His question was not atypical. “What can I do to look more confident to my audience?” I get this one a lot in my workshops. I paused for a moment and said, “You’ve got to be more confident.” Of course, I had to say that with a smile and a wink.

There’s a big difference between being confident and just acting confident. I’m not a big fan of the “fake it until you make it” comment either. I never want the speakers I coach to be faking anything. I want them to “be” what they are meant to be. Put very simply, I want them to be authentic.

But how can we be authentic and what exactly does that even mean?

Your True and Authentic Self

What I’ve discovered, we all have an authentic self. That authentic self is at our core. While it’s at our core, it doesn’t mean it will never change or that it is something we were “just born with.” Our core is just the authentic self and a reflection of what we value most.

Now surrounding the Authentic Self is a layer that’s constantly being created, refined and formed to cloud out and cover up the Authentic Self. This layer is called the False Self. This False Self is created over time as we listen to that internal voice. You know the one. It’s the voice we all seem to have in our mind. It’s not our friend. It is some kind of enemy who speaks to us. Attempting to redefine our authentic self.

“You don’t have what it takes.”

“You’re a fake and they’re going to know it!”

“Your just a loser and they’re going to find out.”

“You’re no expert. Who do you think you’re kidding!?”

“You’re way out of your element. You don’t belong here. You’re not good enough.”

When the False Self does a good job of getting us to listen, we begin to believe the lies. We believe them so much, we actually begin to believe the False Self and the Authentic Self are one in the same.

The Quick Fix Question…

I’m guilty of this too, we start to think we need to show a better self to the public. We think we need to create a third layer on top of the false self. We need to cloak or hide the false self. Maybe we can project a better version of us to the public! Maybe we can “fake it” long enough that we will eventually become better at it? We call this outer layer the Projected Self and we use it for masking the False Self. It’s what we want others to see when they look at us. This is the layer I get asked about all the time in workshops. People want me to help them create a projected self.

“How can I show more confidence when I’m speaking?”

“What can I do to increase my approachability?”

“What should I do with my hands so I don’t look so nervous?”

We Don’t Teach Acting

If you want to learn how to act, don’t take one of our workshops. We don’t teach acting. We teach authenticity. What this means is that we don’t add a third layer (projected self) on top of the unnatural you (false self). Instead, we help you remove any remnants of the false self so you can be your true, authentic self. That’s what the audience wants anyway. They want you to be you!

So, what do we give you in our workshops to help release the authentic self? We give you tools and exercises you can use to strengthen your core. When you have a stronger core you can better defend your authentic self against the enemy speaking lies into you.

Don’t get caught up with anyone who promises quick-fixes or promotes masking your nervousness or lack of confidence. Your audience doesn’t want a projected self. The audience wants authenticity… not acting. So give it to them!

See you next week,
Russ

Ever wonder what your audience thinks of you? Have you tried your best to read their body language and facial expressions? What do they really think of you? Do they see you as an expert? Do they know you’re not? Can they see you’re nervous? The questions they ask might be your best clue. Here’s why…

3 Types of Requests from Your Audience

My good friend Sara Canaday wrote an insightful book (You According to Them) on how the world perceives you. She goes into amazing depth on the styles of communicators and what your style says about a you. I highly recommend you add it to your reading list!

From what I’ve personally discovered from public speaking, there are three types of questions you’ll get from your audience. Each type of request is a snapshot into how this person perceives you.

Here’s an exercise you can do the next time you speak. Listen to the types of questions you’re asked and document them all. Then, place each question into one of the following 3 buckets. If you get a large majority of questions in one bucket, it should tell you something about how your audience sees you.

1. They Question Your Data

What were the numbers last quarter? How did you calculate that? What were the numbers in the SouthEast Region? This is when your audience asks you to provide numbers on a dashboard for the project you’ve been working on. Just the report card from tracking the data. You’re asked to compile the records, sum the information, and consolidate it all into one report. Then, as you present your dashboard slide, the audience asks questions about the numbers.

The Audience sees you as…

A MESSENGER. You’re a collector of data and information. They want to know you’re a credible source for the data. What happens with the data or how it’s interpreted or used will be determined by the audience. They’ll do the analysis of the data and then decide on next steps. You’re not asked for an expert opinion. You’re just asked to report the accurate data to them. You’re not invited into the decision-making process.

2. They Ask for Your Analysis

Sometimes the audience needs you to interpret the data. They lack the expertise you possess. Your personal interpretation of the data provides helpful insights and meaning. They might ask you, “What does all this mean? Why is this significant? How can we use this information?” The audience will ask you questions they can’t answer on their own because they’re not the subject matter expert… you are!

The Audience sees you as…

An EXPERT. You have the ability to interpret the data. Information becomes knowledge when it can be interpreted for a real-world application. The audience can’t analyze the information on their own because they lack the ability. You’re a sage expert in their eyes. They need your expert opinion to help them find value in the information.

3. They Question the Future

Once we analyze data for meaning, the next step is to apply it to our own personal world. When we learn some information from a speaker, we all go through a translation process. That’s where we take the knowledge we’ve gained and apply it to our own personal world so we can benefit from it.

Every time we learn something new, we all want to know how we can personally benefit from this information. “How do we apply this to our world to make our future better?” That’s the question the audience wants you to answer for them when their questions focus on the future.

The Audience sees you as…

A LEADER. You have the ability to positively affect the future. While all leaders live in the present to get things done, all leaders also have a vision of the future. When the audience asks you about applying information and knowledge to the future they might ask you predictive or “what if…” types of questions. Show them how to get value out of your information by applying it to their future and you’ll be seen as a leader.

“ All leaders are going somewhere and all leaders have followers. —RUSS PETERSON JR.

Now also keep in mind your audience might be asking you the level 2 and level 3 questions even when they have their own expertise or opinions because they are inviting you into an expert or leadership role. The great coaches and leaders develop others by challenging them with questions to take them out of their comfort zone. That is where the growth happens!

I hope you all have a coach in your audience inviting you into the next step of your career.

Let me know if you have any questions!
Russ

“Um, Good morning everyone. I… uh… well, I’m really glad to be here and um… um… really excited to share um, our thoughts on, um, well it’s not just our thoughts really, it’s really um, our vision, um…well, um… let’s get started.”  Your speaker for the day begins like this and you’re in the audience. How excited are you to hear the rest of the presentation? How confident are you in this so-called vision? I’m guessing the “yawns” are starting to creep in!

It’s easy for us all to sit in the audience pointing fingers or offering guidance using that horrible coaching word “should,” but we’ve probably all found ourselves in that same position as the speaker at some point in our career. I know I have and it wasn’t fun. Speaking and presenting can be tough.

It Never Gets Any Easier

While this is the truth and it can sound like bad news, it’s not. The fact is that with proper focused attention, you get stronger. That should not only be comforting, it should be motivating! The task never changes. It never gets any easier. It is what is is and it always will be. But what does change is you! You become more skilled, more experienced, and more practiced. You get stronger.

“ It never gets easier, but you get stronger!

4 Ways to Eliminate the Filler Words

You’ve heard this before, instead of saying “um” you need to be silent. Just don’t say anything! Just replace the filler words with a pause instead. You don’t need me to tell you that and you certainly don’t need to waste your time reading a blog post if that’s all it gives you for controlling filler words.

Here’s what I’ll give you next. These are the four steps for eliminating the filler words.

1. Awareness

Let’s face it, if you don’t know you’re doing something how can you ever expect to make a decision to change? In our workshops we video record each student as they address the audience. “I said that many ‘ums’? There is no way!” That’s when we can say, roll the tape! I’m guilty of the same thing. Even after two decades of public speaking, I still catch myself using fillers I let creep back in. Audio or video record yourself rehearsing sometime and make yourself aware!

2. Get Comfortable with Silence

If you’re not comfortable using a powerful tool, you won’t use it. The first time I ever used a saws-all I had a friend show me exactly how to hold it and apply the appropriate pressure to cut through the wall. It’s a scary tool if you’ve never used one. Silence is just as powerful for the speaker. Practice using silence in your next presentation by building in a longer pause at some point. After a thought-provoking question would be ideal.

3. Slow Down

I know this is easier said than done, but that doesn’t give you permission not to try. Here’s something magical that happens when you slow down. If you could slow your pace down to one word every second you wouldn’t say any filler words… ZERO! If you slow down just a little bit from your normal public speaking pace, the vast majority will also disappear.

4. Read Out Loud

Do this every day for about 5 minutes. When you read out loud your ears get the  benefit of hearing your own voice speak in a semi-formal environment (you’re on a script so it feels more formal than just talking to other people in conversation.) You don’t say “um” when you’re reading. When your ears get tuned to hearing you speak out loud without saying “um” they become hypersensitive and aware of the nasty filler words. Your brain naturally begins to avoid them!

I’d love to say you can follow these 4 steps once and every “um” will be magically eliminated, but I’m living proof, it doesn’t always happen that way. It’s more of a constant awareness, and remember… while it doesn’t get easier, you get stronger. Never stop trying.

“ Your words matter. Your words change lives. —RUSS PETERSON JR.

Your future audiences have too much riding on your messages. Do it for their benefit. Your words matter. Your words change lives.

Time to go get stronger…
Russ

I’m sure you’ve heard the advice from others to grab your audiences’ attention from the very start of your presentation. Then, hang on to it throughout your presentation. That sounds great! The tough part is answering the question… “Now, how do I do that exactly?”

Don’t use a joke!

I’m sure at some point you’ve heard people say, “Oh, you’re giving a speech? You should start with a joke! That’ll loosen up the audience!” If you’re a delivering a keynote speech or the groom’s toast at a wedding, you can probably make that work. But, if you’re speaking in a business environment, I would advise against it.

I’ve got nothing against using some humor in a business presentation, but out-right jokes (e.g. “Two guys walk into bar…”) is not appropriate for a business presentation. In most cases, (because there are always exceptions) jokes like this in a business setting will be interpreted by the audience as an amateur attempt to gain acceptance with the audience.

What’s the difference between humor and jokes?

Jokes are delivered with an intent to gain laughter and the joke is the point. Humor is usually injected with a pithy anecdote which serves as a humorous side-note, but it is not the point. The point is something else.

5 ways to grab audience attention

There are many ways to open a presentation or speech and grab the audiences’ attention. Think about how you can connect with your audience and where they are today by using one of the following methods to gain their attention.

1. Tell them a story

Storytelling is an art form. I think you know this is true because there are people in your life and you love to hear their stories. Then there are others in your life… well, maybe not so much. If you’re going to share a story with your audience first, make sure you have a point or a moral to the story. Next, tell it in as few words as possible. Use character names and give them a voice. Here’s a past blog post with more details on storytelling.

2. Quote someone they know

Using a meaningful quotation from another person can create an immediate connection with your audience. When I deliver a keynote to a larger group I mingle with the audience before I begin. When I get their thoughts on the topics for the day, I can use that in my opening and give credit to them by name. Quotes don’t need to be from someone like George Washington, you can simply quote Dave in Accounting and get the same affect with the audience.

3. Ask them a thoughtful question

Some of my students tell me they want to be more engaging with their audiences. I think we would all love to be more engaging, but the question can be, “How do I effectively do that?” When I’m coaching others, I always start with engaging the audiences’ minds. Engage their brains! One simple way to do that is with a question that makes them think. If the question is too simple, it doesn’t work. Go for the question that makes them go, “Hmmmmmm…”

• “If you only had 10 minutes to prep before a meeting, what would you want to know?”
• “How much money do you think we spend globally each year on airfares?”
• “What do you think is the number one complaint from our customers?”

4. Make a bold statement

Bold statements need to shake the audience’s foundation a little bit. It can be a cruel reality or it could be a challenging goal for the future. Either way, it needs to wake them up. Depending on who is in the audience, this can take on many forms.

• “20% margin by the year 2020.”
• “ZERO personal injuries for this next fiscal year.”
• “Wendy Johnson is retiring and stepping down as our CEO.”

5. Share an illustration

Illustrations are not stories. These are descriptions that tap into the imagination of the audience. If you want to engage the audience’s brains you should focus on three key areas: their logical brain, their feeling brain, and their imagination. One of the easiest (and most effective!) ways to engage their imagination is to get the audience to picture something in their mind. Sometimes, the crazier the better!

• “Picture 2 billion iPhones stacked end to end and reaching all the way up to the moon.”
• “Imagine our organization in 10 years. We have grown to 7 global locations on 5 continents…”
• “What if we could take all of our datacenter and consolidate them down to only 2 on each coast.”

Gaining your audience’s attention from the very start is something you need to plan. It doesn’t happen by accident… I guess I shouldn’t say it won’t ever happen without planning. It happened by accident with me once…

I was speaking in downtown Dallas and as I gestured my hand toward the large screen behind me from the stage, I fell off the back of the stage…

I’m sure that mishap got everyone’s attention and I’m positive I didn’t plan that one. Ask me about it the next time you see me and I’ll be happy to finish that story for you.

Time to go PLAN my next opening!
Russ

You might be surprised, or maybe you wouldn’t. I’ve had the opportunity to coach senior level executives, including the CxO levels, and sometimes it surprises me when I get this question. “I still get nervous before I step out there to speak. What can I do?” It’s not just executives. It’s all of us. I get this question A LOT!

While there’s a list of tips you can follow for overcoming fear of public speaking, the best tip will always be proper preparation. But what seems crazy, is that sometimes even when you’ve properly prepared… you still feel nervous to a fault! What gives? How can you take care of those last minute jitters?

You just have to do this one thing

If you remember the movie City Slickers with Billy Crystal, this tip to my students always reminds me of Curly, the old cowboy from the movie play by Jack Palance. Curly tells Billy Crystal’s character the meaning of life. He says, “It’s just one thing.” When Billy Crystal’s characters asks him, “What’s the one thing?” Curly just smiles says, “That’s what you need to figure out.”

Well, I’m not going to be as cryptic as old Curly. I’ll tell you the secret to calming the last-minute nerves is just one thing, but I won’t tell you to figure it out. I’ll give you a little help…

One Thing for Two Minutes

To properly calm yourself, you just need to do one thing for two minutes. When I say “do one thing” I mean you need to focus on one thing. This is actually what some people call “meditation.” In fact, that’s really what meditation is all about! You just focus on one thing. If someone is starting you out with meditation, they will usually have you focus on your breathing as the “one thing.”

If you’re going to focus on breathing, you would sit quietly and just notice your breathing for about two minutes. Don’t actually change your breathing, just notice it. In through the nose… slow… cool… refreshing. Now, out through the nose… warm… heavy… slow.

I tend to focus on… the Sense of Touch

While breathing is just fine, I’ll sometimes choose to focus on one of my 5 senses. Oversimplified, we are all like computers. We have 5 data ports (your senses) and data is constantly streaming in through those ports. When the data comes in, it is sent to the CPU of the computer (the brain) for processing. To quiet the mind and calm my nerves, I pick one of the senses and I observe the stream of data coming in through that port right now.

My good friend (an amazing speaker and brilliant instructor) Paul Slattery taught me this technique many years ago. Find a quiet place to sit for a few minutes. Then get comfortable in a chair with your back all the way up against the back of the chair. Then… start your focus observation by starting at the floor and working your way up.

• Feel the sole of your foot in your shoe…
• Feel your leg crossed on top of the other…
• Feel your hands resting on each other on your thigh…
• Feel the backs of your thighs on the chair…
• Feel your bum on the chair…
• Feel your lower back touching the back of the chair…
• Feel your upper back touching the back of the chair…
• Now move your head slightly and feel your neck muscles engage…
• Then… you work your way right back down the body.

Once you get back to observing your feet, you start your way back up and down again. Usually a quick scan up and down twice will be about two minutes. This should be enough to calm your nerves.

Why does this work?

We tend to get nervous before speaking when we allow our mind to run away from us. What does that mean? It means we allow our minds to go to the future or the past, instead of staying focused here on the present.

“I remember the last time I had to do this and it was a disaster!” (your mind is in the past)

“I hope they don’t ask me that tough question. I bet they will hate this.” (your mind is in the future)

When you take a couple minutes to bring your mind into the present, it calms you. When you meditate by focusing on one thing for two minutes, you are forced to watch the data stream as it is coming in. The data is happening right now. It centers your mind on the “right now” and it calms you.

“ Focus on what you’re doing, not how well you’re doing it. —RUSS PETERSON JR.

My usual first comment to someone I’m coaching is just this, “Focus on WHAT you’re doing and not HOW WELL you’re doing it.” There will be time to evaluate later. For right now, just stay focused on the present and the task at hand.

The best analogy I can think of for this is a free-climber rock climber. Do you think they are evaluating how they’re doing with this climb while they’re doing it? I doubt it. They are not grading how well they did. They are focusing only on the task at hand. They are focused on WHAT they’re doing.

Time to calm the nerves… see you next week!
Russ

My colleague and friend Cynthia Oelkers is an absolute rock star with communication, so it didn’t surprise me when she published an amazing blog post titled, “How to Rock a Panel.” I was delivering a workshop on Leader Presence this week for a corporate customer and one student asked me, “Do you have any tips on speaking from a panel discussion?” While I had a few tips for my student, I also knew Cynthia had written a great article on this very thing.

Thank you to Cynthia for allowing me to share her article here with you! Please connect with Cynthia and follow her, if you don’t already. She’s full of wisdom!

Now, here is Cynthia’s Blog Post on “How to Rock a Panel.”

See you next time,
Russ

1.  Have 3-5 pocket stories – the best way to seem like you’ve done this before is to tell us a story about how you actually did this thing with a real client. Tell us how you failed and what you learned. Tell us about a wild success (humbly). Let your clients speak for you (using your mouth!).  “Last month we faced this same issue with recruiting new volunteers for our Love Box program. One of the VPs at our corporate sponsor Dell said she’d post the need on her neighborhood Facebook page. And you know what? We got a huge response because the call for help was made by a person who had influence in their own community. It made a bigger impact coming from her than it would have from us. It’s now one of our best practices.”
2. Be the translator – After you tell us how you overcame a barrier and pushed through your limits, connect the dots to our experience. Translate how what you learned in your situation can help us. Say something like, “So, how can this help you? [ANSWER]” or “What this means to some of you in your business is….[ANSWER].” I mean, we are here to learn about your personal journey, but we REALLY want to get inspiration and new ideas from you FOR OURSELVES. Move your inward focus outward to us.
3. For the love of all that is holy, quit spouting jargon and “marketese” at us. Unless we are a homogenous group of tight-knit peers, leave your “solutions” and “optics” at home. Pretend we are your smart mom who isn’t necessarily entrenched in your industry and use everyday language to talk to us. I guarantee that having a teacher’s heart towards us will make us trust you and like you so much more.
4. We are DYING to like you – Really. We’ve sat through some really boring presentations before we got to yours. You can win this by just being LIKEABLE. Smile, make a joke, laugh at yourself, BE DIFFERENT. Let your personality shine through. Credibility + likeability = persuasion. We buy things from people we LIKE. Help us like you (And I know you know this, but have decorum in your difference. Don’t wander into circusville. I once had a speaker throw dinner rolls at us as part of her speech on innovation. It didn’t work because it didn’t fit).
5. We are watching you when you aren’t speaking – and we are gauging how much your respect the other speakers. If you are distracted, we will think you don’t like the other speakers or that you only care about yourself. If you are paying attention to the other speakers, we will credit you with respect and humility, and that’s the kind of person we want to work with.
6. Microphones – everyone has a lavaliere mic or no one does. Don’t pass around a lavaliere, it’s loud and distracting, and it looks awkward. Handheld mics are good – have one per every three panelists and one for the moderator. We don’t want to watch the microphone travel hand to hand down a long line of panelists. It’s a time-waster.
7. What’s your secret mission? Why did you say yes to speak on this panel? Don’t just say “it’s good marketing.” Figure out WHAT you want this audience to know about you by the time you are finished talking. Answers can be something like “I want the audience to get that Wells Fargo is not just a big, impersonal bank. We are the bank in your neighborhood that helps your kids, shows up at your events, and serves alongside you.”
8. What is the audience dying to know? Why did we spend money and a day or more coming to this conference? What did we hope to leave with? If you aren’t giving us some NEW, specific ideas and tips, you’ve failed us. Think of 1-2 insights you can TEACH this audience during your panel time. Can you help us avoid a mistake you made? Do you have a great resource we could use, too? Give us a peek under the tent and it will show us that you are, indeed, an expert worth spending money on.
9. Sameness is the enemy of the presenter – what’s expected at a panel? People sitting in a row, passing a mic, and talking. What’s not expected? You standing up, you drawing something on a whiteboard, you getting us involved in a quick activity, you reading a relevant quote from a client or an industry expert, you bringing an actual (again, relevant) prop that illustrates your point. “You’ve heard of the online dating site called Tinder, right? The app presents you with a person’s profile, and if you are interested, you swipe right on your phone [shows how to swipe right with her hand]. If you are NOT interested, you swipe left [swipes left with hand]. Let’s try it: I’m going to read some statements and if you agree, swipe right with your hand in the air. If you don’t, swipe left.  [AFTER THE EXERCISE] This is how our SchooLinks app works, except instead of matching potential dates, we match high school students to colleges.”
10. Grab us from the get-go and we will follow you anywhere – Whether the moderator introduces you or not, open your show with a solid introduction. Follow this formula:
    • Start with a quote, a startling statistic, a metaphor, a poll, a challenging question… something besides “Good morning, my name is X and I am the Y at Z” (snooze). Remember, sameness is the enemy of the presenter.
    • Then, tell us your name and explain what you do at your company in PLAIN ENGLISH.
    • Finally, tell us the reason WHY you love this work and that you hope to share that passion with the audience.“G.K. Chesterton, in his book Alarms and Discursions said, ‘Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.’ (pause for laughter)My name is Kendall Antonelli and I am the owner of Antonelli’s Cheese – which are two cheese shops and a bistro here in Austin. I am here to tell you that, for me, cheese has opened up an adventure into entrepreneurship and trying to use our business to do good in the community. Today, I hope to share with you some things we learned along the way. Thanks for having me.”

BONUS: if you are a woman, find out if you will be elevated by sitting on a bar-height stool or on a stage.  If you are higher than the audience’s eye level, strongly consider wearing pants or a long skirt. You don’t want your movements to be constricted because you are worrying about being modest! There is enough to worry about on speaking day.

Really want to rock your next conference or sales presentation? Work with Cynthia one on one to transform your content into something special and deliver it like warm, confident, and savvy leader you are.

Cynthia Oelkers
MFA Interpersonal Communication

Look, you’re no dummy. You didn’t get to where you are without the right mix of talent and discipline, but we all have issues. Cynthia will help you systematically and confidentially become a bigger rock star. Drop your damaging communication habits. Increase your personal power. Inspire your people. Have the courage to make real changes with a coach in your corner.

Using a mix of frank talk and good humor, Cynthia is known for delivering the hardest of news in the nicest of ways. She’s been the biggest fan in the corners of organizations such as Dell, Dun & Bradstreet, The Methodist Hospital, Digital Realty, Milk and Honey Spas, Cintra US, Enspire Learning, Abilitie, Planar Systems, Lutheran Social Services (now Upbring), and has helped over 800 executives achieve a winning balance of power and likeability.

Working in the high-tech environment since 1993 is enough to make anyone understand the need for better communication. In 1999, she led the Large Corporate Accounts division to meet Dell’s corporate goal of moving 50% of their business online – one year early. And she did it by persuading Dell’s sales force and corporate customers of the benefits of the e-tool. After her experience helping customers integrate Dell’s online suite of B2B products into their processes, Cynthia became a professional speaker for Dell. She spoke to CEO/CIO/CTOs from Fortune 500 companies like: Pitney Bowes, Honeywell, Perot Systems, Sony, Enron, Microsoft, GE Capital, First Data Corp. on “How Dell Drove Their Business to E”.

Since then, Cynthia has used research in persuasion and compliance-gaining to help over 800 (and counting!) executives become top-notch leaders. In addition, she combines her work in theater and business to help people polish both their interpersonal and public speaking skills. Cynthia holds a Master’s degree in Interpersonal Communication from U.T. where she researched sales anxiety and persuasion. She has also taught communication at St. Edward’s and LeTourneau Universities. On weekends, she performs with award-winning Girls Girls Girls Improvised Broadway Musicals in Austin, Texas. That’s improv, y’all.

I knew it wasn’t going to be your normal conference kickoff keynote when I entered the ballroom and found a bongo at every audience seat. I was in the audience that day with about 400 other attendees. We couldn’t help but pick up the bongo, inspect it and experiment with tapping on it. Then one person stepped out onto the stage and a hush fell over the audience.

As we anxiously awaited his first words, the leader on stage didn’t speak. He stood in front of a much larger bongo on the stage and with one powerful motion, he struck the bongo once. We all watched. He just stared back at us and then he struck it again.  This time after he struck the bongo, he motioned with an open hand to the audience. As if we heard the unspoken command, we all instinctively struck our bongo once in response to him.

This follow-the-leader process continued until both the stage and the audience were playing a high-energy duet of amazing beats with additional percussion instruments from the stage band. After 30 minutes of adrenaline and fun, the speaker stopped the music and delivered an amazing 15-minute keynote on the importance and beauty of effective teamwork.

It’s time to Break the Script

That event was delivered by the Drum Cafe. They do an outstanding job of kicking off events with high energy with a message. They are successful for many reasons, but I use them as an example here today because they effectively do what the Heath Brothers (Chip and Dan) call “breaking the script.”

Think about it. When you attend a conference you’re expecting a script. The script goes something like this:

• Opening keynote from a celebrity or senior executive
• Multiple days of sessions with too many powerpoint slides
• Happy hour on the last night (or each night!)
• Closing keynote message from another celebrity or senior executive

This event was already different. The script had been broken from the very start by beginning with the Drum Cafe. When we speak to an audience, we should consider how we can break the script to create a memorable moment. These memorable moments are not just for the sake of being memorable. The benefits include a more engaged audience and followers who are more likely to implement changes as a result of the event.

How can we break the script in public speaking?

This is what I’ve seen in some of my students and from other professional speakers I’ve had the privilege to work with over the past 20 years. Each of these break-the-script moments left a lasting impact on me and I still remember their presentations to this day.

1. Movement on the stage – It was the third team presentation I was observing in Houston. Each team previous had chose to stand at the lectern and deliver their messages. When the third team began, the first speaker stepped out from behind the lectern and moved to center stage in silence. Then he began to speak. He painted a landscape that wasn’t right. The audience could feel there was something wrong with the picture. They felt it too. Then he said, “This is going to be problem with a heavy cost if we don’t address it.”At that moment he stepped toward the lectern while saying, “So the question for our group was, How do we address this issue with the limited resources we have available this year? That’s where our project begins.” As he made that final statement, he was standing back at the lectern and bringing up the first slide to explain their approach. Audiences love movement and they love it even more when the movement is in alignment with the message.
   

   “ The secret to humor is surprise. —ARISTOTLE

2. Change the slide appearance – Kevin Karschnik, the co-founder of iSpeak, is a master of facilitation. He does an outstanding job engaging his audiences into a conversation. One way he gives his audiences variety is with his slide construction. Kevin looks at his slides as a whole story. He creates a flow to the slides so they align with his story. Then, he makes what he calls bumper slides to show a natural transition from one topic to the next. The bumper slides provide either a visual or a question to consider as the story of the presentation naturally progresses. His audiences are never lost or disengaged.
3. Pause – Most speakers we work with tend to fill all available space with sound. They are either talking or they are transitioning to the next thought with a sound like “ummmm.” If you ask any professional speaker what you can do to be a better speaker, they will give you a handful of things you can work on. But, every speaker will give you this tip… “You must master the pause.” The pause is one of the most powerful tools you can use as a speaker. When used effectively it helps provide meaning and feeling to your message. It also sets you apart from 90% of the other speakers who never give their audiences the silence they desire. Pausing works great at a transition or after a question or statement where you want the audience to think about what you just said.
   

   “ Silence is one of the great arts of conversation. —MARCUS TULLIUS CICERO

4. Audience participation – Craig Valentine does a fantastic job with audience participation and engagement. One exercise he does is to have everyone stand and look at the person next to them. He asks them to take note of their appearance. Then, he has them turn away from their partner and change one part of their appearance (remove your glasses, turn your collar up, button one button on your coat, etc.) Then when you turn back around to look at the other person, he asks you to notice that one change. He then asks everyone to turn away and change 20 things. Everyone is stunned and then laughs. His point is that it is easier to make one small change and apply than to make many changes at once. Take one thing away from his talk and go apply it!
5. Don’t use slides – when everyone else seems to have a slide for everything, deliver your message with no slides. Be prepared to send out digital notes to the attendees afterwards. I was privileged to see former U.S. Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich deliver a keynote in Florida several years ago. Newt delivered his message with poise, confidence, and humor using no slides or any notes. It was a welcomed break from the script of endless slides from the other speakers!
   

   “ Remember that the most valuable antiques are dear old friends. —H. JACKSON BROWN, JR.

6. Go Old School on them – Almost 20 years ago I was in Las Vegas as part of an audience of 2,000 sales professionals watching a speaker deliver a message about the industry. The speaker used an old-fashioned overhead projector with transparencies and markers, while sitting on a stool. He didn’t write words on the transparency projector. He drew a picture and walked through it. The step by step delivery and the drawing was so simple and easy to understand, every salesperson had a new appreciation and understanding of the business problem this company could solve for customers.
7. Tap into the emotions – A student in Houston shared a brief story about her brother being killed on the job and the importance of safety in the workplace. I’ll never forget her ending line… “At the end of the day, it’s not about the hats… or the tee shirts… or even the bonus… It’s about YOUR headlights in YOUR driveway.” Wow. You could’ve heard a pin drop in that room. All messages generate a feeling. Unfortunately, in many PowerPoint Slide presentations the feeling is one of apathy or boredom! Think about the feelings you want your audience to have after you finish speaking. Remember, nobody moves until they feel something. Even if you want to argue with me and say, “That’s not true. We move in a direction strictly based on what the data tells us!” I would argue back that you’re moving in that direction because you feel confident the data is accurate.  Confidence is a feeling!

“How is leader presence any different from normal presence?” My student asked this question immediately after I defined the two elements that make up a first impression; your perceived confidence and your approachability. My student persisted with a follow up question before I could even respond, “I mean, isn’t your presence just these two things, whether you’re a leader or not?”

I went to the whiteboard and drew two overlapping circles and labeled one with Confidence and one with Approachability. Then I spoke to the class. “We all have a presence perceived by the audience in these two areas. That is true… but leaders also have a 3rd element.” I drew a third overlapping circle, in typical Venn Diagram fashion, and labeled it Vision.

Let’s Quickly Review the Definition of Leadership

We’ve already reviewed the first two elements of leader presence over the past two weeks. The first week we discussed Confidence, and last week we reviewed Approachability. This third element is called Vision and all true leaders have it.

In the past I’ve given you my simple definition of leadership which consists of only two parts. First, all leaders are going somewhere. If they’re not moving then they really aren’t leading. You can only lead if you go somewhere. Second, all leaders have followers. You actually can’t have one without the other. By definition and simple logic, one cannot exist without the other. If you have one, the other is assumed.

The 3rd Element of Leader Presence is VISION

I remind you of this definition of Leadership because the 3rd element of Leader Presence is also logical based on our definition of a leader. The leaders who project leader presence are doing three things:

• They’re going somewhere
• They’re taking followers with them
• They’re doing this by telling followers about the destination

In other words, the 3rd and final piece is about the leader casting the vision. Without the vision, they may show confidence and approachability, but they can’t be leading because they’re not going anywhere!

Some leaders are so good at communicating their vision of the future that they almost sound like time travelers! The leader describes the future state in such great detail and with such confidence it actually sounds like they’re from the future!

“ Leader Presence is three things: Projected Confidence, Approachability, and Vision.

But… How can I Communicate My Vision?

Here’s the Risky Part…

Do you know exactly what’s going to happen in the future?  No.  Let’s be honest… as much as we analyze the past and then predict and plan for the future, we don’t know with 100% certainty if it will actually happen. It’s not a sure thing. We’re not only asking our team to step outside their own comfort zones, we’re stepping outside of ours too.

We just don’t know and that uncertainty can eat away at our minds and absolutely kill our leader presence. But, we need to project confidence (1 of the 3 key elements of Leader Presence!) and therein lies the rub. When you cast a vision, it will inherently include risk. That risk generates fear in our mind, which ultimately can damage the confidence we’re projecting in our leader presence. Vicious cycle, isn’t it?

How can we overcome this risk of an unknown future?

It’s called COURAGE. Speaking up when something needs to be said, takes courage. Pointing everyone in a new direction you believe in, takes courage. Whether you have a leadership title or not, casting a vision into the unknown will take courage. In a nutshell, it always takes courage to lead. So be ready to kill the doubt when it enters your mind.

Do you want opportunities to practice your leadership skills?  Here’s an easy way to find them… Find the FEAR… and then step into it. Fear is not weakness. Fear is a normal human response to risk. How you respond to that fear determines your courage as a leader. People will see fear when they see risk. It will take courage for the leader to step into it.

So go out there and be courageous!

This wraps up our 3 part series on Leader Presence. Here’s a summary of all 3 blog posts with links to each.

• Today, February 11th – Confidence
• Sunday, February 18th – Approachability
• Sunday, February 25th – Vision