Russ Peterson Jr.Trust | Russ Peterson Jr.

iSpeak teaches workshops to help leaders put a voice to their vision. It’s about connecting with an audience and giving them what they came for.

Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a speaker, international trainer, and published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. His leadership blog assists leaders in giving voice to their vision. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

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Leading with Fear Will Fail in the End

RPjr — Sun, 03 Feb 2019 11:02:28 +0000

When I’m on long flights overseas, I end up watching at least one movie. Most recently on my trip to Korea I watched the movie King Arthur. I’m familiar with the storyline and I was curious how this adaptation would be different.

In this version, the power craved uncle (played by Jude Law) thinks that fear provides the ultimate power to a leader. He called it intoxicating. As expected, he rules the kingdom by striking fear into the hearts of subjects. “Obey me, or else!” As with all good action movies, ultimately King Arthur regains his throne by winning an unlikely battle through a the help of his small group of committed followers and of course, his magic sword, Excalibur.

Fear can get things done for awhile, but it won’t last. Everyone wants a strong leader who’s also willing to show humility and willing to serve. Leaders with compassion generate the most dedicated followers. That kingdom will last… at least until the next power-craved leader rises up using fear and consequences to achieve movement from the followers.

There’s Something Wild in Each of Us

This is how animals lead. In a wolf pack there is an Alpha. The Alpha is the strongest of the pack and wins the position to lead by physically challenging the current Alpha leader. The rest of the pack follows the new Alpha because they can’t defeat the Alpha or they’re too afraid to try.

Sounds like a great Disney movie, doesn’t it? At the beginning of the movie our good leader either dies or is overthrown by a power-starved, jealous, strong leader who uses fear to take and hold on to power. The rest of the movie follows the struggle of our hero, the caring challenger, seeking the strength and courage to finally make things right and overthrow the evil regime.

Why are These Movies so Successful?

Because deep down we all know that leading others with the power of fear is wrong. As we watch the movie we can’t wait for that final battle scene when our champion makes everything right again. We want to see the winning battle where the new compassionate Alpha is blessed with supreme strength and courage to set the world right again.

We want the happy ending for our tribe. Does this sound familiar? Tarzan, Lion King, Jungle Book, Black Panther, Gladiator, Lord of the Rings… King Arthur.

What Can We Do?

When humans lead like animals, using fear, it can work for awhile. But the followers are always looking for their next champion. They’re not following because they want to, they’re following because (for now) they have to follow.

We crave a leader who cares about us. We want strength and compassion from our leader. Power through intimidation will create animosity and an eventual rebellion.

How will you choose to lead with both strength and compassion?

For some reason I’m craving movie popcorn…
Russ

Let’s connect…

iSpeak teaches workshops on Professional Selling to help sales leaders gather the most important data and then use that information to create the right message. Are your sales presentations closing eyelids or deals?R

The post Leading with Fear Will Fail in the End first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

Do You Make This Communication Mistake?

RPjr — Sun, 22 Jul 2018 11:02:28 +0000

I did. The ONE forgotten step that kills relationships

It’s no secret some people interpret disagreement as a sure sign you’re an enemy combatant. How do I know? Because I’m as guilty as the rest of us. When somebody disagrees with me (e.g. business, politics, religion, etc.) my brain jumps into battle stations, “Shields up! Divert all power to the forward cannons! Fire when ready!” Have you been there before? Can you relate?

If you’re like me then you really do want to get better, but it isn’t always easy. To use a biblical word, I always find myself repenting of my actions later, but I wish I could get better at preventing it from ever starting. Afterwards I start thinking something like…

“Wow… I need to apologize to him for what I said.”

“Ugh… how could I have let myself say that.”

“Whoa… I wish I could put those words back in my mouth.”

Everyone’s Opinion has an Origin

Like many things in life, I find this reminder simple but not easy. Nobody has a strong opinion without their opinion being rooted in something. In other words, people believe in something for a reason. Do you know what their reason is?

In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey addressed this so beautifully when he reminds us to understand the other person’s point of view before you attempt to share your point of view.

We all make decisions based on our personal interpretation of the world. We all like to think that we’re being logical with our decisions. In other words, we all have opinions that make sense to ourselves. So before we act or react, we can all take Covey’s advice and do our best to understand the origin of this person’s opinion before we respond. Even if we disagree, it can still provide some perspective on why this other person has a strong opposing view.

“	Seek first to understand before you seek to be understood. —STEPHEN COVEY

The Interpretation Process

Every time we’re placed in a situation, we interpret everything going on around us. Kerry Patterson tells us (Change Anything: The New Science of Personal Success) our situation isn’t what makes us feel good, feel bad or feel anything else. He says the feeling we feel is generated by our own mind when we tell ourselves a story. In other words, there is a logical 4-step sequence to how we act and react.

It goes like this:

Exposure to a situation
We tell ourselves a story based on our interpretation and speculation
The story generates a feeling (love, contempt, animosity, anger, etc.)
We act or react based on the feeling

The One Forgotten Step

The story we tell ourselves is the forgotten step in Patterson’s process. Most of us think other people makes us mad. In fact, we’re probably all guilty of saying it at one time, “You make me so angry!” Patterson says that really isn’t true at all. Other people don’t make you angry… you make yourself angry! We make ourselves angry by telling ourselves a story.

“What a jerk, he’s only concerned with making money!”

“Only an idiot would think we should vote for that.”

“She doesn’t care about anyone but herself… and that’s obvious!”

So, if it’s the stories we tell ourselves that create the strong feelings, then maybe there is some hope we can regain control over how we feel, and react in tough situations.

But the toughest part now is… how do we control the story?

How do we change?

Like I said before, it’s simple but that doesn’t mean it’ll be easy! The simple solution is to start telling yourself a different story. When you find yourself in a situation where your blood starts to boil, slow down. Ask yourself a few questions…

“Why am I getting angry about this?”

“What story did I just tell myself?”

“Why does this person think this is a logical solution?”

“	Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. —MATTHEW 5:9

I know it’s simple but it definitely ain’t easy! I’m right there with you. I’ll pray for you if you’ll pray for me. Together, we can get through anything. We’re better together.

I control my own stories… I control my own stories…
Russ

Let’s connect…

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5 Steps to Make Risky Decisions Less Risky

RPjr — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 11:02:39 +0000

How to overcome fear when faced with a tough decision

I was about to jump… but the 50-foot drop to the rocks below caused me to pause. “Just step out to the edge and jump away from the edge.” My zip-line guide made it sound so simple. I’d just seen 6 others do it and walk away without a scratch, but now it was my turn. I was with my family on our summer vacation taking a zip line tour at Zip Adventures in Colorado.

This stop was called “The Canyon Plunge” and although our zip line tour guides said it was optional, everyone was lining up to do it. This was not a zip line, but a free fall jump off of a cliff. I tried to calm my nerves by talking with Chris, the guide who had just harnessed me into both auto-belays. I asked him, “Do you use two belays for redundancy?” He smiled at me and said, “Exactly… and each one alone can belay 280 pounds. That’s 560 all together…” He gave me a quick once over with his eyes and with a smile he finished his sentence, “I think we’re good.”

Whether you’ve ever jumped off a cliff before or not, I think we’ve all been in a position where we’ve had something at risk and we had to pause before we took our next step. Whether you’re a salesperson, an executive, a volunteer coordinator, a teacher, a parent, a project manager, or an engineer… we will all play the role of the leader when we’re required to choose a next step for our own story.

“	Choices with consequences create movement in our stories.

Here’s what I’ve discovered about making those tough decisions. I’ve learned these steps by reflecting on the actions of leaders I’ve had the honor to work with in my own career. Their tough decisions were tough because there was something at risk. They had something at stake… something to gain but potentially something to lose. We can all learn from these steps. I hope you find the words of encouragement you need to take your next step… because it’s time to jump.

5 Steps for Making Risky Decisions

1. Recognize the Fear

Fear is not a weakness. Please hear me… FEAR IS NOT A WEAKNESS! Fear is one of your senses. Losing one of your senses would be a disadvantage to overcome or a weakness. When you have all your senses you are stronger. Fear is one of your senses. So when you have fear in a situation, just recognize it. Thank your mind for doing what it’s supposed to do… alert you when you should take notice of the situation.

2. Know the Real Risk and Payoff

The only reason we have fear in a situation is because something is at risk and we don’t want to lose what is at risk. In my example of stepping off the cliff, I was thinking about losing my health (e.g. broken bones, etc.) or my life! In your tough situations, slow down and reflect on what is actually at risk here. Know what you stand to lose but also know what you stand to gain! Think about the reason why you’re willing to risk. What do you have to gain? Then, move quickly to the next step!

3. Devise a Plan to Mitigate

Now, answer this question… How can you reduce that risk? Can you make one more phone call before you submit your pricing proposal? Can you talk to a mentor before you present your quarterly business review to the executives? Can you put a contingency plan in place in case the vendor can’t deliver on your tight timeframe? Can you put some pillows on the floor before you jump off the top bunk bed? Can you connect a second belay to the jumpers before they jump off the cliff?

4. Believe in your Plan

This step can be a tough one because it’s a mental game you’ll play with yourself. This ugly question will rise up in your brain, “But… can I trust my plan?” Here’s how I’ve learned to deal with this question. Your brain will try to take you back to the original risk.

For me on the cliff it was… “You’re risking your life!” But I had to counter that thought with the new risk… the mitigated risk. “No, that’s not true!” With the 4 carabiners attached to me, the two support lines, the two auto belays each able to handle 280 pounds, and the benefit of seeing 6 others go in front of me successfully… my risk is not my life. My new risk was much smaller… and just think of what I had to gain! The thrill, the excitement, the fun, the story to tell!

“	Have faith in your plan.

5. JUMP!

Now comes the fun part. You’ve addressed the biggest risk.

You’ve got a plan to reduce your risk exposure.

You know the payoff.

Now enjoy the ride.

JUMP!

So What Do We Do Now?

We can all implement these steps when we arrive at the forks in the road of our own career… or when we arrive at the 50-foot cliffs. Just like many things in life, it may be simple but that doesn’t mean it’s easy! Just knowing the process for addressing the tough decisions isn’t enough. We need to be willing to implement the plan.

It’s been said that people are either in a tough situation right now, they’re coming out of tough situation, or they’re about to go into one. Regardless of your current status, use this process to address the forks in your road. Remember, your story would have no movement if you weren’t making decisions that included some risk. It’s time to move your story along… It’s time to make the decision… It’s time to choose! Let’s go!

It’s time to jump…
Russ

Let’s connect…

The post 5 Steps to Make Risky Decisions Less Risky first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

Three Ways We Destroy Trust

RPjr — Sun, 06 May 2018 11:05:24 +0000

What we can learn from the Prisoner's Dilemma

The police detective enters the room to question the first of two suspects. “Your buddy in the other room is going to have a chance to speak, just like you. If you confess you both did it, you’ll both get a minor sentencing. But… if you stay silent and your buddy talks… you’re going away for a long time and your buddy will go free.”

This is a classic psychological problem called the prisoner’s dilemma. There have been research studies simulating this predicament to study how humans tend to react. The situation causes the mind to begin speculating about the future, your trust level for the person in the other room, and it can generate many emotions.

In one of our workshops on building teams we simulate the prisoner’s dilemma with a game we call Red / Blue. We split the class into two groups and place them in two different rooms. They’ve been told to “achieve the highest score” based on our scoring system but we never mention anything about winning or losing. What we want them to achieve is the highest combined score. It’s always interesting.

Here are three observations I’ve made from the prisoner’s dilemma…

1. Confusion causes a lack of trust

When the two teams are confused with the game and what exactly they’re supposed to be doing, their lack of trust is magnified and projected. They begin to think I shouldn’t be trusted. We play with small red and blue cards they select for each round. Team players will say to me, “Empty your pockets! Do you have your own deck of cards? Are you really taking our cards to them? Are you showing them our card before they have to pick a color?”

Instead of asking me more questions to clear up any confusion, their minds run away with speculation based on a lack of trust. They don’t trust the other team and they don’t trust me. Later in the game, they will even show a lack of trust in their own team members.

Lesson learned: If you’re confused, ask questions to clear up the confusion.

2. Competition is assumed when we’re divided

I don’t even say anything about competing against each other. In fact, I actually tell them when we begin the game, “You are representing two divisions of the same company.” But, they still assume, “If we are in two groups and there’s a scoring system, then we need to beat the other team!”

When we are placed into different business units of a company, we need to drop the attitude that it’s okay for another department to suffer as long as we’re hitting our department goals. When one department hurts… the entire company hurts.

Lesson learned: Teams need to support each other. When one suffers, we all suffer.

3. Communication always helps

After each round I ask the team before I exit their room, “Do you have any questions for me?” By the 4th time I’m asking them this someone in the group usually asks, “Are we supposed to have questions for you?” I usually pause for dramatic effect, then I say “Yes” as I exit the room.

We play 8 rounds of each team selecting a colored card and we offer an opportunity for the leader of each group to have a summit after round 3 and round 6. The idea is to get the two teams talking to each other to help build trust between the groups. When one team feels like they have more points, they usually reject the meeting. “Why should we talk to them? We’re winning!”

I force the two leaders to speak after round 6 whether they want to or not. It’s amazing how civility and trust immediately begin to build when they meet face to face. Their separation allows their minds to speculate and assume the worst of the other team.

Lesson learned: Communication will always help build trust and positive outcomes.

What does it all come down to?

While this is just a game based on psychology, it teaches everyone a powerful lesson about trust. Stephen M. R. Covey has written in his book The Speed of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything that “As trust goes up, speed goes up, and costs go down.” Keep the lines of communication open if you want to build trust throughout your organization. Your Income Statement and bottom line will thank you.

“	As trust goes up, speed goes up, and costs go down. —STEPHEN M. R. COVEY

I’m still working on taming my speculative mind,
Russ

Books referenced in this post:

The Speed of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything, by Stephen M. R. Covey

Let’s connect…