Have you been here before? I know I have. It’s a tough spot, but putting off your decision will only make it worse. A decision has to be made and you’re the only person who can make it… so choose!

Where I’ve Found Inspiration…

I don’t read a lot of poetry, but perhaps I should. This week I found myself engrossed in the depth and wisdom poets can offer. There’s something about poetry, how it takes simple words and adds a depth of humanity that seems to connect with something deep down inside. It’s more than just a deep thought or even strong feelings. It’s strange how it seems to touch your very soul at times.

If you’re contemplating a life decision about your career, your life, your studies, your world… my prayer is you can find some guidance and solace. The words of Robert Frost’s The Road Not Taken has been a source of inspiration for me in the past. I hope his words can help you today.

You know the decision needs to be made. It’s time to decide.

The Road Not Taken

by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

See you next week,

Russ

Let’s connect…

on Twitter if we haven’t already?

OR Let’s connect on LinkedIn.

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iSpeak teaches workshops on Professional Selling to help sales leaders gather the most important data and then use that information to create the right message. Are your sales presentations closing eyelids or deals?

Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. His leadership blog assists leaders in giving voice to their vision. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

Have you ever thought about leaving your current job? Have you ever switched jobs just to find out you’re back in the same situation again? There is always an inherent risk in making a job change. Will you be better off? Or, should you just stay where you are for now? Is there any way to know for certain before you make the switch?

My Student’s Wake-Up Call

Jerry stepped to the front of my classroom and began sharing his story. He was a student in my storytelling workshop.

Jerry was at home working on his laptop and preparing for his next trip to the airport. Both of his daughters approached him holding a piece of paper close to their chest. “Daddy we drew you a picture!” He finished typing his email and then looked up from his laptop with a smile, “You did? Show it to me!”

The two girls proudly laid the picture on his lap and began to explain the picture. “This is me.” quickly followed by “And THIS is me!” They were both competing for his attention. Then they added, “And here’s you Daddy.” His smile began to fade as he gazed at the portrayal of his family through his children’s eyes. The picture needed no further explanation from his daughters. Jerry was speechless.

On one side of the drawing his daughters were standing with his wife by the house. On the other end of the page Jerry was standing next to an airplane with a computer and a suitcase, waving back to his family as he left for another business trip. There was something about the picture that struck a deep chord inside.

It was a realization of the life he was missing when he was gone. It was a picture of how his daughter’s would remember their life with him as they were growing up. It was the realization he would never get this time back again… ever. It was the forecasted pain of his future self looking back on a life full of business success but always wondering if he had failed at home.

In his own heart and mind, he wondered which was the most important right now. At this point in his life… where can he make the greatest impact? Is it with his family? Is it at work and in business? Is it possible to impact both? In the end, he knew he needed to make a very tough decision.

Finally Happy?

That day he turned in his resignation and began looking for another job, closer to home and with less travel. Luckily as a consultant with great relationships, it didn’t take long. Within a few weeks he ended up working for one of his consulting clients. Why didn’t he make this change before? Was he finally in the place where he’d be happy?

Nope.

While this job had much less travel and afforded him more time at home, he found himself dissatisfied at work. He felt like he was just going through the motions. That unsettled feeling came over him again. He couldn’t shake it. Once again, Jerry began looking for a new career opportunity. It was time for another change, but this time he’d approach the decision more methodically.

Jerry took more time to define his own professional skill set, the challenges he enjoys, all in a position with little travel required. That’s how he ended up with the job he has now and he couldn’t be happier.

As he finished up his story, he paused for a moment. Then he shared the moral of his story with us all. Everything Jerry learned from this experience could be boiled down to one question we can all use to predict our future satisfaction.

The One Question To Predict Your Future Satisfaction

While none of us has a crystal ball, we’d all like to make better choices and avoid the bad ones. Here’s the one question we can all use to do just that. It’s so simple, but yet so profound.

Are you running away or running toward?

With Jerry’s first move he realized he wasn’t running toward a better life and career choice. He was only running away from his current situation. This became clear to him when he lost all job satisfaction in his new role and he started to question his first move. Jerry knew his career and family satisfaction required him to run toward a better tomorrow, not just run away from his current situation.

If you’re jumping into a new role because you’re trying to escape your current situation, you may find a life boat for now, but you may not be satisfied for long. Imagine if you were on a sinking ship, you’d gladly jump into any life boat just to get away. But after a few weeks on the open sea in a small life boat, you’d be ready jump again!

The Point is This…

If your primary motivation is to run away from something, you may end up in a less-than-ideal destination. True… it could serve as a life boat, but is that really what you want? You’ll take just about anything when you’re just trying to get away.

But, if you’re running toward something, something that truly inspires you, something that gives you purpose, then you’re moving in the right direction.

Don’t live a life just running away. Live a life running toward!

Still trying to run toward…

See you next week,
Russ

“I hate my job.” That’s all he said. Then he just sat there with a blank stare focused somewhere between me and the back wall. It’s a look I’d seen before… but I was the one wearing it back then. Have you been there before? It’s not a fun place. But, you do have choices. You can change it. You actually have 3 choices.

Remember, nothing improves until something changes. That’s just logical. If everything stays the same… then everything stays the same. If you want the situation to improve, then you need to change something! Otherwise, you’ll just keep getting what you’re getting. You’ve got to change something!

Two-Step Process Toward Improvement

You really have two major decisions to make before you can improve your situation. Each decision must be made and if you think you’re not making these decisions, then you’ve really already made your decision. Once you’ve consciously made these two decisions, you can know what to expect out of life. While each of us must decide for ourselves, there is nothing wrong with choosing either option. But, these decisions are made by all of us. When you recognize you’re making these choices, you’ll know what to expect.

Your FIRST Decision

First you need to have a very raw conversation with yourself and make a critical decision about your life. I’m not over exaggerating this when I say it. This question is not to be dismissed quickly. You’ve got to decide who is steering your ship. We’re all moving through life and someone is going to steer. It can be you or it can be someone else.

There is nothing wrong with what you decide. You just need to understand and accept who has the steering wheel. If you get on a bus and the driver says he’s going to St. Louis, then don’t be surprised when you end up in St. Louis! Even if you’d rather be in Baltimore… the bus driver who wants to go to St. Louis is taking you to the gateway to the West!

Stop complaining about being in St. Louis and stop telling everyone about how great Baltimore is this time of year. We’re going to St. Louis and you knew it. If you have a certain set of expectations for your life, but you’ve given the steering over to another person heading in a different direction, you’ll be very disappointed when you don’t end up where you want to go.

What are your options for someone to steer? At a high level I think we all have 3 choices for someone to steer. You can steer yourself, you can let someone else steer, or (if you are so inclined) you can look to a higher power.

Whatever you select, know who’s steering so you know what to expect.

Your SECOND Decision

The second decision is simple, but not easy. The second question is, “Where do you want to steer?” At a very high level, you really have three choices:

• You can work for someone else
• You can be an independent contractor
• You can start your own company

Option 1: Work for Someone Else

When you work for someone else, you can take ownership of your career by working with your internal Organizational Development group to understand your career path options within your company. The OD Department is responsible for the development of the human resources within the organization to fulfill the business objectives for the company. Understand you are on one ship which you are not steering, but you are free to move around the ship and find where you fit in best.

Option 2: Independent Contractor

This is a job with no boss. That’s how I think of an independent contractor. The most successful independent contractors know they do have a boss. In fact, they have many bosses. The bosses are the customers. The best independent contractors are self-starters who understand their business and customer service. In today’s online virtual world, many people are finding this a great place to land. With websites like Fiverr.com and UpWork.com, the people who are highly skilled specialists can focus on using their talents while these web services focus on providing the marketing and sales.

Option 3: Start Your Own Company

This is different from being an independent contractor. From my experience I’ve found many people who are independent contractors and would be very successful if they remained just that, but instead they allow the customers to drive them into starting their own company. It goes something like this…

Independent contractor is a highly skilled specialist and begins working for a customer. She does outstanding work as the technical expert. Through referrals, the contractor gets even more business. Now the contractor discovers she has too much work to complete herself and she also has to do the invoicing, bookkeeping, customer service, quarterly taxes, sales follow-up, and logistics too.

The independent contractor takes care of what she can, starts to outsource some of it or hires her first employee so she can stay focused on what she loves… the technical work she wanted to do in the first place!

Then, before she knows it, the hired help is dropping the ball because she’s put no effort into training these people or giving them any direction. “Why can’t people just do their jobs!” she’s thinking as she’s working on a Saturday now to clean up the errors they’ve made.

Then one day the independent contractor wakes up and realizes they hate their own jobs because they’re running around crazy, doing the extra work they don’t like, and not being given enough time to do the technical work they love so much. Congratulations… you’re an independent contractor with the accidental company you never meant to start in the first place.

“ Go to work ON your business, not IN your business. —MICHAEL GERBER

If you want to start your own company, you’re not doing it because you love the technical work. You’re doing it because you want to build a business that does the technical work. That means it will be your job to create the business plan, define all the processes, create the roadmap for where you’re steering this company, and the proper Organization Development plans to effectively train up the skills of everyone working for you.

As Michael Gerber says in his book The E-Myth, if you started as the independent contractor and found yourself owning a company, you need to “start working on your business not in your business.”

Just another accidental entrepreneur,
Russ

“Um, Good morning everyone. I… uh… well, I’m really glad to be here and um… um… really excited to share um, our thoughts on, um, well it’s not just our thoughts really, it’s really um, our vision, um…well, um… let’s get started.”  Your speaker for the day begins like this and you’re in the audience. How excited are you to hear the rest of the presentation? How confident are you in this so-called vision? I’m guessing the “yawns” are starting to creep in!

It’s easy for us all to sit in the audience pointing fingers or offering guidance using that horrible coaching word “should,” but we’ve probably all found ourselves in that same position as the speaker at some point in our career. I know I have and it wasn’t fun. Speaking and presenting can be tough.

It Never Gets Any Easier

While this is the truth and it can sound like bad news, it’s not. The fact is that with proper focused attention, you get stronger. That should not only be comforting, it should be motivating! The task never changes. It never gets any easier. It is what is is and it always will be. But what does change is you! You become more skilled, more experienced, and more practiced. You get stronger.

“ It never gets easier, but you get stronger!

4 Ways to Eliminate the Filler Words

You’ve heard this before, instead of saying “um” you need to be silent. Just don’t say anything! Just replace the filler words with a pause instead. You don’t need me to tell you that and you certainly don’t need to waste your time reading a blog post if that’s all it gives you for controlling filler words.

Here’s what I’ll give you next. These are the four steps for eliminating the filler words.

1. Awareness

Let’s face it, if you don’t know you’re doing something how can you ever expect to make a decision to change? In our workshops we video record each student as they address the audience. “I said that many ‘ums’? There is no way!” That’s when we can say, roll the tape! I’m guilty of the same thing. Even after two decades of public speaking, I still catch myself using fillers I let creep back in. Audio or video record yourself rehearsing sometime and make yourself aware!

2. Get Comfortable with Silence

If you’re not comfortable using a powerful tool, you won’t use it. The first time I ever used a saws-all I had a friend show me exactly how to hold it and apply the appropriate pressure to cut through the wall. It’s a scary tool if you’ve never used one. Silence is just as powerful for the speaker. Practice using silence in your next presentation by building in a longer pause at some point. After a thought-provoking question would be ideal.

3. Slow Down

I know this is easier said than done, but that doesn’t give you permission not to try. Here’s something magical that happens when you slow down. If you could slow your pace down to one word every second you wouldn’t say any filler words… ZERO! If you slow down just a little bit from your normal public speaking pace, the vast majority will also disappear.

4. Read Out Loud

Do this every day for about 5 minutes. When you read out loud your ears get the  benefit of hearing your own voice speak in a semi-formal environment (you’re on a script so it feels more formal than just talking to other people in conversation.) You don’t say “um” when you’re reading. When your ears get tuned to hearing you speak out loud without saying “um” they become hypersensitive and aware of the nasty filler words. Your brain naturally begins to avoid them!

I’d love to say you can follow these 4 steps once and every “um” will be magically eliminated, but I’m living proof, it doesn’t always happen that way. It’s more of a constant awareness, and remember… while it doesn’t get easier, you get stronger. Never stop trying.

“ Your words matter. Your words change lives. —RUSS PETERSON JR.

Your future audiences have too much riding on your messages. Do it for their benefit. Your words matter. Your words change lives.

Time to go get stronger…
Russ

My colleague and friend Cynthia Oelkers is an absolute rock star with communication, so it didn’t surprise me when she published an amazing blog post titled, “How to Rock a Panel.” I was delivering a workshop on Leader Presence this week for a corporate customer and one student asked me, “Do you have any tips on speaking from a panel discussion?” While I had a few tips for my student, I also knew Cynthia had written a great article on this very thing.

Thank you to Cynthia for allowing me to share her article here with you! Please connect with Cynthia and follow her, if you don’t already. She’s full of wisdom!

Now, here is Cynthia’s Blog Post on “How to Rock a Panel.”

See you next time,
Russ

1.  Have 3-5 pocket stories – the best way to seem like you’ve done this before is to tell us a story about how you actually did this thing with a real client. Tell us how you failed and what you learned. Tell us about a wild success (humbly). Let your clients speak for you (using your mouth!).  “Last month we faced this same issue with recruiting new volunteers for our Love Box program. One of the VPs at our corporate sponsor Dell said she’d post the need on her neighborhood Facebook page. And you know what? We got a huge response because the call for help was made by a person who had influence in their own community. It made a bigger impact coming from her than it would have from us. It’s now one of our best practices.”
2. Be the translator – After you tell us how you overcame a barrier and pushed through your limits, connect the dots to our experience. Translate how what you learned in your situation can help us. Say something like, “So, how can this help you? [ANSWER]” or “What this means to some of you in your business is….[ANSWER].” I mean, we are here to learn about your personal journey, but we REALLY want to get inspiration and new ideas from you FOR OURSELVES. Move your inward focus outward to us.
3. For the love of all that is holy, quit spouting jargon and “marketese” at us. Unless we are a homogenous group of tight-knit peers, leave your “solutions” and “optics” at home. Pretend we are your smart mom who isn’t necessarily entrenched in your industry and use everyday language to talk to us. I guarantee that having a teacher’s heart towards us will make us trust you and like you so much more.
4. We are DYING to like you – Really. We’ve sat through some really boring presentations before we got to yours. You can win this by just being LIKEABLE. Smile, make a joke, laugh at yourself, BE DIFFERENT. Let your personality shine through. Credibility + likeability = persuasion. We buy things from people we LIKE. Help us like you (And I know you know this, but have decorum in your difference. Don’t wander into circusville. I once had a speaker throw dinner rolls at us as part of her speech on innovation. It didn’t work because it didn’t fit).
5. We are watching you when you aren’t speaking – and we are gauging how much your respect the other speakers. If you are distracted, we will think you don’t like the other speakers or that you only care about yourself. If you are paying attention to the other speakers, we will credit you with respect and humility, and that’s the kind of person we want to work with.
6. Microphones – everyone has a lavaliere mic or no one does. Don’t pass around a lavaliere, it’s loud and distracting, and it looks awkward. Handheld mics are good – have one per every three panelists and one for the moderator. We don’t want to watch the microphone travel hand to hand down a long line of panelists. It’s a time-waster.
7. What’s your secret mission? Why did you say yes to speak on this panel? Don’t just say “it’s good marketing.” Figure out WHAT you want this audience to know about you by the time you are finished talking. Answers can be something like “I want the audience to get that Wells Fargo is not just a big, impersonal bank. We are the bank in your neighborhood that helps your kids, shows up at your events, and serves alongside you.”
8. What is the audience dying to know? Why did we spend money and a day or more coming to this conference? What did we hope to leave with? If you aren’t giving us some NEW, specific ideas and tips, you’ve failed us. Think of 1-2 insights you can TEACH this audience during your panel time. Can you help us avoid a mistake you made? Do you have a great resource we could use, too? Give us a peek under the tent and it will show us that you are, indeed, an expert worth spending money on.
9. Sameness is the enemy of the presenter – what’s expected at a panel? People sitting in a row, passing a mic, and talking. What’s not expected? You standing up, you drawing something on a whiteboard, you getting us involved in a quick activity, you reading a relevant quote from a client or an industry expert, you bringing an actual (again, relevant) prop that illustrates your point. “You’ve heard of the online dating site called Tinder, right? The app presents you with a person’s profile, and if you are interested, you swipe right on your phone [shows how to swipe right with her hand]. If you are NOT interested, you swipe left [swipes left with hand]. Let’s try it: I’m going to read some statements and if you agree, swipe right with your hand in the air. If you don’t, swipe left.  [AFTER THE EXERCISE] This is how our SchooLinks app works, except instead of matching potential dates, we match high school students to colleges.”
10. Grab us from the get-go and we will follow you anywhere – Whether the moderator introduces you or not, open your show with a solid introduction. Follow this formula:
    • Start with a quote, a startling statistic, a metaphor, a poll, a challenging question… something besides “Good morning, my name is X and I am the Y at Z” (snooze). Remember, sameness is the enemy of the presenter.
    • Then, tell us your name and explain what you do at your company in PLAIN ENGLISH.
    • Finally, tell us the reason WHY you love this work and that you hope to share that passion with the audience.“G.K. Chesterton, in his book Alarms and Discursions said, ‘Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.’ (pause for laughter)My name is Kendall Antonelli and I am the owner of Antonelli’s Cheese – which are two cheese shops and a bistro here in Austin. I am here to tell you that, for me, cheese has opened up an adventure into entrepreneurship and trying to use our business to do good in the community. Today, I hope to share with you some things we learned along the way. Thanks for having me.”

BONUS: if you are a woman, find out if you will be elevated by sitting on a bar-height stool or on a stage.  If you are higher than the audience’s eye level, strongly consider wearing pants or a long skirt. You don’t want your movements to be constricted because you are worrying about being modest! There is enough to worry about on speaking day.

Really want to rock your next conference or sales presentation? Work with Cynthia one on one to transform your content into something special and deliver it like warm, confident, and savvy leader you are.

Cynthia Oelkers
MFA Interpersonal Communication

Look, you’re no dummy. You didn’t get to where you are without the right mix of talent and discipline, but we all have issues. Cynthia will help you systematically and confidentially become a bigger rock star. Drop your damaging communication habits. Increase your personal power. Inspire your people. Have the courage to make real changes with a coach in your corner.

Using a mix of frank talk and good humor, Cynthia is known for delivering the hardest of news in the nicest of ways. She’s been the biggest fan in the corners of organizations such as Dell, Dun & Bradstreet, The Methodist Hospital, Digital Realty, Milk and Honey Spas, Cintra US, Enspire Learning, Abilitie, Planar Systems, Lutheran Social Services (now Upbring), and has helped over 800 executives achieve a winning balance of power and likeability.

Working in the high-tech environment since 1993 is enough to make anyone understand the need for better communication. In 1999, she led the Large Corporate Accounts division to meet Dell’s corporate goal of moving 50% of their business online – one year early. And she did it by persuading Dell’s sales force and corporate customers of the benefits of the e-tool. After her experience helping customers integrate Dell’s online suite of B2B products into their processes, Cynthia became a professional speaker for Dell. She spoke to CEO/CIO/CTOs from Fortune 500 companies like: Pitney Bowes, Honeywell, Perot Systems, Sony, Enron, Microsoft, GE Capital, First Data Corp. on “How Dell Drove Their Business to E”.

Since then, Cynthia has used research in persuasion and compliance-gaining to help over 800 (and counting!) executives become top-notch leaders. In addition, she combines her work in theater and business to help people polish both their interpersonal and public speaking skills. Cynthia holds a Master’s degree in Interpersonal Communication from U.T. where she researched sales anxiety and persuasion. She has also taught communication at St. Edward’s and LeTourneau Universities. On weekends, she performs with award-winning Girls Girls Girls Improvised Broadway Musicals in Austin, Texas. That’s improv, y’all.

The executive sat there staring at me while I thought about his question. I didn’t have an answer. His question was about the financial structure of our deal. I didn’t see any problem with structuring the payments by his request, but I didn’t have the authority to make that call. I’d have to run this by my boss for approval. I responded by saying, “I don’t have that answer right now. Can I get you a response by Friday?”

I knew my response didn’t sit well with the VP when he shot back, “I need that answer right now! …or this meeting is over.”

Ouch.

I made a phone call to get the answer. Even though we agreed to his request. I didn’t win that business. You don’t win ’em all… but it sure feels good when you do!

Over my 25+ years as a sales professional, I’ve had my share of sales wins and losses. But even when I lose a deal, I know I can always look back and find a lesson learned. Maybe there was nothing I could’ve done different to win that particular deal, but maybe I could change my approach in the future. For this experience, I learned to always think through what I’m empowered to negotiate and what I will need manager approval on before I go into any sales presentation.

Here are 7 sales lessons I’ve learned…

1. You’re too focused on your quota

Jokingly I’ve heard it expressed that all salespeople are coin-operated. While we do get paid a commission for retiring our quota, the quota cannot become the primary focus. Why? Because customers can smell it. If they get the sense that you see them only as another notch in the belt as you move closer to your accelerator commission kicking in, they’ll turn and walk… or run!

2. You don’t understand the business need

All customers talk to salespeople because they have a business need. They’re either fixing an issue or they’re building for a brighter future. Either way, their investment in whatever you’re selling is to help their business. I’ve seen too many sales opportunities either lost completely or reduced in $$ size because the salesperson was just selling widgets instead of understanding how the customer was going to use the widgets. Ask about the business need!

“ Seek first to understand and then to be understood. —STEPHEN COVEY

3. You don’t know why you won

I had just won a large contract that took 18 months to chase. I was excited about the win and took it to my manager. His first question brought me back to earth quickly. “Why did they pick us?” I could’ve guessed, but I really didn’t know the answer. Obviously they thought we were the best choice, but I didn’t know any specifics. My manager’s point was this, “If you don’t know why they picked you, then how do you expect to duplicate this type of win in the future?” Always find out why you won or lost!

4. You’re not curious

When the customer says something that makes you go, “Hmmmmm.” You need to take note and ask about it! I learned to start labeling anything that made me curious. If it was good news or a potential to increase in the sale, I’d mark it with a $ in my notes. If it was potential hurdle to closing the deal, I’d mark it with a ! in my notes. If it definitely made me curious but I wasn’t sure if it was good news or bad news at this point, I’d label it with a ? in my notes. Question anything that makes you curious and you may increase the size of your opportunity!

“ To be a better listener, stay curious! —RUSS PETERSON JR.

5. You’re not familiar with the buyer process

Every buyer makes a decision for a reason. They walk through a mental process of defining a need, searching for potential solutions, analyzing the options, then justifying the final choice (weighing risks), before they make their final decision. This is the buyer process. When you align your actions to help them walk through this process, they feel you’re helping. When you move through your sales process with no concern to their process, you just became the pushy salesperson.

6. You don’t know how to influence without manipulating

The tools of influence and manipulation are the same. The difference comes in the answer to the question, “Why are you doing this?” If the answer to the question is purely a selfish reason with no regard for customer’s needs, you’re manipulating. Stop trying to bend the customer to your thinking. Enter every engagement with a focus on helping the customer solve a problem and your heart will be in the right place.

“ Example, whether it be good or bad, has a powerful influence. —GEORGE WASHINGTON

7. You ask too many closed questions

I’m reminded of this one every time I’m speaking with my teenage kids. I want to develop a good relationship with them by engaging them in conversation. How can I get them to open up and talk to me? Ask questions! So, I start asking questions. “What are you doing tonight? Who are you going with? What time are you leaving? When will you be home?” I’m asking questions, but they’re all closed questions! My kids feel like I’m interrogating them! When I ask more open questions like, “What do y’all talk about? Why do you think so many kids drop out of school their senior year? What do you think are the best challenges to write about for college application essays?” Practice asking open questions to hear the whole story.

I’ve had my share of losses and my share of successes over my selling career. One thing I’ve learned, I can turn anything into a win when I take the time to reflect on the learning lesson in each experience.

Here’s to learning something new!

Best,
Russ

Books referenced in this post:

Cut the C.R.A.P. and Make the Sale, by Russ Peterson Jr.

I’m not a huge Winter Olympics fan, but I enjoy watching some of the events. While watching the downhill slalom racing in Korea I heard the announcer say, “With that time, he’s now leading the pack.” For the first time, I heard it. I heard the misnomer in the words he chose. “He’s leading the pack.” I’m guilty of this too. We use the word “leader” synonymously with “winner.”

No wonder everyone wants their kid to grow up to be a leader! Who wouldn’t want their kid to grow up and be a winner!

Here’s the reality… leader and winner are not the same thing.

Leader Doesn’t Mean Winner

The term “leader” gets used in several different contexts, but especially in American Culture, too often the term leader is used synonymously with “winner.” Sales leader means current sales winner. Leading the pack means you’re winning the race.

But when the race ends with the current leader crossing the finish line, we stop calling that person the leader. Now we call them the winner. Why is leadership so attractive? Is it the false sense that when the race ends the current leader will now be named the winner?

Or is it just that we all see leadership as the pathway to winning? If we’re leading, then we’re winning?

Leaders have Followers

In a race, if you’re leading the pack, it is your job to beat everyone following you. You must stay ahead of them and not allow them to pass you. In a race, your followers are not your friends. Unfortunately, we see this play out in corporate world every day. Leaders who take advantage of the ones who follow. Some leaders will even lie and cheat to remain in the leadership role and to maintain their position.

True leadership revolves around caring for those who follow you. Without the followers, you’re not leading. As John C. Maxwell says, “If you think you’re leading, but no one is following, then you are only taking a walk.”

“ If you think you’re leading, but no one is following, then you are only taking a walk. —JOHN C. MAXWELL

When leaders have followers they can have them for two reasons. Either the followers want to follow or the followers have to follow. Which type of followers would you want? Are you a leader with followers who want to follow (we call this committed) or they follow because they have to follow (we call this compliant)?

What can you do for your team today? What can you do for your followers?

Leaders are Going Somewhere

The term leader implies movement. Think about it. If I told you someone was leading an expedition. You’d probably follow up with the question, “Where are they going?” All leaders have a destination in mind. We call it a vision. That vision must be communicated effectively to the team.

When the team can see the destination through the eyes of the leader, they gain inspiration. The leader takes on the responsibility of the vision. The leader owns the vision. Then, knowing what the team needs, the leader provides all the support necessary to equip the team for the trip.

Leaders Support the Team

In a race, the leader of the race who crosses the finish line first will be declared the winner. The winner can only be the winner at the expense of the rest of the runners. This is where I really dislike the term “leader” being used in sporting events. It is the exact opposite of true leadership.

Leaders don’t win at the expense of the others. Leaders coach up others to become leaders. The leader is responsible for the team and accepts that responsibility.

Being a leader is not about getting the accolades from winning. It’s about putting others in a position to win. There’s no such thing as a winning coach in any sport if their team never wins anything. The leader’s success is tied directly to the achievements of the team. As Tom Peters says, “Leaders don’t create followers, they create more leaders.”

“ Leaders don’t create followers, they create more leaders. —TOM PETERS

Leadership is a Responsibility

Leader doesn’t equal winner. Let’s stop misusing the term by thinking it’s a synonym for winner. Leader?… Actually it’s a job. It’s a job with a responsibility to support the followers. And it’s a tough job, but it’s a rewarding one too!

Let’s go take care of our teams!

Best,
Russ

He paused for a moment and then answered my question. “I want to learn how to be more influential today.” I was in Seoul, Korea for a week of leadership communication training. I had asked all four of the leaders what they wanted to discuss during our time together.

This leader’s request was not so different from what I’ve heard before, but there was a sincerity in his voice that struck me as a longing for truth. I sensed he was ready to change anything for his team if it meant their success.

This was my last day of training in Korea, a half-day conversation with 4 senior leaders. The conversation was great and the discussion was both raw and honest. These were the type of leaders you’d love to have as a boss. I’m always humbled by the opportunity to share what I’ve learned with others, but most of the time I sincerely feel like I learn more from them by just being a part of the conversation!

The Problem

He expanded on his first comment, “People don’t always want to do what we need them to do. I want to learn methods for persuading them to get the job done.” This issue is all too common for leaders. It’s an age-old question for leaders, but before I could offer any help, I had to ask a clarifying question.

Define Your Desired Result

I asked him, “Do you just want them to get it done or do you want them to want to get it done?” He paused for a moment and asked, “What’s the difference? Either way they get it done, right?” There’s a difference because if we want them to want it, it will take a different tool and more time. If we really just need them to get it done, regardless of how they feel about it, we can get it done faster.

So what’s the first step? The first step is to decide which kind of result you really want. Do you want a compliant team? (i.e. they do it, but they don’t really care.) Or, do you want a committed team? (i.e. they do it and they love doing it!)

Many will immediately say, “I want them to want to do it! That would be my target every time!” But think carefully before you answer because that’ll take more work and sometimes, it’s really not necessary. There are times when the team is under pressure to get it done and we don’t have time to worry about people’s feelings. We just need to get it done! While commitment would be great all the time, sometimes it’s just not necessary. In those cases, I’ll settle for compliance.

If you want a Compliant Team…

This is when we just need to get the job done. We don’t have the luxury of time to build commitment. We just need the work to get done! When there is a tight timeline on a project and the leader needs everyone to work late tonight. The team may not like it, but it will get done.

For compliance the leader can leverage what’s called the Strength Power Base. Because of the leader’s org chart title, he / she is given power to direct the team. As long as you want to remain a member of the team, you will comply with the direction from the leader. That’s easy enough. It gets the job done, but doesn’t concern itself with the feelings of the team. It’s fast and effective when we focus on the task.

If you want a Committed Team…

Gaining commitment from the team is going to be a bit trickier and it will take more time. Commitment (action plus strong positive feeling) comes from a team who understands “the why” behind the work. Not only do they understand “the why” of the work, but they believe in “the why!” Another name for “the why” is purpose.

The leader responded to me and said, “So we want them passionate about the work. Right?” While I love seeing passion in people, I told him, “Not necessarily. I think something else trumps passion every time… purpose.” The quizzical expression I received in return told me I should explain further.

I thought I’d give him the sand bag example I originally heard from Andy Stanley. “Let’s assume I asked all 4 of you to go outside where you’ll find several piles of sand, some bags, and shovels. Then I tell you we need to get all that sand into bags by tonight. So get to work!” Assuming I was the boss, I’d probably end up with 4 compliant workers filling bags with sand.

Then I continued, “But what if you loved filling sand bags. You had a passion for filling bags.” (I might seriously wonder if you took one of those shovels to the head, but okay… your passionate about sand bags!?!) “Do you think you’d work harder or better than the rest of the team?” I received the typical response you’d expect. All four leaders nodded their heads in agreement. I agreed as well, but I also said I thought it was a bit ridiculous to think anyone would have a passion for filling bags of sand!

Now let’s look at it another way. Let’s assume I start our conversation by telling you the weather channel has predicted massive flooding in this area tomorrow morning. The orphanage next door has 60 young children living there and that building will be under water by this time tomorrow. I need all 4 of you to go outside and fill the sand bags as quickly as you can. If you get them all filled by tonight, we will save the orphanage! Now, I’d say we’d have four people driven by purpose!

Questions…

• Am I more likely to get all of you working harder with purpose?
• Do you think the purpose-driven person would work even harder than the passionate person?
• Even if someone was allergic to sand, do you think they’d be willing to help save the orphanage?
• Do you see how purpose trumps passion every time?

The Solution

When you have the time to influence or persuade to create committed followers instead of just compliant, you need to tie their work to a greater purpose. I’ll admit, it’s easier to do this with some projects compared to others. But, if you can share the purpose, you will answer the question “why?” they’re doing something. Once they understand and agree with the purpose, you’ll have a more productive team.

Passion is great. I’ll take passionate employees all day long. But if they believe in the purpose, they’ll outperform the rest.

Working on my focus…

Best,

I was driving and listening to the radio (KLOVE) when a song by Mercy Me started. It gripped me from the opening line. “Dear younger me, where do I start?…” The song itself is powerful and it made a lasting impression on me because it made me think. I’m 30 years out of high school and 26 out of college now. What would I say to my younger self if I could write a letter back in time to me?

As I thought about this question and my sales career, I started taking notes. Not that my advice will apply directly to you, but here are five things I’d want to tell myself when I began my professional sales career.

Perfection is a direction, not a destination.

Making decisions early in my career I wanted to prove myself. The best way I thought to do that was to never be wrong. I wanted every decision to be the right decision. But that also meant, I didn’t make decisions until I had done all my homework. With research to back it up, I’d make sure I knew everything about everything before making a decision.

When I was overlooked 3 times for a promotion and my peers were given promotions, I was shocked at first. “How can they promote those guys when they don’t even do their homework before making decisions like I do!”

Then it became clear… Peter Drucker was right when he said, “You’ll never have 100% of the information before you make a decision.” I was waiting too long to make my decisions. I wanted the information to be perfect so there would be zero chance of being wrong. But that’s not where sales leaders live.

Lesson:  Be prepared to make decisions even when you don’t have 100% of the information.

Nothing improves until something changes.

About 10 years after graduating college my sales career was being put to the test. I was being asked to chase bigger and more complex deals. That’s when I found the sales book, Hope is Not a Strategy: The 6 Keys to Winning the Complex Sale  by Rick Page. The book was good, but the title was even better!

This book prompted me to learn more and improve my professional selling skills. I began by asking our Sales Manager for a list of the biggest deals closed by our company over the past 12 months. Then I contacted each of the Business Development Managers who won those deals. I asked them a simple question, “What was the key to success for you in winning that deal?”

If I didn’t change my approach to selling, I knew I’d continue to find the same small deals instead of winning the larger, more complex sales. I had to be humble myself and admit I don’t know nearly as much as these other sales reps. I needed to learn from them!

Lesson: When you want your situation to improve, find something to change.

Positive thinking doesn’t work.

If it did, none of us would still be looking for answers! If all it took was positive thinking, then most of the troubles in your life would be gone. We’ve all tried it and yet we still fail. Now don’t get me wrong. I firmly believe what Zig said when he told us positive thinking is always better than negative thinking. But, I’ve come to realize, positive thinking alone doesn’t get you there.

“ Positive thinking won’t help you do anything. But it will help you do everything better than negative thinking will! —ZIG ZIGLAR

According to research by Russ Harris, author of The Confidence Gap: A guide to overcoming fear and self-doubt, hanging on to positive thoughts doesn’t magically improve your situation. In fact, it could end up hurting you in the long run. But, the good news is that neither will negative thinking. The best way to manage our thoughts is to recognize all our thoughts (good and bad) as just that… thoughts! Then, release them and let them drift away. Don’t allow either to become your identity!  Zig has words of wisdom on this too.

“ Failure is an event, not a person. —ZIG ZIGLAR

Lesson: When you fail, seek to understand why you lost. When you win, find out why you won. Either way, you gain knowledge. Success or failure are events, not people!

It will never get easier…

But you’ll get STRONGER! I love this one. You’ve probably heard that if you practice enough, eventually it’ll get easier… not exactly! You actually become stronger. The task hasn’t changed one bit. It is still the exact same task. What has changed is your ability to deal with the situation.

The first time I delivered a professional presentation was the summer of 1991 and it did not go well. I realized then I had to do something to improve my public speaking or my professional career would not be a very successful one. Since that day, I’ve been a student of communication. I read, study, and observe as much as I can about communication.

Now I’m blessed with opportunities to speak to large and small audiences all around the world. (As I write this… next week for me is… Korea!) The challenge of presenting to audiences hasn’t gotten any easier, and in some cases, the challenge is even more difficult. But, I can honestly say, I’m not the same person I was back in 1991. I’ve gotten stronger.

Lesson: Once you decide to make changes to improve, don’t expect the task to get easier. But, you can expect your abilities to get stronger!

Success is easy to define.

Stop comparing yourself to others. That’s not how you measure success. The tricky part about success is that you need a measuring stick. Success has to be compared to a standard. How can you call something a success unless you can compare it to the standard and measure against it? In sales, we call it your quota. Easiest way to measure the success of a sales professional… did you exceed quota?

Comparing yourself to others is a dangerous game and the enemy loves to use it. Why is comparison such an attractive tool for the enemy to use? Because, there is always someone else with more. Achieving goals (like your quota, KPIs, objectives, etc.) is a requirement in business and we should all work hard to achieve them.

But, I’ve learned to be careful with associating my identity as a success or a failure based on an arbitrary number (i.e. quota) handed down to me by the corporate sales office. My belief on personal success is measured against core values. If you live your life in alignment with your core values, you’re living a successful life… but don’t let that be an excuse NOT to hit your quota… now go crush it!

Lesson: Strive to achieve your goals, but your true success can only be found in living out your core values daily.

If you could write a letter to your younger self… what would you say?

Share your thoughts with everyone!

Best,

“How is leader presence any different from normal presence?” My student asked this question immediately after I defined the two elements that make up a first impression; your perceived confidence and your approachability. My student persisted with a follow up question before I could even respond, “I mean, isn’t your presence just these two things, whether you’re a leader or not?”

I went to the whiteboard and drew two overlapping circles and labeled one with Confidence and one with Approachability. Then I spoke to the class. “We all have a presence perceived by the audience in these two areas. That is true… but leaders also have a 3rd element.” I drew a third overlapping circle, in typical Venn Diagram fashion, and labeled it Vision.

Let’s Quickly Review the Definition of Leadership

We’ve already reviewed the first two elements of leader presence over the past two weeks. The first week we discussed Confidence, and last week we reviewed Approachability. This third element is called Vision and all true leaders have it.

In the past I’ve given you my simple definition of leadership which consists of only two parts. First, all leaders are going somewhere. If they’re not moving then they really aren’t leading. You can only lead if you go somewhere. Second, all leaders have followers. You actually can’t have one without the other. By definition and simple logic, one cannot exist without the other. If you have one, the other is assumed.

The 3rd Element of Leader Presence is VISION

I remind you of this definition of Leadership because the 3rd element of Leader Presence is also logical based on our definition of a leader. The leaders who project leader presence are doing three things:

• They’re going somewhere
• They’re taking followers with them
• They’re doing this by telling followers about the destination

In other words, the 3rd and final piece is about the leader casting the vision. Without the vision, they may show confidence and approachability, but they can’t be leading because they’re not going anywhere!

Some leaders are so good at communicating their vision of the future that they almost sound like time travelers! The leader describes the future state in such great detail and with such confidence it actually sounds like they’re from the future!

“ Leader Presence is three things: Projected Confidence, Approachability, and Vision.

But… How can I Communicate My Vision?

Here’s the Risky Part…

Do you know exactly what’s going to happen in the future?  No.  Let’s be honest… as much as we analyze the past and then predict and plan for the future, we don’t know with 100% certainty if it will actually happen. It’s not a sure thing. We’re not only asking our team to step outside their own comfort zones, we’re stepping outside of ours too.

We just don’t know and that uncertainty can eat away at our minds and absolutely kill our leader presence. But, we need to project confidence (1 of the 3 key elements of Leader Presence!) and therein lies the rub. When you cast a vision, it will inherently include risk. That risk generates fear in our mind, which ultimately can damage the confidence we’re projecting in our leader presence. Vicious cycle, isn’t it?

How can we overcome this risk of an unknown future?

It’s called COURAGE. Speaking up when something needs to be said, takes courage. Pointing everyone in a new direction you believe in, takes courage. Whether you have a leadership title or not, casting a vision into the unknown will take courage. In a nutshell, it always takes courage to lead. So be ready to kill the doubt when it enters your mind.

Do you want opportunities to practice your leadership skills?  Here’s an easy way to find them… Find the FEAR… and then step into it. Fear is not weakness. Fear is a normal human response to risk. How you respond to that fear determines your courage as a leader. People will see fear when they see risk. It will take courage for the leader to step into it.

So go out there and be courageous!

This wraps up our 3 part series on Leader Presence. Here’s a summary of all 3 blog posts with links to each.

• Today, February 11th – Confidence
• Sunday, February 18th – Approachability
• Sunday, February 25th – Vision