The police detective enters the room to question the first of two suspects. “Your buddy in the other room is going to have a chance to speak, just like you. If you confess you both did it, you’ll both get a minor sentencing. But… if you stay silent and your buddy talks… you’re going away for a long time and your buddy will go free.”

This is a classic psychological problem called the prisoner’s dilemma. There have been research studies simulating this predicament to study how humans tend to react. The situation causes the mind to begin speculating about the future, your trust level for the person in the other room, and it can generate many emotions.

In one of our workshops on building teams we simulate the prisoner’s dilemma with a game we call Red / Blue. We split the class into two groups and place them in two different rooms. They’ve been told to “achieve the highest score” based on our scoring system but we never mention anything about winning or losing. What we want them to achieve is the highest combined score. It’s always interesting.

Here are three observations I’ve made from the prisoner’s dilemma…

1. Confusion causes a lack of trust

When the two teams are confused with the game and what exactly they’re supposed to be doing, their lack of trust is magnified and projected. They begin to think I shouldn’t be trusted. We play with small red and blue cards they select for each round. Team players will say to me, “Empty your pockets! Do you have your own deck of cards? Are you really taking our cards to them? Are you showing them our card before they have to pick a color?”

Instead of asking me more questions to clear up any confusion, their minds run away with speculation based on a lack of trust. They don’t trust the other team and they don’t trust me. Later in the game, they will even show a lack of trust in their own team members.

Lesson learned:  If you’re confused, ask questions to clear up the confusion.

2. Competition is assumed when we’re divided

I don’t even say anything about competing against each other. In fact, I actually tell them when we begin the game, “You are representing two divisions of the same company.” But, they still assume, “If we are in two groups and there’s a scoring system, then we need to beat the other team!”

When we are placed into different business units of a company, we need to drop the attitude that it’s okay for another department to suffer as long as we’re hitting our department goals. When one department hurts… the entire company hurts.

Lesson learned: Teams need to support each other. When one suffers, we all suffer.

3. Communication always helps

After each round I ask the team before I exit their room, “Do you have any questions for me?” By the 4th time I’m asking them this someone in the group usually asks, “Are we supposed to have questions for you?” I usually pause for dramatic effect, then I say “Yes” as I exit the room.

We play 8 rounds of each team selecting a colored card and we offer an opportunity for the leader of each group to have a summit after round 3 and round 6. The idea is to get the two teams talking to each other to help build trust between the groups. When one team feels like they have more points, they usually reject the meeting. “Why should we talk to them? We’re winning!”

I force the two leaders to speak after round 6 whether they want to or not. It’s amazing how civility and trust immediately begin to build when they meet face to face. Their separation allows their minds to speculate and assume the worst of the other team.

Lesson learned: Communication will always help build trust and positive outcomes.

What does it all come down to?

While this is just a game based on psychology, it teaches everyone a powerful lesson about trust. Stephen M. R. Covey has written in his book The Speed of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything that “As trust goes up, speed goes up, and costs go down.” Keep the lines of communication open if you want to build trust throughout your organization. Your Income Statement and bottom line will thank you.

“ As trust goes up, speed goes up, and costs go down. —STEPHEN M. R. COVEY

I’m still working on taming my speculative mind,
Russ

Books referenced in this post:

The Speed of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything, by Stephen M. R. Covey

Why do we have so much trouble putting off the things we want, yet we have no problem putting off something we think will be work? The final entry for this series is the 4th and final mental hurdle we all deal with daily… wait for it… procrastination!

We never seem to have trouble putting off things that feel like work. On the contrary, if we think its going to be enjoyable, it is pure torture to wait one more second for it! I’m sure you’ve heard of the Stanford marshmallow experiments focused on studying delayed gratification. Children are offered one marshmallow they can eat right now, but if they wait 15 minutes to eat it, the attendant will give them another one! One now or two later?

This experiment has been replicated by others many times, all finding the same results. Delayed gratification is a struggle for us all, at varying degrees. I laugh just watching the kids’ faces.

“ Procrastinating is not doing the important things. —RUSS PETERSON JR.

We tend to put things off when we the reward is not going to be immediate. This is called Temporal Discounting. If we see how the effort today will produce a greater benefit for us tomorrow, we are more likely to consider doing the work now. In his book Stumbling on Happiness, Dan Gilbert shows how we  make decisions based more on today instead of trying to empathize with our future self and tomorrow. In other words, “One year from today, will you be glad you made this decision today?”

When the future rewards are not seen as greater than today’s reward, we create the perfect environment for procrastination. In one sense, our predicament is just two sides of the same coin. The answer to delaying a reward today or doing something difficult today is discovering the “why” behind each one.

1. Focus on “the why” to create movement

This requires you to know WHY you should do something or WHY you should put off an immediate reward for a greater future reward. The stronger the why, the more likely you’ll succeed. Make sure you have a plan and then start moving by fueling your movement with “Why.”

With a little help from Simon Sinek and his popular book Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action we can better identify our “Why” with 4 questions:

• Why is this important to me?
• Why is this important to others?
• Why should this be done now?
• What will happen now and in the future if I (do / don’t do) this?

2. Organize by Urgency vs. Importance

Next, if you can get all of your tasks organized and ranked by urgency and importance, it becomes easier to execute the tasks. One customer I worked with years ago admitted to using her email inbox as her to-do list and prioritizing the tasks by which email arrived first! Dwight D. Eisenhower was credited with using a simple process for determining priorities.  The method simply differentiated between important and urgent. If all your efforts are determined by what is due next, you are managing your time by urgency. When you manage your to-do list by urgency, your list is actually managing you!

3. Now get to work!

The final step is to just do it. Nike would be proud of you! With steps 1 and 2 completed, I know I feel much more energized to just Do the Work, (excellent book to help you by Stephen Pressfield.) It’s not going to get done without you, so you might as well execute your plan.

“ If you want to do something, you will find a way. If you don’t want to do something you will find an excuse. —JIM ROHN

Time to get to work!
Russ

Let’s connect on Twitter if we haven’t already?

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The 4-Part Series – C.R.A.P.

May 21, 2017 – Catastrophizing hurdle

May 28, 2017 – Rationalizing hurdle

June 4, 2017 – Agonizing hurdle

June 11, 2017 – Procrastinating hurdle

Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action, by Simon Sinek

Do the Work, by Stephen Pressfield

Cut the C.R.A.P. and Make the Sale, by Russ Peterson Jr.

Get your copy of my FREE eBook on Sales and Leadership Inspiration.

Russ Peterson Jr. is the co-founder and Managing Director of iSpeak, Inc. – An award-winning professional development training company. Russ is a published author on Professional Sales Communication and Business Communication. He delivers workshops, keynotes, and personal communication coaching services to business professionals in the US and around the world. You can connect with Russ directly through Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

My student pulled me aside during our break to ask me a coaching question with regard to her recent classroom presentation.  “When I was speaking, did you notice anything peculiar about how I was speaking?” When my students present for the first time, I often pick up on distractions in speech or body language, but doing my best to recall for this student, I didn’t recall anything outstanding beyond what we already covered.  Then she followed with this statement, “My manager wanted me to come to class today because he doesn’t like my voice. He said it’s annoying.”

I’m pretty sure my eyes telegraphed what I was thinking. I was not only shocked but also heartbroken for this student. Regardless of how the initial feedback was given by the manager, the message sent to this student was, “You are less than. I am more. You are not essential. I am. You should change.”

Culture Defines Success

Whether you’re leading an entire corporation or a project team, our interactions with others create our company culture. Dr. Noelle Nelson, author of Make More Money by Making Your Employees Happy, cites a study from Healthstream, Inc., which shows, “companies that effectively appreciate employee value enjoy a return on equity & assets more than triple that experienced by firms that don’t. When looking at Fortune’s ’100 Best Companies to Work For’ stock prices rose an average of 14% per year from 1998-2005, compared to 6% for the overall market.”. If we want to develop the strongest culture, we need to avoid these 7 culture killers.

7 Ways to Kill Your Corporate Culture:

1. Believe you’re always right (i.e. your opinion = truth)

When we offer coaching feedback in our workshops, our coaches always set the stage by telling all attendees that 95% of what we share with them is just our opinion. The rest of it is truth and cannot be disputed. If you believe your ideas are more than just your opinion, then you will hang on to them as truths, or laws of the universe! Humble leaders are willing to entertain a different thought without actually accepting it.

“ It’s the mark of an educated man to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. —ARISTOTLE

2. Feed your ego

In 2000 I had a meeting with a VP of Technology at the now-defunct Enron Corporation in Houston.  When my sales engineer and I arrived, she was not alone.  She had brought a gang of 10 other direct reports with her. All 10 of her direct reports sat in silence like the gallery at a golf tournament. They all just observed the meeting without offering anything. When the VP told me our company would need to cover all the capital expenses for the computer hardware, I politely told her that wouldn’t happen. Her response (for the benefit of her audience) was, “I don’t think you understand who you’re dealing with… we’re Enron!”  When your ego becomes your prime directive, the company loses.

3. Ignore anything that sounds different

When my students learn a new communication technique, I will sometimes get a couple students to cross their arms and say something like, “That won’t work here.” or “That’s not the way we do it.” or “We’ve always done it THIS way.” Preserving the past through traditions is meant for the holidays, not for business. If you’re breeding a culture of complacency you’re breeding a culture of mediocrity.

4. Always try to be right

In my workshops I’ll ask someone to make a fist and hold it out. Then I do the same and push my fist on his/hers. They will inevitably respond with more pressure as I apply more pressure. Then I’ll stop and ask, “Why are you pushing?” The response is always the same, “Because you are!” It is our natural programmed self to prepare for battle when we feel threatened. That means we will push back on anyone pushing on us, not physically, but verbally. When we feel attacked, adrenalin starts pumping into our system and it clouds our mental ability to think logically. If your objective for any conversation is to win, your motives become tainted. You may win the argument but the culture suffers.

5. Publicly point out what’s wrong with other people’s ideas

If you want to stop the flow of innovation, publicly ridicule other people’s ideas. As soon as the word gets out to others (which won’t take long!), you’ll have a culture of “status quo.” Keep your head down and just do what your told! When you can accept all ideas for consideration it will create an atmosphere of collaboration. Research at the University of Minnesota shows that two steps for listening to ideas without immediately shooting them down is beneficial to the culture.

1. Listen and withhold evaluation
2. For perspective, look for evidence in what they say to prove your own idea wrong

6. Stop listening to others

As you begin to speak, your manager looks down at his smartphone and begins to reply to a text message. You pause for a moment to let him finish. Then he looks up and says, “Go ahead. You can keep talking while I do this. I’m listening. I just need to reply to this real quick.” This seems more like a convenience for the boss to multi-task and take care of two things at once, but doing neither of them very well, I might add. Research shows that teams are more likely to be on-board with a new direction, even if they disagree with the final decision, as long as they’ve had a chance to be heard. Listen to your team.

“ Are you really listening or just waiting for your turn to talk? —ANONYMOUS

7. Don’t worry about feelings. This is business.

“My boss said I talk funny and he doesn’t like my voice.” You can’t tell me that hearing those words from your manager wouldn’t generate a feeling inside you? If you want compliance from your team, then forget about feelings and just apply hard influence. It’ll get the job done. But, if you want to build a culture of commitment, think about how you can approach the conversation… as a human!

Without consistent attention to the culture we have and the culture we’re building, we can create the beginning of our end. We all need to take the time to give culture the attention it deserves.

What’s your favorite part of your company culture?

Please leave your comments below!

Still doing my best to learn each day!
See you next week,
Russ

If you’d like daily inspiration and micro-learning, follow me on Twitter or like my PAGE on Facebook.

Life happens at the speed of 60 seconds per minute and 60 minutes per hour. There is nothing we can do to change that. We don’t have control over time itself. We can only control how we invest it. So in a sense, time management is a false concept because there is nothing we can do to change time. Maybe we should call it choice management because what we’re really doing is just choosing what we’ll do with the 60 minutes an hour we’ve been given.

When I started writing this, the nerd in me couldn’t help but do some research on why we measure time in 60 seconds, 60 minutes and 24 hours in a day. If you’re curious like me, you can read more about it here. In a nutshell we can thank the Egyptians for the 24 hours and the Greeks for the 60 seconds and minutes.

So if we can’t actually manage time, what can we do to manage ourselves better? There are three steps we can use to accomplish more with the time we’ve been given. It’s not about managing time; it’s about managing choices.

“ It’s not about managing time; it’s about managing choices! —RUSS PETERSON JR.

Step 1: Organize

Information and requests come at us every day and they can come from different sources. The first step is to recognize how you receive your requests. You might get requests from phone calls, voice mails, email, text message, face-to-face meeting, Instagram, Facebook message, or even a sticky note left on your desk. How do people communicate with you to ask you for something? These are the channels you have to monitor for incoming requests. Once you receive a request, you need to put it where it belongs.

Potential destinations for your requests include:

• Calendar – for requests that require a scheduled appointment or dedicated time
• To Do List – for items that will need to be completed, but don’t currently have a dedicated time on the calendar
• Reference File System – digital or physical, some information you receive just needs to be archived so you can easily find it again when needed.
• Trash – Some information is just an fyi for you or not even necessary. Delete this information as soon as possible.

Step 2: Prioritize

Once your information is organized, you need to decide when to work on it. One customer I worked with years ago admitted to using her email inbox as her to-do list and prioritizing the tasks by which email arrived first! Dwight D. Eisenhower was credited with using a simple process for determining priorities.  The method simply differentiated between important and urgent. If all your efforts are determined by what is due next, you are managing your time by urgency. When you manage your to-do list by urgency, your list is actually managing you.

“ When you manage your to-do list by urgency, your list is actually managing you. —RUSS PETERSON JR.

Step 3: Execute

Just creating and prioritizing the list won’t make anything happen. Now you have to take action. One simple but powerful tip for executing your plan is to remove distractions and focus on just that one thing for a set period of time. For example, I dedicated 60 minutes this morning to work on this blog post and a couple other ideas. My email tool is turned off (not just minimized!) so I can remove any distractions. Once my 60 minutes are up, I can take a break or maybe even reward myself (Did someone say Round Rock Donuts?) for staying focused on my task.

As a professional salesperson who lived in Houston traffic, I can tell you that organizing and planning my appointments for the day allowed me to have more productive time in front of customers instead of behind a windshield.

I’m going to end this blog post here because my 60 minutes are up and I’m going to go see what’s in the kitchen.

Always learning,

RPjr

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