact that I was her date for the day!)

Then there was this other speaker, an author by the name Chris Hodges. I knew him as an author, but had never heard him speak before. Besides the one book I could recall (The Daniel Dilemma), I really didn’t know much about Chris. His comments that day were fun, humorous and engaging. I could write several blog posts on his amazing techniques for building approachability with an audience! (Note to self… write a future blog post on Chris Hodges and Approachability!)

So, WHAT’s the One Question?

Chris gave many helpful insights on leadership but there was one insight that just blew me away. It was one of those surreal moments when you realize you’ve just received a moment of truth. He gave us all one question we could use as leaders. This one question is powerful enough to change lives, organizations, communities, and the world. No exaggeration… this is good stuff!

Here it is…

“	What one thing, if it got better, would make the biggest difference? —CHRIS HODGES

This question struck me so hard because it’s both simple and powerful. Knowing why this is such a powerful question and how to use this question, can make you more effective in every aspect of your life. Don’t ever underestimate the significant benefits you can provide to others through the coaching wisdom in this one simple question!

WHY is this Question so Powerful?

1. Because… it’s simple

Elegance is found in simplicity. As the simplicity washed over me, the absolute power of the question began to soak in when Chris shared the story about him and his wife asking this question at least every 3 months on their date night. This one question has strengthened their marriage over the years. There isn’t a 12-step process for improving, there’s just one simple question. That’s it. Just one question. I love simple!

2. Because… it’s focused on only one issue

When I finish any of my workshops, my students usually have several new tools they’ve learned. Instead of asking them to now go and implement all of them, I probably surprise some of them with my final request. I ask them to only focus on implementing one change. When we have too many balls in the air, we don’t really do any of them very well. I love Chris’ question because it keeps us focused on just one issue… Focus!

3. Because… it’s tied to improvement

It’s inherent to the question itself. What would make the biggest difference? Most of us are willing to take on change when we know it’ll have a positive impact. We want that impact to give the biggest bang for the buck! This keeps you from focusing on changes just for the sake of change. The changes you pursue will lead to a positive difference and the biggest difference!

“	Don’t defend what’s not working! —CHRIS HODGES

HOW can you best use this Question?

1. Think about who to ask

When you think about who you could ask this question, two sources come to mind. You could ask yourself this question and you could ask other people this question. What I’ve found from my own experience is that I kinda like me. I mean, when I have an idea, I’m pretty sure it’s one of the best ideas ever! I don’t find myself disagreeing with me too much. Maybe it’s time I admit, I might be a little biased toward my own ideas. I’m jus’ sayin’.

So, what I’ve found is that I might be better served asking other people what should be improved instead of just always thinking I know what’s best. Whether you have ideas for improving your business or your marriage, make sure you get input from others. You can not only improve the outcomes of your business, but also the relationships you have with others.

2. Only ask if you have time to listen

This one question is meant to take your conversations into deeper waters. So, don’t jump into the deep end if you don’t want to swim. These conversations are meant to be savored. So plan on asking them when you have the time to listen and then LISTEN!

“	Nothing improves until something changes. —RUSS PETERSON JR.

3. Expect the work to follow

Something else built into this question is the actionable outcome. Let’s not sugar-coat this… you’re asking for work. You’re asking the other person about what needs to change. The change could be simple or it could be complex, but either way… it will involve you changing something. Remember, nothing improves until something changes. So once you know what needs to change, be ready to get to work!

Now for me, it’s time to go. I’ve got date night with my wife and tonight I’ll have one question for her…

Best,
Russ

Let’s connect on Twitter if we haven’t already?

Books / Authors Mentioned in this Post:

The Daniel Dilemma, by Chris Hodges

Divine Direction: 7 Decisions That Will Change Your Life, by Craig Groeschel

The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands, by Lysa TerKeurst

The post One Question That Can Change Your Life first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

Failure doesn’t teach a lesson without this…

RPjr — Sun, 28 Jan 2018 11:08:51 +0000

The Best Way to Turn Failure Into Learning

My son had his eyes set on the biggest stuffed animal, but throwing the balls into the basket was not going to be as easy as it appeared. After three failed attempts at tossing the balls he looked up at me and said, “I want to try again.” I could see where this was going. We would end up spending $40 on a $10 stuffed animal. Well it wasn’t exactly $40, but let’s just say, the carnival midway will remain in business a little longer.

After each attempt of tossing the ball, my son would make an adjustment. He tried different tosses, overhand, underhand, backspin, no spin, hit the back of the basket, lay it in the front. Each attempt taught him something and he’d make an adjustment. Besides, the only thing he was risking was Dad’s money.

Don’t Fear Failure

Why do we fear failure? Probably because there’s something at risk and we’re too focused on losing it. You could argue, “But if we don’t try, then there’s zero chance of failure, right?” Wrong. If you don’t try, you’ve already failed. You’ve missed out on an opportunity for learning and growth. I’d call that a failure.

None of us want to be seen as a failure but we have to remember what Zig Ziglar said, “Failure is an event, not a person.” Too often we think failure is going to be a reflection on us. If we fail too often, we’ll be defined by it. We will become failure.

According to Daniel Coyle’s research for his book The Talent Code, the most successful musicians, athletes, students, all share a common trait… they relish in their failures because they can learn from those mistakes.

“	You never fail until you stop trying. —ALBERT EINSTEIN

With similar findings, Carol Dweck’s research on what she calls fixed vs. growth mindsets shows that children with a growth mindset are open to failure because they see it as a learning opportunity. Once they learn from the event, they can try something new the next time.

Practice Won’t Make Perfect

I’ve heard people say the quote before, “Practice makes perfect.” Other people prefer the improved version of this quote from Vince Lombardi, “Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect.” I personally don’t think Lombardi’s quote is the best for learning either. The main reason is because the focus is placed on the expectation… perfection. Learning doesn’t occur by focusing on the expectation. You have to focus on something else!

“	Perfection is a direction, not a destination. —RUSS PETERSON JR.

Besides, I don’t believe I’ll ever achieve perfection (on this side of eternity) because I’m a flawed individual. But that’s okay. It doesn’t mean I’ll ever stop pursuing it. That’s why I’d rather say, “Perfection is a direction, not a destination.”

Just knowing your destination (the goal or expectation) doesn’t get you there. You need a plan. So where should you place the focus if you want to learn and improve? Your emphasis should be placed on the process, the process of learning.

“	You just can’t beat the person who never gives up. —BABE RUTH

Focus on the Process

This process is circular. Once you reach the end, you start over again. Remember what Babe Ruth said, “You just can’t beat the person who never gives up.” The only time you get to exit this circle (briefly) is when you achieve success. As I said earlier, it might be success, but I doubt it’s perfection. Since it’s not perfection, there will always be something to learn, then adjust, and then try to improve again.

As Kevin Karschnik says, “There is no best; there’s always a better.” But, trying over and over can be both mentally and physically draining, so make sure you have the motivation or inspiration to change.

The Learning Process

The learning process includes 5 steps: Try – Fail or Succeed – Reflect – Learn – Adjust

“Trying” is Not a Final Exam

Going back to Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindsets, she found that children who see “trying” as a test of whether you got it or you don’t are less likely to learn and improve. In other words, the fixed mindset shows itself when the children would try something once, fail and then make a comment like, “I can’t do that.” In other words, in their minds their talent was fixed. It was locked in and never going to change.

Don’t allow yourself to see “trying” as the final exam. It’s merely a progress measurement. It’s where you are today, but it’s not your final destination.

What’s the One Thing?

Failure Doesn’t Teach… Reflection Does!

The key element of this entire process often overlooked is reflection. Whether you win or lose, time for reflection will give you the proper perspective to learn from the experience. If you failed in your attempt, take time to reflect on the experience to pull out the learning. But don’t forget to reflect on your wins too!

I’ve been in sales my entire career and I had to learn that you can’t just reflect on the failures to make adjustments for the future, you needed to stay curious and focus on your wins too!

“	Failure is an event, not a person. —ZIG ZIGLAR

There was an opportunity with a customer in California I had been pursuing for 18 months. The call from the customer came through on a Friday afternoon and Chuck told me, “You got the deal!” I was ecstatic for ten seconds and then I realized I had a question for Chuck.

“Chuck, can me and the rest of the sales team fly out there to meet with your decision committee next week? I’d like to know why you picked us.”

There was silence on the phone at first, but then Chuck spoke up. “Of course you can. We’d be happy to go over it with you.”

For those first 10 seconds of excitement I had forgotten about my learning cycle. This win was a great opportunity for me to reflect on what we did well to win. With that new information, I could adjust my future sales pursuits to replicate even more wins.

Once he agreed to the meeting, I went back to being ecstatic. It was fajitas and margaritas that night!

“	There is no best; there’s always a better. —KEVIN KARSCHNIK

Learning is a life-long process. We don’t stop learning once we graduate from school. But we do stop learning if we fail to reflect on our failures and our successes. Reflection gives us the information we need to make adjustments for the future. Don’t skip it!

Still reflecting and still adjusting…

Best,
Russ

Let’s connect on Twitter if we haven’t already?

Books referenced in this post:

The Talent Code: Unlocking the Secret of Skill in Sports, Art, Music, Math and Just About Anything by Daniel Coyle

Mindset – The New Psychology of Success: How We Can Learn to Fulfill Our Potential by Carol S. Deck, Ph.D.

Get the Corporate Ovations Video Self-Study Course for FREE!

Public speaking and presentation skills are a key to your career success. Learn the same skills we’ve taught to thousands of corporate customers over the past decade in this FREE video-based program. It’s all designed to help make you a better speaker no matter what your skill level.

When you sign up for my weekly blog I’ll send you a link to iSpeak’s Corporate Ovations Self-Study Course. It comes with 12 lessons on public speaking. Each lesson includes a teaching video, exercise, application exercise and a challenge to get you out of your comfort zone. You can get the Self-Study Course here.

iSpeak also teaches workshops on Professional Selling to help sales leaders gather the most important data and then use that information to create the right message. Are your sales presentations closing eyelids or deals?

Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

The post Failure doesn’t teach a lesson without this… first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

How to Have the Best Conversations in 2018

RPjr — Sun, 31 Dec 2017 11:12:10 +0000

and build stronger relationships with family and friends

It was a conversation for the ages! My family and our dear friends from Dublin were all seated around their dining table in Ireland. The conversation was full of laughter, questions, tears, intrigue, and dreams. We were swimming in deep waters and we loved it. But what was it exactly that made this 3-hour conversation so memorable for everyone? It was actually quite simple…

It was just one conversation

Everyone seated around the table was engaged in one conversation the entire time. Everyone was given chance to speak and everyone was heard when they did. There were no side-bar conversations between two people seated at the table ever. It was just one conversation… and it was amazing!

Not long after returning to the United States with my family, I read an article from Michael Hyatt expressing a similar experience when he and his wife attended a dinner party. Their friend, Luci Swindoll, told everyone as they entered her home for the party, “I have only one rule… there will be only one conversation at the dinner table.”

The reason for my experience in Dublin was not obvious to me right away until I read Hyatt’s article. Then it became clear! Here are some of the benefits Michael Hyatt points out from one conversation dinners.

It validates and honors everyone by giving all a chance to be heard
Sets the stage for real connections
It makes everyone feel comfortable

You can read Hyatt’s take and all 6 of the benefits he sees in his article.

What I learned about better conversations

Over the years I’ve come to understand that conversations are valued by people who value others. Relationships are developed into stronger ties through good conversation. If someone takes the time to foster great conversations, I’ve found it’s safe to assume this person also values relationships.

“	Life is better in the company of others. —RUSS PETERSON JR.

As humans, we were built to commune with others. I know some of you may be reading this and saying to yourself, “Not me. I like my alone time! I recharge when I can get away from everyone else.” I can relate to that, because I recharge my batteries through retreat. But when I think about my life, it would be meaningless without the closest relationships I have with a small number of people.

Relationships Require Presence

For me, my strongest personal relationship is with my wife. At times when I need to recharge my batteries, I may need some time by myself. I might need to read a book or take 3-mile run. But, I would not be happy living in solitude like that forever. An interesting thought I’ve heard before is the definition of when you love someone… “You want nothing more than to be in their presence.”

“	When you love someone, you’ll want nothing more than to be in their presence.

Hundreds of years ago handwritten letters kept us connected with the ones we loved. Years later the phone brought us even closer by allowing us to hear someone’s voice. Today we have tools like FaceTime and Skype to make our loved ones feel even closer. But we all know… it doesn’t replace being in the same room with someone. I experience this for myself whenever I travel overseas for my work.

Relationships are built in four ways:

Proximity – Get together with others in person
Frequency – Meet more often with people
Duration – Spend quality time with others and don’t be in a rush
Depth – Create one conversation and make it safe for others to share personal beliefs

How will you strengthen your relationships in 2018?

Thank you for allowing me into your email inbox in 2017. My hope is that you’ve been able to take some of my communication training and experiences to apply to your own situations. I’ll say this again, I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I’m always willing to share what I’ve learned.

I hope you have amazing conversations as you close out 2017 with your family and friends! I’m wishing you, your family, and your friends better communication and stronger relationships in 2018!

Happy New Year!

All the best,
Russ

Let’s connect on Twitter if we haven’t already?

Get the Corporate Ovations Video Self-Study Course for FREE!

iSpeak teaches workshops on Professional Selling to help sales professionals gather the most important data and then use that information to align the right message. Are your sales presentations closing eyelids or deals?

Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

The post How to Have the Best Conversations in 2018 first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

5 Ways Your Wrecking Your First Impression

RPjr — Sun, 17 Dec 2017 11:14:08 +0000

and 5 easy fixes to better connect with your audience

I asked my class, “What are the two most valuable pieces of property on the Monopoly board?” Someone usually responds with “Park Place and Boardwalk!” If you own those two pieces of property, what would you put on them? I’m guessing hotels! When you have prime property, you always think carefully about what you want to do with that property.

The same holds true for your first impression when speaking. Your audience’s first impression of you is your prime real estate. Whether you want to argue a first impression only takes a 1/10th of a second, 7 seconds, or 30 seconds, we can all agree it happens quickly!

How will you invest in your 1st impression?

When I’m working with someone preparing for a speech or presentation I like to ask them how they’re going to start. I hear a lot of tired, old, cliche words from speakers. That is not the best way to invest in your prime real estate! Here are a few of those phrases we all need to eliminate.

5 Phrases to Eliminate and How:

These are the five most frequent phrases I hear used in the Park Place / Boardwalk position and they need to be eliminated! Don’t put yourself at a disadvantage from the very start. Change your word choice to be much more engaging to the audience.

1. “I want to talk to you about…”

WHO CARES what YOU WANT to talk about! The audience showed up for a reason. In other words, THEY WANT something! Why don’t speakers focus on what the audience came for? Instead you hear this tired old phrase about what the speaker wants. This phrase sets the tone that it’s not about the audience, it’s about the speaker. I don’t care if you’re the boss or the leader, it’s actually NOT ABOUT YOU! If you want the audience to be impressed or do anything, you need to focus on them. They need something from you!

Suggestion:

Think about changing your words to something like, “Today you’re going to hear…” or “I want to give you…” Stop focusing your words on what you want from this presentation and focus on the audience. If you focus on giving them what they want and need, you’re more likely to get what you want too!

“	The success of your presentation will be judged not by the knowledge you send but by what the listener receives. —LILY WALTERS

2. “Today I’m going to take some time and…”

Really? You’re going to take something from your audience in the first few seconds of speaking? I’m not just being crazy. I’m serious. Why would you take something from your audience as soon as you start? It seriously makes you sound selfish from the very start! Please stop taking and start giving something to your audience!

Suggestion:

Think about changing your words to something like, “Over the next 10 minutes you’re going to hear…” or maybe “Today I’m going to give you…” It’s not about taking from the the audience, it’s about giving to them!

“	If you want to make a good first impression, smile at people. —GUY KAWASAKI

3. “Thank you, I’m happy to be here…”

Pleasantries like this sound simple enough but they’re a dangerous game. If you say you’re happy to be on stage but the audience doesn’t see it in your face, then you don’t look sincere. It can actually damage your credibility because you sound like you’re just saying the right things but you don’t actually mean it. According to Dr. Albert Mehrabian and his work back in 1967, when people receive a mixed message (saying one thing but showing something else), they struggle to understand what the true interpretation should be. 93% of the time people will believe what they see and how it sounds instead of the actual words they hear.

Suggestion:

Don’t say phrases like this at all! Instead, focus on what you’re showing in your body language and facial expressions. If you’re going to thank your audience at all, I recommend you thank them in the middle of your presentation or toward the end. Some of the most authentic expressions of gratitude I’ve ever heard from a speaker were done at an unexpected time while they were presenting. Done at the very beginning, it sounds forced and insincere.

4. “Good morning, for those of you who don’t know me…”

Is it really necessary to divide your audience and speak to only some of them? I’m pretty sure the ones who don’t know you, already know that they don’t know you! These types of preface comments take up valuable time and sound like so many other boring presentations the audience has heard before. When you make a cliche comment your audience has heard a thousand times before, they feel like your presentation is going to be just like all the others. My guess is… that’s probably not such a good thing because many of the presentations they’ve heard before have been boring.

Suggestion:

No need to speak to only a portion of the audience. If you feel like you need to introduce yourself, then just do it.

5. “I’m gonna tell you a story…”

Why are you doing the play-by-play of your own presentation? I’m not joking. As the audience, we don’t need you to tell us what you’re about to do, just do it. It’s almost as bad as people who speak about themselves in the 3rd person. “Russ doesn’t like kale.” I wouldn’t say that. Although, I don’t like kale. I would just say, “I don’t like kale.” Stop giving us the play-by-play of what’s about to happen and just do it!

Suggestion:

Just tell the story. We don’t need the setup. I coach my speakers to do three things before beginning a story: pause, break eye contact, and move to a different spot on the stage. All three of these signal to the audience, something is about to happen. There is no need to tell them with your words.

If you want to be perceived as different, then you need to be different. These are some of the most common phrases I hear and they all have a simple fix. Do you want to grab their attention from the very beginning? Don’t sound like everyone else.

Do not pass GO, Do not collect $200…
Russ